Zombie Bro

This is my family.

This is my dad, Rob. He's a cop. He s also a jerk.

This is mum, Marina. She s a nurse, but dad says it doesn't

count because she's not a doctor.

That s me. Francine, Frankie, Fran, Frangipani and...

And that's Teddy. Oh yeah, he's a zombie.

It all started one day last year

when Teddy came home a little sick.

I don t know how or where he got it from, but within three days

he was a full on zombie.

It s not that hard you know.

I go to school, Ma and Pa go to work and Teddy

gets locked up in the chamber.

It s pretty sweet if you ask me.

Pass the salt?

Hmm?

What did you say?

I said salt, Frank.

Geez Rob, say please. Even the mute kids in hospital say it.

What do you mean? They can't say it.

They can say it.

They don't necessarily say-say it, but they can do this.

Come on Teddy, show Pa with me.

Good boy!

Want some salt, Teddy?

You're so cute. You trying to scare me like that? Bop.

That's my boy.

How was school today Fran?

Yeah, good.

There's this dance coming up that will be pretty cool.

Pretty lame.

Yeah... pretty lame, I guess. That's all really.

How was your day Teddy?

Rargh.

Rargh. So pretty chilled, hey?

Well, today, I arrested two guys for B & E.

Cool.

Don't talk with your mouth full. It's disgusting.

You're so funny, Teddy.

You're so impressive, baby.

No you are.

You are.

No, you are.

You are. You are.

Teddy? You ever think Dad doesn t like you?

Rargh.

Yeah, stupid idea. You're right.

Teddy, I really miss hanging out with you at school, but there's

this new girl - her name is Calissa. She's so cool.

She s got nice hair, those dimpley-things and I think she

must play netball. She's awesome bro.

Anyway I was thinking of asking her to be my best friend.

What do you think?

Rargh.

Nah. I can t ask Dad about it.

He wouldn't know how to make friends.

Rargh.

I thought so. I ll let you know how it goes.

Man you have to practice.

You used to be so good at doing that.

I love you, bro.

Hey, Teddy, have you seen my school shirt?

Rargh.

I've got it here.

What happened?

Sorry honey, I put it in with Teddy's shirts again.

I forgot blood stains.

Yep.

Teddy stop being such a messy eater.

Can t we get him a bib or something?

No.

But why?

No.

Why not?

Because I said so.

Because I said so.

What did you say?

Okay, go go go. Francine, get ready. Put your shirt on.

Get your bag.

Rob, drink that coffee. Get your lunchbox.

And Teddy, finish that steak.

I love you.

I love you more.

No, I love you more.

I love you more than the time you said you loved me more.

That was just then.

I know. Bye baby.

Bye.

There he goes.

So Ma, there's this new girl at school that I really like and I

wanna ask her to be my best friend.

What do I do?

Oh.

I m not very good at that sort of thing, Fran. You should ask

your father. He's very outgoing.

But I am asking you.

Well then, when I was young,

it was a bit easier to make friends.

Girls either liked you or didn't like you.

But now with the internet...

you have to be very careful who you hang out with Fran.

If someone doesn't like you,

they hate you, they can make your life living hell.

People can say anything online and it can really take its toll

on girls like you.

Sorry, I'm not very helpful.

Just be yourself and she will adore you.

Also on a side note, you might want to stay undercover today.

Magpies love steak juice.

Good luck.

Bye mum.

Hey Frankenstein, nice shirt you got on.

Oh thanks.

I was joking.

Ooh.

Bet you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yeah, why don't you go back to Indo-laysia?

Butch, that's racist.

So?

That's offensive to me.

Oh. Sorry Brooklyn.

That's okay man.

And that's not even a country.

What did you say?

Keep it together man. Keep it together.

Haven't got your brother here to protect you anymore, huh?

Yeah, where's Teddy when you need him?

Not here.

Guess what Frankenstein?

What?

I don't like...

You!

She screams like a girl.

She is one. What's your point?

How about you both get lost or

I ll tell Ms Green what I just saw.

They're bullies. Don t listen to them Frankie.

Hey, I like your pink shirt.

Really?

Yeah, pink is one of my favorite colors.

Mine too.

Something smells.

You stink!

Oh, no, it's my shirt. Beef juice.

What?

Yeah. Ma says I've got to stay undercover, otherwise I might

get attacked by magpies.

Cool. You wanna try?

Ugh. Ow. Ah. Ooh that tickles. Magpies get off me.

Stupid Magpies.

That was awesome, Frankie. Are you okay?

Come on.

Okay, so your homework for the weekend is to write a poem on

something that you're passionate about.

So that might be horses or ponies or...

The Mexican Cartels smuggling

contraband across the American border.

Only to be caught and permanently thrown in jail.

Or dolphins or unicorns,

or the dark history of the Belanglo State Forest.

Or whales maybe? Cows? Cricket? Who likes cricket?

How was your day?

What the?

You're lucky I brought a towel.

We've just had these seats cleaned.

Ma have you seen my homework?

I don't know honey. Ask Teddy.

Teddy, have you seen my homework?

Teddy, what have you done?

That was the best homework I've ever done!

Pa, Teddy ate my homework.

Oh good one. Like I haven t heard that before.

Pa! Seriously, he ate it.

Frank, what have I said about lying?

I'm not lying. It's a poem, Pa, like the best one

I've ever written.

Oh Teddy ate your homework.

Yes!

Teddy!

Where's your proof Shakespeare? Chamber, now.

You know the rules. This is what happens when you lie.

Why'd you do that Teddy? Now dad thinks I'm a liar and it was

seriously the best poem I had ever written.

You can't repeat that kind of genius. It was like...

Uh, I can't remember. You ate it all.

I'm sorry, Teddy. You must have been really hungry, huh?

Rargh.

Oh, Calissa? Well I think we are becoming best friends.

I don't know though,

the only best friend I've ever had is you and you're family.

But Teddy, I've never stared at someone for so long before.

I timed it.

Forty-three seconds. Do you think we'll be forever friends?

Rargh.

I think so too. I made her a friendship bracelet just in

case, I'm going to give it to her at the dance.

Rargh.