The Erlprince (Królewicz Olch)

"Who rides there so late through the night dark and drear?

The father it is, with his infant so dear;

He holdeth the boy tightly clasp'd in his arm,

He holdeth him safely, he keepeth him warm."

Warm... warm...

Where're we going?

Home.

Again?

Where's our home?

Home?

Home.

Home?

- Home. - Home?...

...I see. How old?

And nothing younger?

Just the one?

Because, actually... I prefer them younger, so...

...the end of the world is nigh?

"Preacher of the Universe", as he calls himself,

Has changed his mind, asserting that he made

A minor error and indicating a new date for the Apocalypse.

It falls in just twelve days time.

Well, What?

Just wanna hold it.

'I just wanted'. I'll keep a hold on you.

"...Tis the aged grey willows..."

Get your legs off the dashboard.

- "Oh come, thou dear infant!..." - What are you doing?

I told you to shift your legs!

"My father, my father, he seizes me fast..."

- Turn that down. - "Full sorely the Erl-King..."

- I told you to turn that down! - "...has hurt me at last..."

"The father now gallops,

with terror half wild,

He grasps in his arms

the poor shuddering child;

He reaches his courtyard

with toil and with dread,

The child in his arms

he finds motionless..."

THE ERLPRINCE

Hello.

- Ah, yes, good evening. - Yes, good evening.

- Yes, it was me who phoned. - Yes, it was me. Yes, yes.

- What can I say? - What can I say about myself?

- Well, what can I say? - Well... so... what?

- I'm experienced. - I'm experienced.

- I've been doing it for... For... - Well, for how long?

- ...for 14 years. - For 14 years.

- I like spending time in... - You like... shit.

- ...Drawing, playing with... - Drawing, playing with booky-wookies...

- Yes. - Just a moment... please.

Looking after children gives me enormous joy

and tremendous satisfaction.

It's an extraordinary, that... that...

...you watch yourself tying their Shoelaces and then, in time,

you watch the child... ...the child doing it for themselves.

Or, for instance...

You help a child wee into the toilet and then you see how

They're not scared of the toilet when they'd been frightened of it before.

Yes.

Yes. I graduated in early years education.

I've worked as an educator on...

nature camps and...

other camps. Yes, yes. School camps.

Of course.

How about...

- One of the greatest men of erudition.

In the history of humankind.

There's a competition coming up. Write that paper!

And saving life, intelligent life

If he were capable of comprehending his ideas.

But his discoveries changed the world

And everything around us.

What problem could be so difficult and so important

That this man of erudition devoted years of his life

To solving it? - Five, eight.

- 11 days until the end of the world.

- Who was he, that mysterious man?

Where did you pick it?

Perfume at two hundred a bottle.

The square root of twenty-seven. Work it out in your head.

You have to warm up.

Your mind has to start calculating and thinking.

You don't answer, you don't eat.

Hologram. The universe is a hologram.

An illusion. A tunnel between universes.

Fabulous.

Gravitational waves, ripples in the fabric of space.

Passing galaxies. Only light can squeeze through the tunnel.

Nothing else.

Fantastic.

What happened?

Transported itself.

Transported itself where?

To another world.

A better one?

Perfect.

Where did you get this?

From a perfect world.

Who from?

Who from? From someone.

Are you getting married?

Left.

- I know which one. I don't need to. - You don't know. You do need to.

Left. And give me the felt tip.

Which one?

The one you don't write with.

And not your leg.

- The square root of twenty-seven... - 519615242.

Write.

Kriskhow University gave a very precise

description of the supposed event.

An earthquake as a result of which the Earth would collapse

In a fiery cataclysm known as the big crunch.

But when the designated date passed

And the signs he had predicted failed to ensue

he was asked to explain.

He was ready with an answer to that difficult question.

Such is the will of god.

He wishes to destroy this beautiful world.

I can't accept that, which is why I'm leaving the church.

The end of the world has begun.

It's terribly hot in here.

Like that.

You never sang to me.

Yes, I did. You were little. You don't remember.

I do. You never sang to me.

Did you get it?

I did. Three times a week. Afternoons.

- I'm the best... - Childminder, that's for sure.

Aren't you going to answer it?

I'm not. It's the bank.

Have you got a temperature?

Something stung me.

Something, or someone?

A bee.

Now?

What is it?

I don't know.

A sting.

A sting.

You know what you have to wear tomorrow?

The Crown Princes are back.

And they'd like to send their warmest greetings

to their parents and friends.

Flash your arses,

And remember that, today...

- 10 days until the end of the world.

I'd like to introduce your new classmate.

Hi.

He's won numerous major school competitions and distinctions.

And, as of tomorrow, he'll also be a student at the Faculty of Physics...

Strips.

Licks.

Strips.

Bites.

Licks.

Doesn't know how to...

He'll only be coming to some of our lessons.

And he'll be doing the rest individually.

I hope you'll give him a warm reception. There'll be plenty

Of chances for that. One of them's a birthday party.

A ball. I'm inviting you all.

Shall we give out the invitations.

A ball?

- What're you coming as? - What am I coming as?

Who am I coming as?

- What? - You're turning 15.

Exactly. I'm almost 15.

And I don't want balloons, a ball and fancy dress.

Pretty.

- Who? - Who?

- Pretty. - Want to kiss her?

- What? - Scared?

- No. - I've invited her.

Mum.

I want some skates.

- Get in. - But I want some skates.

- Are you listening? - No way.

- Because? - You're here to think

And not to go tearing around getting your elbows skinned.

- You'll fall and bang your head and... - And? And what? Goodbye talent?

Give it here.

Give it to me.

Hello?

Yes.

I'll hand you over.

The bank.

- I'm not here. - Yes, you are.

Hello.

But you've already called me.

I see. All right.

When's the payment due?

No... I'll call you. All right?