House of Lies

Previously on House of Lies...

It's Kaan and the associates!

If you make an end run around the CEO

and go to the board, it's gonna look like

you're gunning for his job.

I am trying to save Teddy

from his own lousy business plan.

Wow.

I could really get used to this.

I mean, I feel the same way.

She's an Instagram

lifestyle personality.

Ugh.

Ow, ow, ow...

- Ah... - My back, my back...

Just... can we...

I can't breathe.

- Oh! - Oh...

Oh...

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck...

Fuck...!

- I'm going... - Fuck!

I'm gonna go get a bottle of water.

Do you want anything?

Every... inch

- of my body... - Uh.

Is so... depleted.

Um...

So green juice, or...?

- Yeah, I'll-I'll get you green juice. - Yeah.

Mm.

I don't know how much more of this shit I can take.

Who the fuck are you?!

- Whoa! - Like I give

a gnat's dick who you are.

- What? - You sick motherfucker,

breaking into people's apartments,

running around half-naked,

- taking the green juice, huh? - You're in my apartment!

Wait a minute! Calm down!

Yeah, yeah, now you sweatin' it, huh?

What are you talking about?

- No, you gonna be in a world of pain. - I'm...

Wait a minute! Hey!

I'm joking.

Marty, right?

What the fuck?

Hey.

Oh...

Did I wake you? I'm sorry, baby.

Oh, oh, he gets the sorry?

Oh, come on, that was funny.

Yeah, w-what part of that was funny?

I see you've been getting acquainted with my friend.

Don't you just love the way he talks?

The man's been fucking me six ways from Sunday,

but yeah, we're "friends."

Well, it's that hot yoga.

Got the old flex back in my hips.

- Ooh... - Please stop talking like that.

Thank you, hot yoga.

That's where we met.

We were in boat pose,

sweat was pouring off of us,

and Rita says, um...

What was that you said, baby?

"Cheap ass yogis.

"You know this is just about not ponying up

for air-conditioning."

Oh, I get...

Yeah, because...

- they just cheap. They cheap. - Just cheap, that's right!

- They cheap. No, I get it. - That's it!

Right, right, right, right!

I told you he'd get it.

- Yeah, he got it. - Yeah.

I almost peed on myself just listening.

Yeah.

It's not just your dad, either.

A lot of people think I'm funny.

Oh, you should try it out on the street.

Mm, you're more than that, baby.

Mm?

Come on back to bed, let me show you.

- Oh... All right. - Yeah, take it back in there.

Come on.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

All right, good night, Dad.

Good night, son.

Yeah, good night, Groucho.

Come on.

I'll show you downward dog.

Jesus.

"Shoot for the moon, but gently:

"You don't want a star caught in the crossfire.

Hey, Klare?

Mm-hmm?

What do you say we, uh...

put the phone down for a second?

Mm-hmm.

Far away look.

From what I'm hearing,

they're weeks, possibly days away

from submitting to the FDA.

Fucking Novax.

Their only strategy is follow the fucking leader.

"Davis/Dexter's top seller is an arthritis drug.

Lightbulb! Let's make an arthritis drug."

People know and trust Keltroxin.

Novax's new drug isn't gonna change that.

Yeah, if they substantially reduce their price point,

we might get dinged,

and even if they end up leapfrogging us...

You think Novax is gonna leapfrog us?

No.

- No... - Our revenues

are currently $6 billion dollars more than theirs.

Yeah, sorry, that's not what I meant.

I-I'm attempting to reassure you.

I'm doing a very bad job.

What I mean is, even if

Novax leapfrogs us, which is unlikely,

no one can justifiably lay that at your feet,

as long as we continue to innovate our product line.

Hello?

Oh, and when we greet Teddy,

I assume it's in an order

commensurate with our status within the firm,

- so it'll go Marty, then me... - No.

And-and... I am so sorry.

What's your name again, sport?

Ha, ha, ha...-

We both know why you got the promotion, Clyde.

Marty's tougher on me because he cares more.

Oh, McFly.

Are you the CMO

or a fucking toddler?

Do you want me to hold your widdle hand through this?

Who spit on Teddy's crumpet?

He's taking the Novax news hard.

And I suppose you poured gasoline on the fire.

Oh, no, is gasoline an accelerant?

Jeannie, I think that you are underestimating

just how big of a chicken shit your boy Teddy is.

That is why we are softening the target.

Are you forgetting how much afterwork is gonna land

in your lap when Davis/Dexter shifts

to a research-based paradigm?

Are you forgetting that if he doesn't bite,

we're not gonna have any fucking afterwork?

What are you doing?

I'm looking for your clit.

- Oh... - I think it's...

I get it, 'cause I'm a pussy.

Well, good luck finding that.

Am I right, fellas?

Doug, do you not know where the clit is?

Like I give a shit.

Listen, I know

we're not undeniable yet, Marty,

but no risk, no reward.

Right?

- Who's buzzing? - Oh, that's me.

Oh, Klare with a "K,"

- it's a new post. - Oh.

So you set alerts for those now?

She really makes me think.

- Yeah. - She's like...

Buddha, if Buddha's observations

came with sexy shots of himself

cresting Runyon Canyon in booty shorts.

I feel like Buddha really dropped the ball on that.

Probably why he has, like, a hundred Insta-followers.

- That's not that many. - It's so few.

He could have way more; he's Buddha.

It's so good.

"Magic breathes in she who loves herself

"with her entire heart and soul.

There are not that many hashtags.

Hi.

- I can come back. - No, no, no.

We are leaving.

Gentlemen.

Marty, "exiting one room

"necessarily leads to entering another.

Okay, okay. Hilarious.

Hi.

Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

Uh... um...

- I need to tell you something. - 'Kay.

Uh...

Oh, my God. Are you breaking up with me?

No. No, no, no.

No, I'm not.

I... no.

Okay, then what?

I filed a sexual harassment claim against you.