Robot Chicken

It's alive!

I, Kratos, the God of War,

feed the Blades of Chaos with the blood orbs of your souls!

Quickly, Kratos, pleasure your lovers and receive a bounty of blood orbs.

Uh... one of them's a dude.

What's the problem? You're in Greece.

I'm not sleeping with a dude!

Surely you would at least let him watch if I offered you 1,000 blood orbs.

The Blades of Chaos are thirsty.

I could not turn that down.

Then let's make it 1,500 and he gets to play with your balls.

What do you think I am?

We've already established what you are.

Now we're just negotiating.

Oh, I see what you did there. Very smug and demeaning.

I'm just gonna throw this out there- 2,000 blood orbs.

Anything goes.

All right.

You're not gonna watch, are you?

Only as long as I need to.

Eh, nah.

Sweetie, I'm home.

Honey?

Sharon, what happened?

- Oh, good. You're awake. - Who's there?

Don't you know?

Oh, no, that's right, you wouldn't know my voice, would you?

'Cause you never even heard me scream.

Now you remember me?

Not so fast!

Look, I don't know what you want.

What I want? I want my life back, you son of a bitch!

Now sit down.

Have a bite.

I'm not- I'm not hungry.

And I'm not asking.

This is what you wanted, right?

Uh-huh.

A nice piece of fish?

I guess I wasn't big enough for you, was I?

So you just take and you take and you take

and you don't care who you hurt along the way.

Look what you did to me!

I died that day!

But th-th-that was just this morning.

Take a fucking bite.

Mmm. Good, huh?

Sharon!

At least the sharks make it quick.

You can't blame 'em 'cause you feel no pain.

But you- you don't even have the stones to finish what you started.

That's where you're wrong.

Ow! Fuck!

Hello! Welcome to my pipe store, sir!

Hey!

You're the white rap kid from 90210!

You're Brian Austin Green, right?

Well, I used to be an actor, but now I'm following my true love- Pipes!

Oh, yeah!

Now that sign makes a lot more sense!

Now, can I help you find a pipe?

Hey, say, didn't you used to date Megan Fox?

That was a long time ago.

What happened?

I told you, man- pipes are my one true love.

I need a box to ship some antiques.

I'm sure I can help you with that.

Hey, you're Megan Fox, the actress.

Former actress.

Boxes are my life now.

Didn't you used to date that, uh, Austin Greenbriar or whoever?

Brian Austin Green, yeah.

But these days, boxes are my one true love.

Excuse me, miss, do you have any boxes that would fit...

my heart?

Well, I know I'm the third wheel!

You mean all this time, you were running B.A.G. Pipes next door?

You're the owner of Fox's Boxes?

I guess, that some things are just meant to be.

# And all this time, I never #

# saw the lighthouse on your heart #

And together, they formed the most successful pipe-shipping company

in the United States.

Yeah, well, that ends the 46th and final season of "Masterpiece Theatre. "

Toward the end, I became very confused about what this show was trying to accomplish,

and quite honestly, PBS viewers grew outraged their pledge money was funding it.

I'm not sure what I'll do with my career in the months and years to come,

but I can guarantee you I won't be book-ending tales

about Brian Austin Green running a fucking pipe store.

Oh, did I go off-script?

Did I ruin your precious take, you insufferable prick?

Brian Austin Green can swing from my balls.

Get a good grip, Brian!

You've destroyed "Masterpiece Theatre"!

You fucking destroyed it!

So, uh, we still have a lot of those tote bags left.

You killed me, Billy!

One day, my son, all this will belong to you!

What's this?

It must be a sign from the gods!

They are showing us favor!

Ooh- that's a little warm.

Father!

Why? Why? Wh-y-y-y?!

Hey, check it out, baby!

You've got an admirer.

Oh, wow. That's great.

What are you doing?

Get over there and talk to her!

Haven't you noticed she looks exactly like me, but in drag?