Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

You think I'm trying to lure you away from Jake?

Yes!

Matty's been acting weird lately.

- Have you noticed? - Truce. - Truce.

I had faith that Matty and I had potential to be friends.

Love is a sham!

Jealousy always had a way

of bringing out the worst in people.

Amy! I gave you my heart,

my soul, my sweatshirt!

I gave her that sweatshirt.

- Bad breakup? - 10.5 on the dick-ter scale.

Tony caught Amy with Levi at his sister's quinceanera.

Ouch. Wasn't that party over a month ago?

Clearly, the fact that it was Valentine's Day

was giving Tony PTXD--

Post traumatic ex disorder.

I hate this holiday.

V-day had divided the school into lovers and haters,

and I was a lover.

'Cause for the first time, my dad wasn't my only Valentine.

I finally had no reason to hate on hallmark

because I had a perfect boyfriend.

There was nothing to be jealous about.

I was gonna enjoy the day...

Love sucks!

As a human target.

Nice look.

I was the victim of a love-hate crime.

The price you pay for PDA.

Anyway, I need some advice.

What makes the perfect date for a Valentine?

So Jake had sent Matty over to get some covert intel.

Well, someplace close is good.

Keep it local. Got it.

And it's kind of a buzzkill if you need a translator

- to read the menu. - And not too fancy.

And very important-- The place should be quiet,

so you can talk.

I'd highly recommend Bisto's.

- What about flowers? - Flowers are great.

But not carnations or anything with baby's breath.

- Does that smell like boobs? - Gross.

Personally, I prefer tulips.

Hey, sorry I had to kiss and run.

I left something for you in my car.

What's up?

Nothing. I gotta go.

- All right. - Later.

So here's the something that I forgot.

Oh!

You didn't have to.

- I've always loved... - Love.

- Beetles? - It's a love bug.

You know, like a bug that brings...

Never mind.

So tonight...

I was thinking, uh, pick you up at about 7:00?

Does that give you enough time to get ready?

- I'm sorry. - What? Why?

The bug. It was an impulse buy.

I promise, tonight, everything will be better.

It's adorable. I love my bug.

So Matty and that freshman-- Are they dating?

Dating? No.

He's about to hook, line, and sink her.

Right. Dating is so not Matty.

Which wasn't entirely true.

We had gone on a date.

Maybe he just didn't tell you?

Nah. He'd tell me.

Besides, Valentine's Day is sappy,

and that kid does not do sappy.

I hate skanks.

And sentimentality.

Ugh, all this V-day crap is making me nauseous.

You're such a scrooge.

Scrooge hated Christmas, dip-hole.

I don't know what you're so amped up about.

You're single.

And you're mean. And single.

So tonight, I was thinking we could kick off

our carbs-only movie marathon with a classic love story--

In your honor-- Like mean girls.

As pathetic as that sounds,

I think I'm just gonna stay home.

But it's tradition.

Maybe it's a heavy flow day. I don't know.

I'm just feeling especially bitchy today.

And how is that different from every other day?

He gave you a cockroach?

It's a love bug.

I swear, Valentine's is totally racist against single people!

It's just a toy that he probably got at the car wash.

Don't try to climb into our love ghetto.

You know Jake is gonna plan something fantasmic

for you tonight.

He probably commissioned a portrait of you guys

made entirely out of skittles.

Who wants to eat their own face?

Uh, I do.

But instead I'll be planted in front of my DVR

doing shots of cyanide with you.

Not this year.

I'm going to the BHP.

The black hearts party?

What is that?

Only the event for the single and bitter!

What time are we rolling in? It shouldn't be too early,

yet it shouldn't be too late because it's a school night.

T, you might want to skip this one.

Why? Who's more single and bitter than me?

Well, besides Tony.

Trust me, you don't want to go.

- Trust me, I do. - You can't!

Ricky's going to be there.

And he's in love.

I call shenanigans.

People are talking.

Let me tell you something about Ricky Schwartz.

The only time he uses the "L" word

is for burritos and lesbian porn.

Besides, if he fell in love that fast,

then I meant nothing to him,

and that is not possible. Jenna, confirm.

This is what exes do.

They make up rumors to get into your head,

to screw with you. I'm right, right?

Right.

About Ricky.

But that rule doesn't apply to all exes.

Matty and I don't play head games.

Or did we?

Have you guys seen that girl Matty's been hanging out with?

- Yes. - Yes.

Do you think she's attractive?

- Yes. - Yes.

I guess, if you're into a lot of makeup.

What? I'm just curious

as to what she's hiding under all that.

Nobody likes a green-eyed monster.

I'm not jealous.

My friends are allowed to make new friends.

It's just that this new friend doesn't really meet

my old friend's standards.

So the new friend is super rad?

No.

Then why do you seem so jealous?

Just because someone seems jealous

doesn't mean they are.

Actually, it probably does.

And I get it.

It is not fun to feel replaced.

Ironically, Val had become a lot more insightful

since she left the guidance office.

Don't feel threatened.

Your mom and I were just being buds

when we went out for a girls night last week.

You hung out with my mom?

Really, Jenna,

it was just dinner between two friends.

But the feelings you're having are normal.

Don't you worry.

I will never put you in the backseat.

As far as I'm concerned, you got permanent shotgun.

Great.

One more thing.

Sorry.

That's not for you.

Saving that for Alok.

Lost a little bit of the "K."

But we french kiss, so he won't mind.

This one is for you.

You'll always be

my BFF--

Stands forever.

So I made the usual reservation at the Red Onion

for our Valentine's dinner.

Hate to break it to you, but I have a real date tonight.

Oh, actually it doesn't look

like you hated breaking that to me at all.

Bet mom's not doing anything tonight.

Take her out and finally have a Valentine's dinner

without your annoying kid tagging along.

Not this year, kiddo.

What a surprise!

I didn't know you were picking Jenna up today.

It's a little hard to keep track of everything

with so much on my plate.

Like what?

Like all of my events with all of my new friends.

The old friend bit.

She was posturing.

How about you?

Nope. Not much to tell.

Except that our daughter's home safe...

And I'm gonna go.

Happy Valentine's Day, Lace.

You too!