The Middle

Back to school.

Time to leave the carefree memories of summer behind

and buckle down for another year.

Here we go again.

Ugh. Do we have to? I'm not ready.

Can't we go back to June,

when the whole summer was stretched out in front of us?

You got no memory for pain, Frankie.

You sure you wanna go back there?

Well, we were very hopeful when it started.

_

You smell that?

I'm telling you, something's dead in this car.

It goes away in the winter,

but it reactivates in the summer.

No, no. The grass, Mike. Fresh-cut grass.

If it's fresh-cut, you know it's not ours.

Doesn't it just take you back, though?

That's it right there.

You know, it's just that thing,

that feeling of summer that you can't describe,

you know, "this."

We should have an amazing summer, Mike.

Let's have an amazing summer.

Yes, let's, my darling. With our travel budget

of whatever's in the couch cushions,

the world is our oyster.

Ugh. It's not just about money, Mike.

I mean, don't you remember summer as a kid?

Going to drive-in movies, playing ghost in the graveyard

till your folks called you inside?

- Oh, yeah. That was a real summer. - Yeah.

I could kill a whole day

just smacking a tennis ball against the house

and lying on my back, in the yard, doing this...

Love that. Still can't do that.

Ah, it's not hard, Frankie. It's all in the thumbs.

You gotta use your thumbs.

Meanwhile, our kids were busy

using their thumbs for other things.

(Cell phones and video game beeping)

Look at this.

Unh-unh.

Come on. Turn 'em off.

You're not spending your whole summer staring at screens.

- I'm going in! - That goes for the TV, too.

Whoa! Careful!

Out.

Well, I don't see any kids zombied out all over my couch,

so my talk must've done something.

Well, don't get too excited.

I just busted them huddled in the garage,

watching the old black and white TV with the cracked screen.

Are you serious?

What is wrong with them?

I-I told them to go outside.

Oh, my gosh. You told them something,

and they didn't do it? Maybe those weren't our kids.

I don't get it.

When I was a kid, I ate supper with one foot on the floor.

I couldn't wait to get outside.

And I didn't even need any toys.

All I needed was a stick and a rock.

How do you think I got 'em out of the garage?

They really are pathetic, Mike.

All they care about is getting 100,000 coins

for Farmville or Pac-Man

or whatever it is they're playing.

I'm pretty sure they're not playing Pac-Man.

Yeah, the point is, Axl's gonna be a senior.

This might be the last summer we're all together as a family.

I just don't want them clicking it away.

We have to reactivate them,

kind of like that smelly dead thing in the car.

Ugh!

This is so pointless.

It's our summer.

I mean, they're the ones forcing us to go to school all year.

This is our time to unwind

howsoever and with whatsoever we choose, right?

Totalmundo. That's not a thing people really say, is it?

- No. - Well, I might try to start it.

I wouldn't. I know dad acted like this was his idea,

but this has mom written all over it.

If they're all of a sudden gonna start caring,

I'd appreciate a little heads-up.

Brick, what are you doing?

You didn't kill another pet, did you?

No, I don't even have a pet right now.

Do I?

I'm planting a tomato.

That's weird.

I found it in my backpack.

- Oh, that's much more normal then. - I must've left it in there

from when we were learning about photosynthesis.

Ah! That sounds like a school word, Brick.

It's summer. Leave the learning inside.

Hey, guys. Your dad and I were talking...

Ugh! Why?

And we've come up with a fun summer thing

for the whole family.

Adoption?

Just say the word.

Look, we've been watching you three,

and, uh, I gotta tell you, it's sad.

We're sad for you.

You got no clue of what a fun summer is.

And to that end, we are going to...

a drive-in!

- I get fries. - No fair.

You always call fries first

- and them mom makes us share. - I want my own fries!

No, not a drive-thru, you fools.

We're talking about a drive-in movie.

Movie! They're letting us watch a movie!

No. Stop. Nobody's going inside.

Your mom and I are taking you to a fun summer thing,

and it's only 2 bucks a car,

and it's called a drive-in movie.

Is that like the ride at Disney World

where you're actually in the movie?

We're going to Disney World?!

Nobody's going to Disney World. Nobody's in the movie.

Ugh. It's about giving you people some... this.

They have no appreciation of "this."

I don't get it.

Why would we drive somewhere to watch a movie

when we can just watch a movie here?

I-I just don't understand what we're doing.

Yeah, I'm with Sue-pid. Sounds like a waste of gas to me.

Totalmundo.

The car isn't moving.

You're-- you're-- you're sitting in, like, a parking lot.

You're not making this sound fun.

So we're not allowed to watch a movie here,

but we can watch one outside?

Do you guys get this? I-I don't get it.

There's nothing to get. Your dad and I were talking--

- I told you this was all her. - It's not all me!

Your dad and I had an insane idea together

that we could all do something

that we thought was fun when we were younger.

Oh, no. Here it comes.

More tales of life on the prairie.

Fine. You win. We'll play tennis.

And I'll stay here with my tomato.

To-mah-to.

Nobody stays. Everybody, put on your shoes and let's go.

Or you could put on your PJs.

What?

'Cause you'll be in the car.

I don't get it. Why are we still in the car?

- I thought we nixed that. - What are we even talking about?

I'm really, really confused.

Okay.

Imagine a giant iPhone that you can drive up to.

I'm listening.

So we dragged our poor victims off into the night

toward a future fond memory made just for them by...

yeah, awesome parents who care.

Oh, boy.

Ooh! Check this out.

- Yeah. Hi. I'll have a large fries and-- - Axl.

Let him order. He'll figure it out soon enough.

Look at this, you guys.

It's a triple feature-- "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,"

"Fiddler on the Roof," and "Serpico."

Mm. 2 bucks a car. It makes sense.

I've never even heard of any of those movies.

You never said they were gonna be old movies.

They're not old. They're classic.

"Classic" is code for "lame."

I mean, how could it not be?

The first one has "chitty" right in the title.

Oh, look! There's a playground up there.

And after you play on that, when the movie starts,

you come back to the car.

If I leave the car, I'm never coming back.

Hey, look. The couple in the car next to us are wrestling.

Oh.

Hey! Family night!

Axl, switch with me. I can't see behind dad.

- Pfft. - Axl, I think you're gonna really like "Serpico."

It's got Pacino in it. Remember the coach

- from "Any Given Sunday"? - Oh, yeah? Cool.

Great football movie. Oh, hey, that reminds me.

The, uh, scout from Southern called again.

I think he knows another school's after you.

- Axl, switch with me. - It's tough to pick.

I mean, East Indiana's got hotter chicks,

but Southern's are supposed to be sluttier, so...

Family night.

Dad, can you duck down when the movie starts?

Hang on. You know, Axl,

maybe we can visit both campuses again later in the summer.

- Dad. - I still can't believe we're choosing between two schools.

- I know, for Axl. - Dad, I am not gonna be able to see when I'm behind you.

(Frankie, Axl, Brick, and Mike talking at same time)

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!

- Guys, I'm trying to listen to what they're saying. - Axl, switch with me!