House of Lies

Previously on House of Lies...

U.S. national bank has requested

a sit-down with a team headed

specifically by you. Ah.

I mean, I don't have to tell you how valued you are here at galweather.

You are one of our stars.

My God. I have a 94% match

with a shy Sarah.

Doug. That's your match?

When I'm through with the job, I'm staring at a boatload of cash.

And what happens when you leave galweather?

If you ever leave?

What's that supposed to mean?

And you met your husband.

Yes, Kevin. He's amazing.

He's smart.

I'm a... I'm a lucky girl.

To think that your boss

tried to talk me out of hiring you.

Um...

My-my boss what?

Enlightened leadership.

Team enhancement.

These are the hallmarks

of the apex program.

Now, during our stay here,

we are going to be hearing

from some of the brightest minds,

the most forward thinkers,

leaders in the field

of cutting-edge corporate innovation.

Simply put, this weekend is a game-changer.

The apex institute.

Galweather stearn's latest attempt

at distancing itself

from its sordid past.

So we pay

these assholes a fuck-ton

of our hard-fleeced money

so they can sell us the same old antiquated bullshit

about team building and leadership skills,

repackaged as the future in corporate ingenuity.

It's all part of the "new ethics."

Spearheaded by this woman.

Julianne hofschraeger.

That wolf in Gucci clothing

that tried to Judas me

on the U.S. national bank consult.

Now, I can either stir up a shit storm

of epic proportions over this, or...

I can just sit back

and smile and nod,

collect my riches,

while she tries to convince us

that we've entered into an era

of new values based leadership.

Tallyho!

It is a new era

at galweather stern.

An era of responsible,

values based leadership.

A time for us not simply to survive,

but to thrive.

As a family.

All right, guess we gotta

do this bullshit. Hey.

Come on. Let's go get the boy wonder.

I was wondering if you were gonna show up.

Well, you can stop wondering.

You okay?

Do you really want to hear about it?

I didn't think so.

Am I bleeding? Are you all right?

Feel like... Punched you in the face.

- Went right in the face. - Yeah! Oh, God, yeah!

Oh... my God.

Yeah, okay, there is it.

That's...

What is that?

He is definitely masturbating.

What, with a split personality?

Maybe... Sounds like...

Doug? Oh, Doug.

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug? Doug! Okay, what?

Jesus Christ.

How the fuck did you get this room?

I, um, house-sat for Pam the events coordinator

last weekend. Who cares, who cares about the room, okay?

What? Is your girlfriend here?

Doug does not have a girlfriend.

Yeah, I do.

Sarah. I met her in San Diego. Marty,

I talk about her all the time.

It just doesn't ring a bell.

So she's here?

Mm-hmm. Well, let's meet it.

"It"? Her... she... is, um...

No way.

: No way.

She is...

She's indisposed at the moment.

Another time. We have no problem waiting.

I don't know. Well, he has a sitting area.

An actual fucking sitting area... Okay. No. Hey, Jeannie.

Hey, hey! No!

Guys! No! I don't...

Oh. Hey.

Okay. Shut the fuck up.

Hi.

This is the pod. Yeah.

This is great.

Finally get to meet the pod. Yeah.

Right.

Not at all awkward.

To do that. I'm sorry. Um...

Yeah, you know what? Um...

This is Marty, and Clyde.

I'm Clyde. It's very nice to meet you. Oh!

Oh! Oh, my goodness.

That's a weird style got a towel on.

Of shaking hands. And, um, Jeannie,

of course. Jeannie.

Always outside our door when we've had sex.

Does feel like that, doesn't it?

How does that work? It's...

So... So. So...

Why don't you get scrubbed up

and let's go sit in the stupid-ass lotus position?

Yeah. I will. I'm coming.

Right behind you.

I heard it as I was saying it.

I heard it as well.

Um... Uh...

So... oh, yes. Yes. Very nice

to meet all of you. It was so nice

to meet you, Sarah. Okay, yeah, we covered that, Clyde.

And, Doug? Yeah?

You sound like a foghorn when you come.

Go.

Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

Hee-haw... Get off of me. Fuck you.

Like if the queen Mary got a donkey

stuffed into its foghorn.

Well, she wants to fuck you.

Hmm? No...

Hmm? No.

Oh, okay.

Okay, hello, everyone.

Or should I say...

"Na-mayste."

Nah, I wouldn't say Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late. Had to change the sheets,

if you know what I mean.

This is exciting, isn't it?

Dr. day is a God

in the field of mindful meditation.

The man doesn't get out of bed

for less than six figures.

Ooh, he sounds great.

He sounds lazy.

So... head on out.

We're gonna meditate! "Na-mayste."

Yes. "Na-mayste." "Na-mayste."

Oh, hey,

Marty, can I...?

Just for a sec, just for a sec.

So, um...

I wanted to, uh, check in,

see how everything is going with brynn

and U.S. national.

Great. Yeah, I think brynn is...

Very satisfied. Great.

Were there some concerns?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Honestly, I was just, I was just checking in.

I'm sure you're gonna

knock it out of the park for us.

Well, thank you for that vote of confidence.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, wait! Wait, wait.

Really exciting news.

We dug deep in the coffers and we were able to get

Malcolm gladwell.

No! Seriously.

Wow. He is going to fly in this afternoon

to speak to the partners

about choice and happiness. That is awesome.

Fuckin' a, huh? Right.

It's great. Yeah, it's unbelievable.

I wish I could be here for it.

Do you have someplace more important that you have to be?

Well, not... Look, my kid...

It's performing arts day at his school,

and I gotta... In Los Angeles?

Yeah. Wh...

I mean, th-that's a

two hour drive each way.

Uh, if I'm lucky.

I mean, it is Los Angeles, you know.