American Dad!

Tell me about it.

Oh, for sure. For sure.

Perf. It's a date.

Bad news, guys.

Here we go.

I'm serious, Hayley!

I'm all torn up over here!

I have bad news...

for my haters!

Because Danuta is giving your boy Klaus another shot!

Isn't Danuta dating someone better than you?

She was! But he was hit by a train.

Hayley?

Fine.

Danuta has entered the small, glorious window

I like to call "The Rebound Zone."

But your personality, Klaus.

It's so bad.

Way ahead of you, Hayley.

In the Rebound Zone, cash is king.

The first suitor to impress Danuta

with a grand display of wealth will win her heart.

Attention, everyone.

It's Crunk Night at the club,

and I don't want to look stupid.

Now, which one of these chains

screams "Atlanta?"

"A" for Atlanta, or 7 for Michael Vick?

The club?

Stan, this is the third time this week.

This is how men blow off steam, Francine.

They go to the club, order bottle service, and dance.

I shouldn't have to explain this.

It's caveman shit.

Women like to dance, too!

Do they, though?

Yes!

I've asked you to take me dancing for years!

I want to spend time with you!

Oh, my God. We literally just went to Target.

We bought me these socks.

I rode in the car with you the whole way back.

There's a difference between buying socks

and being connected.

Is there, though?

What the hell do you want?

My name is Henderson.

Okay.

You don't know me,

but I was an acquaintance of Jack Smith.

Your husband's father.

Jack's dead. Bye.

I know about Jack's death.

I would have come sooner, but I live in Arizona now.

Cool?

I also knew Jack's little boy, Stan.

I'm sorry. Shithead, is it?

Henderson.

Jack is dead,

and Stan is all grown up with an angry wife.

You'll have to pay your respects some other time.

I think we have a misunderstanding.

I'm not here to pay respects.

I'm here to collect a debt.

Sit on that sofa and don't move!

It's story time.

Year was 1988.

Now, without computers and smartphones,

bad fathers watched porn in the living room.

I learned so much in school today!

Get this... the sun is a star!

Enough with the questions.

Can't you bore that pen pal I set you up with?

They hanged him on Christmas.

Nobody hated being a dad

more than Jack Smith.

Are you here to tuck me in?

Get an imaginary friend to tuck you in.

It's qualude time, people!

Stan felt like

the loneliest boy in the whole world.

God, will you send me an imaginary friend?

And that's when I fell into Stan's life.

Dad, I did it! I made an imaginary friend!

He fell from Heaven!

And Jack realized

his prayers had been answered, too.

He never had to spend time with his son again.

From that day on, he paid me to be Stan's imaginary friend.

Arrgh! Methinks Captain Blackbeard's

treasure be 'round here somewhere!

Yarr! I'll watch some TV,

in case they hide treasure clues in the shows.

On which channel be Donahue?

41.42.

What do you mean you skipped town?

What about my money, Jack?

Ready or not,

- here I come. - I ain't hidden yet!

Count to 3,000!

Okay!

51.52.

53...

Jack took off and stiffed me 300 bucks,

so I ditched Stan, too.

Took a methamphetamine gig in Arizona.

Oh, my God!

You and Jack are monsters!

If Stan ever found out...

He'd be crushed.

Which is why you're gonna cough up

the 300 clams Jack owed me.

You're despicable.

I can't believe you manipulated a kid like that.

$500! Thanks.

Don't thank me, scumbag.

I'm hiring you.

You are gonna convince Stan to take me dancing.

Don't mind me. Just passing through. Huge plans.

Dude. You are haggard.

So haggard.

So haggard.

I'm off.

These fishbowls are so cheap-looking.

How am I supposed to impress Danuta?

- I already told you... - That one.

Look at the glasswork.

Please tell me it costs less than the $30

I have in my flex spending account.

Not even close.

I'm gonna call Danuta and cancel our date.

Forget about her.

In fact, let's forget about everything.

Sick bong, Jeff.

Thanks. I made it myself.

I've been dabbling in glassblowing.

Jeff, do you realize what this means?

You could blow me...

a fishbowl for my date.

Grow up.

I'd kill for you

Without no drill

Yeah, I'd kill for you

What you drinking, stud?

I'm just here to dance with my friends.

Then why are you dressed like a slut?

Whatever. You're fat, anyways.

Don't listen to her. You've had two kids!

You look amazing!

I should get out of here.

Francine's taken the fun out of dancing.

Wait, this is my song!

This! Is! My! Song!

Get low, get low, get low

Get low, get low

To the window!

Tonight was great.

I'm peeing so much, Smith!

Francine and I.

Smith, I have some advice.

My True Religions are absolutely drenched in piss.

See you at work!

Hey, Blackbeard.

Henderson?

It can't be.

My long-lost imaginary friend!

You came back to me!

Are you ladies done with the wall?

I need to take a dump.

I never forgot about you, Henderson.

I missed you so much!

But why would an imaginary friend get so old

and sad-looking?

'Cause of all the imaginary drugs I've done.

Stan, you're finally using the tree house,

all alone, but I brought you two beers,

because beers are good.

Oh, God. She's so annoying.

I'll get rid of her.

Look at the time.

Better stop jerking off alone in my tree house

while there's still daylight.

- Nice. - Okay.

Guess I should boogie-oogie-oogie back inside,

'cause I love dancing.

"You're finally using the tree house."

Come on, dude.

Don't come in here with that when

you're obviously checking up on me.

Whadda-hella-dis?

There's only one candy corn for every two pretzels!

Forget this.

You don't deserve a woman like her.

So long, Stan.

Wait. If you're saying that,

it means I think I don't deserve her.

How do I keep her?

Take your wife dancing!

Dancing? With my wife?

Oh, there's got to be a Plan B.