Eastwick

Welcome to Eastwick... a quaint little town,

but look beneath the surface and what you'll find

may surprise you...

women with the power to foretell the future,

control men's minds with just a flash of their eyes,

or summon the fury of mother nature. Aah!

But when a mysterious stranger arrives

with the promise of sex and trouble,

these women and this little town

will never be the same.

So I brought you some more pictures today,

see if we can jog your memory.

Ah, here we go. Do you remember her?

Here. Here, why don't we put this down right here?

So what do you think?

I call this one "Eastwick steel-cut oatmeal stout."

Tastes like beer. Yeah.

So why exactly are you buding a brewery?

I was thirsty.

Well, I'll tell you what... you made Raymond's year.

Ah, yes, Raymond. That does remind me.

What's this? My personal attorney, as promised.

She will guide you through the divorce,

and when she's done with Raymond,

he will need your permission to scratch his own ass.

Darryl, I think that Raymond and I

are gonna give it another chance. Mmm.

You know, he's been making a real effort lately.

I... I think he's changing. Keep the card just in case.

No, but thank you.

All right. It will be waiting if you ever need it.

Hey, kitty Kat, they're giving away beer cozies.

Be right back.

So, Darryl, I was wondering if I could ask you

a few questions for this article I'm doing for the paper. Sure...

Great. In a bit. Roxie?

Walk with me.

I've been thinking about you.

Let me guess... naked and covered in some kind of cooking oil?

Mm, canola, yes,

but I'm actually talking about something else.

I'm worried about you. Are you okay?

Well, that look on your face is kind of wigging me out.

This is the face of concern.

You recently made a proclamation that you wanted to see

an enemy of yours strung up in the town square,

and one day later, he accidentally hanged himself

in a very gruesome fashion in exactly that location.

And I figured you might be somewhat, oh, well,

as you would say, wigged out.

Oh, that. I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Look, I'm not saying it wasn't traumatic for Mia

and for me, and I may believe in a lot of crazy crap,

but I don't think I have the power to kill someone

with my words. Hmm.

Ah! The real reason that I'm building a brewery...

Giant scissors.

Am I crazy, or did I just hear you scream?

You know how sometimes when you're drunk, you think you see

your daughter's dead date rapist standing there

with a string of lights around his neck? No? Just me?

I would like to welcome you all

to the groundbreaking for the Eastwick brewing company,

setting a new standard in lagers, ales and stouts.

Yeah! I know there was some resistance at first,

but when Mayor Fox and the rest of the town council

had a chance to try our product, they came around.

My only hope is that once they sober up,

they don't change their minds.

Now what do you say we... we dig a little dirt

and we start drinking?

Cease and desist! Cease and desist!

Stop! Stop this right now! This is an abomination! Cease and desist! Cease and desist!

I have an injunction... Cease and desist!

Here in my hand... cease and desist! Cease and...

That explicitly forbids the building of a brewery

on this property.

Well, that's a buzzkill.

This man is not to be trusted.

He is a wolf in sheep's clothing,

and I know the truth about him.

This land was promised to the church.

Did you really think you could get away with this?

I may not be able to match him bribe for bribe,

but I know right from wrong! Yes, I do! Yes!

Share it with me! Yes!

Pastor Dunn, surely we can work out some sort of a deal. I do not make deals

with liars or criminals,

Mr. Van Horne.

Another time, perhaps.

We have driven him off!

Yes, we have!

Pastor Dunn! Pastor Dunn!

That was awful.

I feel like everyone was talking about me

behind my back the whole day. That's because they were.

Thank you. Sorry.

Hey, it's your first day back to school since your boyfriend

accidentally hung himself. Of course they're talking. He was not my boyfriend.

They think he was. You're like a celebrity now,

like Jackie Kennedy or Debbie Rowe.

More like Jackie.

Hey, guys. Hey, Stephie.

We're having a memorial tonight for Gus at the swimming hole.

It starts at 8:00. We'll be there.

Mia, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm making a playlist for the memorial... nothing but emo.

It's gonna be a total sob fest.

Okay, see you guys there. Bye.

"We'll be there"? I'm not gonna go to that thing.

And she didn't even know him.

I mean, she used to call him "Greaseball,"

And he hated emo. This whole thing is just weird.

Mia, people are gonna expect you to be there.

Do you want people to start treating you normally again? Yes.

Then we're going to the memorial,

and I'm borrowing your black wrap dress.

He's got the whole council in his pocket.

He's got you in his pocket, for heaven's sake.

Oh, I assure you, Pastor Dunn, I am in no one's pocket.

He owns the paper that you work for.

And if he tried to censor so much as one word of my story,

I would quit on the spot.

Now this morning you said that you knew the truth

about Darryl Van Horne.

Oh, indeed I do.

I'm listening.

Darryl Van Horne is evil.

I was hoping for something a little more... concrete.

He chills me to the bone. Well, I can't exactly print that.

What kind of a man steals property from a church?

Why has he bought up nearly every business in our community?

What could he possibly want with that kind of power?

Now the people in this town... they may have fallen

for his money, for his promises

to dig us out of the deep financial hole

that we find ourselves in,

but at what spiritual cost?

I really hear what you're saying,

but, um, that's not exactly a news story.

I'm not surprised to hear you say that.

Don't think I'm unaware of your relationship with that man. Excuse me?

And as you and your friends get publicly intoxicated and dance

in fountains with Mr. Van Horne,

each and every one of the values

that we hold sacred and precious in this town...

they are eroded by your behavior.

I think this interview's over.

He's here to destroy us, to ruin us,

to breed death and debauchery!

He must be stopped!

Wow. Four times, and I haven't even made dinner yet.

Have I told you lately that you're amazing? No. Tell me again.

You're amazing.

You're not so bad yourself. Mmm.

Hey, Roxie.

Well, if it isn't Eastwick's answer to Lois Lane.

To what do I owe this unbridled pleasure?

Well, you keep avoiding our interview,

so I thought I'd take matters into my own hands,

get a little proactive.

I believe that's called an ambush. It's just a few little questions.

I promise I'll be gentle. Okay.

But first, I'm thinking of using this one...

for the light lager

and this one for our dark beers.

Do you think people will get the joke?

What about the injunction?

Oh, I'm... a minor roadblock. I'm not worried.

If I were you, I'd be a little bit worried.

Pastor Dunn may be a self-righteous blowhard,

but he holds a lot of sway in this town.

I think he's gonna come around.

I think he just needs a little... nudge.

Okay, then.

I guess I only have one question then.

Look me in the eye.

Happily.

Tell the truth.

Who are you...

And why did you come here?

You don't want to kn ow.

Hello.

Ah, wonderful.

Wonderful. Mm-hmm. Tonight, 8:00.

Very good. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Goodbye.

Terribly sorry, but something very important has just come up.

I must reschedule our interview. Fidel will see you out.

Hey, Mrs. Gardener! Hey, Mr. Gardener.

There's something wrong with our fridge. Yeah, well, I'll buy you a new one.

Ooh! Daddy just got paid!

Would you please go get cleaned up?

'Cause I'm taking you to dinner...

I'm talking, like, tablecloths and everything.

Wow, like a real, live date. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Come on, girl, let's go.

That's weird.