House of Lies

Previously on House of lies...

There's nothing going on between Marty and I.

Huh. Nothing.

Marty: I am sleeping with Tamara.

That's what I like about you, Marty.

You shoot straight.

So Kevin decides to take this job in New York

even after we promised one another that my career

would take priority.

Leave right now and spend the rest of the afternoon with me.

The dushkin twin brand.

I'm gonna start my own shop.

Julianne has offered me my own pod.

I thought you were coming with me. I am.

Look, I'm not implying that you guys don't know Carlson.

Alex: We don't just know the dude.

We're seriously tight.

Mr. pincus. Marty: We have another strategy that would

just blast the dead bolt off of fort knox.

Unfortunately, we're unable to propose it

at this time, because we've put it in front of another casino.

It's fucking Carlson, isn't it?

You cannot set up your own shop

coming off of an $80 million deal

blowing up in your face.

That Marty on the line?

Remind him

that I own his ass.

I own your ass, motherfucker!

("Midnight sun" by Isaac delusion playing)

Man: If you look at the profit projections

going into the last fiscal quarter, you'll see

that in every category, the projections were all

within the percentage point of the article.

Uh-huh.

Hey, guys, guys, I got to put you on mute for a second.

Don't say anything interesting until I get back.

There you are.

Wow, your business meetings are more boring than ours are.

Um, it's definitely-- it's different when you're there.

Everybody's naked.

I'm so sorry to make you miss that.

It's all right. You really didn't have to pick me up.

I wasn't going to leave you stranded

on the side of the road.

I could have called a tow truck.

Yes, I'm very, very sorry.

I-I-I thought I could change a flat, and...

You know what? You know, it...

That lug nut, it was very tight.

Wasn't it, though? It was tighter

than it should have been. Okay, all right.

You saw it.

I-- okay, good, thank you.

Pick you up later?

Yeah. All right.

Bye. Bye.

This is just a regular...? You got to, you got to pull it,

you got to pull it up and then in and then down and then out.

And out-- wow.

Well, thanks. It's vintage, you know.

Hey.

You know, you probably should have called a tow truck,

but I'm very glad you called me.

Me, too.

Don't, don't make me your emergency contact, though,

'cause I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.

Okay. I'm glad you called.

Okay.

Hold it. Doug: Oh, hey, Jeannie.

Look who decided to show up.

Oh, really? I got here 30 seconds after you did, Clyde.

Hey, would you look at this?

The four of us arriving at the exact same time.

What are the odds of that, huh?

I'm serious, what are the odds?

Think about it-- traffic,

got to factor in your breakfast habits,

your personal grooming, choice of clothing.

Shut the fuck up, Doug.

Out of line.

Don't high-five.

No, I'm not high-fiving that. Yeah, where did that come from?

Nowhere.

Love it when you call me into the office.

We'll... do this in privacy.

Mm-hmm, I like where it's headed.

Okay, listen, uh, I got this venture capitalist

who's about to pony up some seed money.

Okay, I'm this close to being up out this bitch.

Now, Jeannie knows but nobody else,

and I just want to keep it that... but wait, baby,

what, what about the Carlson deal?

It's not closed yet.

Oh, I'll just hand off the work to you.

I mean, he likes you a lot better

than he likes me anyway, so...

But, Marty, you're, you're spearheading the whole thing.

If you leave now, the deal could just blow up.

No, no, no, he's legally tied to galweather, okay?

Now, I guess I could use the feather in my cap,

but I can definitely survive

without it. Well, I can't.

Marty, we are this close.

We track Carlson down, we get the deal signed,

and it's done and you can ride off into the sunset.

T, you're going to be all right.

Marty, this is

my first engagement back in six years.

I need this win, baby.

Please do this for me.

What are you gonna do for me?

The unspeakable.

I guess we better find this asshole quick, huh?

Mmm!

You mean the unspeakable?

The unspeakable. Okay, the money.

That's, uh, great work, man.

Thank you, my friend, I appreciate it.

Expiration 8-14.

Do you see this, Doug? Okay, thanks.

You get your own pod and you can make

as many personal calls as you want.

I'm having my car towed.

Of course you are. Hey, um,

if you're feeling overlooked or underappreciated,

I just want you to know that's-- it's not my problem.

Pish-posh, pish-posh, Jeannie, don't even worry about it,

'cause I'm about to sell the dushkins

on a club expansion that is going

to bring so much afterwork cashish to this company...

I feel like julianne hofschraeger's gonna be

like this: "Clyde oberholt, mmm, you're a God.

You are a man amongst other smaller, tinier men."

She'll probably

offer me my own pod.

I mean, they still give those out based on merit, right?

You done?

Nah, I'm not.

Doug: No way, he "di'n't."

Stay out, man.

Yeah, I'm sorry about your, uh, car problems.

That's okay. Thank you, Doug.

No, it's okay.

You know, Sarah's always having car trouble-- always.

You know, that's part of the reason I don't like her making

that long drive all the way up from San Diego, you know.

Uh-huh. I've tried to get her to move up here,

but, uh, it's not easy, me being the only person she knows and...

Hey...

You know what I'm thinking now, uh, top of my head,

is I-I-it might be easier for her if she had,

like, an L.A. gal pal to, uh...

I don't know, sex and the city it up with.

What do you think?

I think you need fresher cultural references.

Please, Jeannie, please, please, come on,

I'm begging you. I need her here.

Oh-ho, dushkins in the house!

Talkin' 'bout the dushkins in the h-h-house!

All: Whoa!

I got us set up

in the conference room

and I have some exciting expansion ideas

that'll take the dushkin clubs fucking global.

Yeah, we really want to go

in a different direction, Clyde.

You want to do what?

Jeannie!

Join us.

What do you mean in a different...? Okay, okay, okay, okay.

So we've been thinking about what you guys said

about being the brand, right?

Good. Right, and we want

to be p. Diddy-- our own clothing line. Alcohol.

Cologne. Yeah, when we talked about being the brand,

we didn't mean to start your own clothing line. Yeah, so we took

the liberty of having a prototype made up.

Check it.

Both: Mmm.

That smells like...

It's pussy. It's what now?

I'm sorry?

We call it "snatch by dushkin."

Mmm.

You're gonna call the product snatch?

Both: By dushkin. By dushkin.

I heard you, yeah.

Dushkins.

Alex: Aah!

Marty.

Is everything okay down there?

It's pussy in a bottle, Marty.

Oh. Let me hit you with a spritz

of snatch. No, no, no.

I... no, I'm good, I'll just...

I'll get the contact snatch.