Peter and Vandy

I love you.

You do?

I do.

Well good. I love you too.

But then you've known that for a few hours now.

I've never been here before. This is great.

Yeah, isn't it?

Winter picnic.

Yeah. There's cheese and crackers there if you want.

Awesome. This is so great. Thank you so much.

No, thank you's aren't necessary. Should we toast?

Um, do you mind if I toast?

Love it if you toasted.

There's some things I want to get off my chest.

To the greatest person I've ever met?

Wow, that sounded stupid.

Well the sentiment still stands. I think you're great, and I am very glad that we meet.

These past couple weeks have been -

Three weeks.

Three weeks. Yeah. It's just been great getting to know you.

You too.

And... I love you.

You don't have to say anything back.

Okay.

Okay...

Cheers.

Cheers.

Is this a good wine?

It is, actually.

Yeah you can tell.

**

Are you watching this?

Why?

You're the one that - you wanted - you're the one that wanted to watch this.

I know

It's interesting! I mean imagine what would the Bronx be like if they didn't -

God! Ow!

That didn't hurt, you liar.

It was your idea, what do you, what do you want?

Well, I have a lot of ideas.

No.

How can you say no?

I don't know. I'm not in the mood.

It's fine.

No I kind of in the mood now. I'm kind of in the mood.

Well, that's great.

Why are you being cross?

I'm not being cross. I'm watching the show.

You know. You know what I mean. Would you be interested in some other things?

Maybe.

Let's see if we can get you there.

Well I'm not just a switch that you can turn on and off. Okay?

I'm a human and I have feelings.

**

Thanks pal.

Have a good day.

You too man.

**

Is anybody sitting here?

No.

You ever heard of this brand of ginger ale?

No I haven't.

Probably costs two dollars for a case of it.

Exactly.

Well it tastes fine.

I'm Peter.

Hi Peter.

But uh, just one last note on this guy.

You know how he does a little salad on the side of the chicken

and the rice like you have there?

Yeah?

Well I started, he'll, you can get instead of the fried rice,

he'll put a bed of salad with the chicken on top for ya.

So you get a salad with grilled chicken for $3.50.

That's Good to know.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean you can continue to eat the, all that fried stuff,

but, if you're interested in something a little more healthy, less fattening,

uh, he'll uh, he'll make it for just salad for ya.

How come you're having it with rice?

I'm in training. So I'm carboloading.

Well what are you in training for?

Uh a rice eating competition.

Good luck.

No, I'm just in a hungry man kind of a mood today.

Like one of those lumberjacks from the frozen dinner commercials?

Yeah. I see you're the same way. Lumber "Jill."

I'm sorry, I just forgot your name.

Jill.

Right. I'm Jack. Uh no but um I told you before I'm um Peter.

I'm Vandy.

Vandy? Are you being serious this time?

Yeah.

No that's a cool name. I've never heard that name. Vandy.

I was just uh joking about the rice and everything.

I'm aware.

I don't know what I was saying. That was, sorry.

No but the uh chicken and rice is actually pretty healthy too. But yeah.

That guy is nice. At the cart.

Sure is.

So do you work around here?

No, I'm just here for jury duty.

Oh well, hey I don't know what your schedule is but uh maybe we could maybe the two of us

What's up man

Hey Gary.

What's going on. Is the lunch guy here? Did you get my salad?

Yeah uh, this is Gary, we work together. This is Vandy.

Whaty?

Vandy.

Hi Vandy.

Um well, I have to go. It was nice meeting both of you.

You too Vandy.

Well you know, maybe I'll see you around.

So long.

What the fuck.

What? Did you know her?

No.

My bad.

Here's your fucking salad man.

**

Um, maybe you should go back to your apartment.

Yeah. Yeah. I think.

I think I'm not ready for you to stay here.

Okay, yeah.

Do you want me to set up the couch?

Do you want to do that?

Uh, this is stupid.

No I mean I can, I can take a cab.

Okay.

Well no, do you mind if I stay on the couch?

I think that maybe it could be a good idea.

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

I'm starving. You hungry?

Little bit.

Hey. Let's go to new Vietnamese place we keep saying we're going to try.

Uh...

You said you wanted to go.

I don't really feel like putting my shoes on and everything.

Okay.

What do you feel like?

I'm not that hungry why don't you uh look go look through the menus and choose.

You feel like Chinese?

Whatever. You choose.

I don't even know if I want Chinese.

Have we ordered form this Thai place?

Yeah. That's the one where you said the Pad Thai tasted like Vagina.

That wasn't this place. And I didn't say it tasted like Vagina.

I said this Pad That tastes like "Poon Thai."

Pick a place Peter.

Fuck it! Chinese. Chinese good with you?

Fine.

Well what would you rather have?

I just said Chinese was fine.

Alright. So we'll get Sesame chicken white meat only, and, um, do you want Lo Mein?

Anything.

It's too much starch. You want a shrimp dish?

Peter. Whatever.

Well you're not helping me.

Just pick two dishes.

Fine. I'll get the eggplant. Like I wanted.

Fine.

I'll just have some of the chicken.

Well I'm not going to order a whole eggplant for myself.

Get it, you can have left over's tomorrow.

Eggplant sucks the next day. It's not even that good the first day.

Fuck it. Let's go to the Vietnamese place.

I don't feel like going out.

Come on, I don't want take out.

I'm settled in now.

Come on. I'm going to kill you.

Go get my coat.

Oh remind me to pick up some oil soap on the way home.

Are we breaking in a new baseball glove?

No. I'm breaking in a new purse.

What? Are you - really?

Yeah. Sometimes you want them to look not so new.

That's so cool. Do you put it under your mattress?

What?

Well that's what you do with baseball gloves.

Thank you very much.

Do you tie it up with string or?

That's what you do with a baseball glove?

Yes, you tie it up with string and put a baseball inside and you rub it down.

You don't, you don't put a baseball inside?

Are you okay?

Just had a little aftertaste of vagina.

Sorry. Here try it.

Try it?

Come on. Just smell it then. Just experiment, loosen up.

No I don't want your "Poon Thai."

Okay. Ew it got on me.

Exactly. This Pad Thai tastes like "Poon Thai."

Can I have some of yours?

You're going to keep eating it?

Hey

Hey what's up man.

Keith

No no, hey Keith.

You had that look on your face like maybe you didn't remember my name.

No no no, not at all.