The Simpsons

D'oh!

I haven't seen you before.

Yeah, we go around... jumping, jump, jump.

Oh, we bouncy ba... ha, ha.

Release the hounds.

I'm so excited Springfield finally has a vegan restaurant.

I thought you'd enjoy this, Lisa.

You deserve to have the food that only you like.

Your St. Louis-style Baby Back Fibs,

leg of yam and Wagyu beets.

Dad, are you sure you're okay eating here?

I can eat anything

as long as I pretend it once had a face.

- And eyes. - Ew.

Why are you both kissing up to Lisa?

Is this her last meal?

You're gonna want to look thin in your coffin,

so I'll eat your dessert.

Sure, have my dessert. You'll look like Dad.

And for your information, we are not kissing up.

By the way, Lisa, have you picked a subject yet

for your "Most Interesting Person I Know" paper?

Aha! Mystery solved.

Once again, the school pits parents against each other.

Homer, you're up. Sell yourself, dude.

Lisa, hi. Homer Simpson, longtime fan.

Astronaut, sometime taxpayer.

Oh, well, let's see,

"The most interesting person I know is a white male."

That'll go over great in today's climate.

I hope you like blowback.

Mom, Dad, I've made my decision.

After a lot of soul-searching, I've decided to go with...

Frink! I'm writing about Professor Frink.

Who?

You know. "Flavin, glayvin, hoyvik."

That Coke bottle with teeth?

He's devoted his life to helping the world through science.

Say, uh, can you tell me if I came in second or third?

It's best not to proceed down that road.

Fine. Then I can end this little vegan charade.

Professor Frink, I want to thank you so much

for letting me visit you during office hours.

His last visitor was the process server

for the monkey who's suing him.

Um, who's this?

Oh, well, that's Professor Hessler.

We share the space here.

Pay her no mind. She's in the humanities.

Professor Frink, I'd love to know

how you got started in science.

Oh, science? Well, I was created by science, my dear child.

Oh. That was you?

Oh, no, no, I was the world's second test-tube baby.

Yes, I-I was greeted with far less fanfare.

My parents had great chemistry.

Uh, no love, but they were chemists.

The only way I could get noticed was through science

And changing the pitch of my voice

so they couldn't help but notice me.

But I never had my breakthrough.

In a world of Einsteins, I am a James Chadwick.

- Who? - Well, exactly.

It's too bad your name isn't famous.

All this will change, for I have been developing

my own cryptocurrency.

Oh. I have no idea what that means.

What do they teach you at that school?

How to get the teachers coffee.

Yeah... A-Anyway, I will explain cryptocurrency by clicking

a link to TV's most beloved scientist, Mr. Jim Parsons.

People think I'm a nerd,

but I'm actually super cool.

That's why I'm here to talk about the really cool subject

of distributed consensus-based cryptocurrency.

Kachinga.

Could a nerd do that? I don't think so.

For cryptocurrency to work, we need a record

of every transaction that occurs.

These are recorded in what's called a distributed ledger.

When you use the currency,

the transaction is recorded in the ledger.

I can dig it.

And when one ledger book gets filled up,

we add to a "chain" of previous books.

That's the "blockchain."

Later, glitches.

If you'd like to learn more

about how cryptocurrencies work,

here's everything else you need to know.

And goodbye from me, super cool Jim Parsons.

It went in. It went in! It went in!

It went in! It went in... You saw it! It went in!

So will Frinkcoin finally be the invention

that makes me rich?

Or will...

Well, uh, thank you for your support.

Frinkcoin, the brainchild of longtime bachelor...

of science, Professor Frink, is making a mint.

Arnie Pye is live at the news conference.

I don't know why, Kent.

With all the layoffs, they've got me,

the traffic guy, on the science beat.

I just found out how a helicopter flies.

It's terrifying!

Well, whatever the heck that was,

Frinkcoin was just rated the world's most stable

financial instrument, beating gold,

the renminbi and roadside corn.

Well, can't eat no cryptocurrency

when the grid goes down.

That's why I started my hedge fund.

Another billionaire? How did he make his money?

Paraffin? Castor oil?

Whale bone corsets for the woman who dares?

Actually, cryptocurrency.

Oh, I know about cryptocurrency. I have it in my crypt.

No, sir, this is a new kind of digital currency,

based on blockchain.

Oh, I know all about blockchain.

Again, not what you're thinking.

This new currency has made Professor Frink

the richest man in Springfield.

Wait. Are you saying I am no longer the richest man in town?

I'm afraid not, Monty.

You have the gall to call me Monty?

Just because you chew my food

makes you think we're on a first-name basis?

Of course not, sir. I'll never do that again.

I will have my dinner now.

Lobster Thermidor.

Start chewing.

But, sir, I-I'm allergic to shellfish.

And I'm not, Wayland.

It went in... You saw it. It went in!

Hi, Professor.

I wanted to see how you're enjoying

your newfound fame and wealth.

He hasn't invested in deodorant. I can tell you that much.

Well, the first ten million went to pay off student loans.

S-Strange, strange.

I have the fame and fortune I've always desired and yet,

I'm... well, I'm as empty as a Dewar vacuum flask.

Well, maybe it's time to take care of yourself now.

What are the things that you've always wanted?

Oh, let's see, I've always wanted one of those pens

with the four different colors.

I fashioned one myself, but it's, uh,

it's a tad bit unwieldy.

You can get those pens, and so much more.

Do they make a silencer for his constant nasal whistle?

Well, you know what?

You will never have to worry about my adenoidal hiss again.

I can still hear it!

He's in Chicago, for God's sake!

Moe, Lisa has offered to pay my bar tab.

You do accept Frinkcoin, right?

I'll accept any currency except the Albanian lek.

I sunk everything I had into it,

and now I ain't got two qindarkas to rub together.

But that Frink, man, boy, he's sure got it made.

Yeah, I wonder what he's doing now.

I said I wonder what he's doing now!

Yes, come in.

So, are you happier?

No. No... I got everything I wanted.

Even the pen. But I'm-I'm still sad.

Aw, poor guy.

What?

That's just Amazon delivery. Calm yourself.

You should have seen poor Professor Frink, Dad.

Poor Frink? He's the richest guy in town.

But he's not rich in the most important thing there is.

Health?

Oh, yeah.

No. The most important thing is friends.

Dad, you should take Professor Frink to Moe's.

Oh, I can't do that. It's like having your mother's sisters

come for a visit.

Actually, they're coming in 20 minutes.

Taking Frink to Moe's.

Never seen a fat man move so fast.

Got a cigarette?

Not since we moved to Disney.

All right, next question... Hey! Pay attention.

Name a drink made from hops and barley.

Barley hops?

No.

- Meryl Streep? - Good guess, but no.

Uh, hey, guys,

I was wondering if my friend Professor Frink and I

could join you?

All right, but we've been playing a long time.

Don't expect to just come in and join a wall of trivia champs.

Well... oh, my goodness, well, no one...

The Bay City Rollers, Ed "Too Tall" Jones,

the cronut and ring-a-levio,

also known as ring-o-lario on Staten Island,

but those people are, well, they're quite backward.

All correct.