As Luck Would Have It

Ugh. Good Lord.

Is this thing working?

Oh. Yes.

I think I have it now.

Hoo! Okay then.

Hello, hello!

My name is Gabbi Luck and I just want to say danke,

merci, grazie, mahalo, in any language.

Thank you for joining me today.

I'm coming to you live from social media

with a little show that I like to call,

As Luck Would Have It.

Now, from what I understand,

these podcasts are a terrific way

to throw out ideas, be them old or new,

receive meaningful feedback from listeners,

and try to truly get to the heart

of the complicated subjects

we are forced to deal with every day.

And I'm still pretty new to all this, you know,

very much a T-Rex when it comes to technology.

Is that your mom?

But stick with me and I'll give you the ABCs on the 187s.

And that is not a highway in California,

in case you were wondering.

187 is the penal code that defines the crime of murder

as the unlawful killing of a human being

with malice aforethought,

which is just a fancy way of saying,

"I killed you, dummy,

and I thought about it a whole lot before I did it."

She's pretty funny.

Ugh, yeah, she's a riot.

So now you're probably asking yourself,

"Well, Gabbi, what makes you such a gosh-darn expert?"

And I would say, "First of all, call me Ms. Luck.

And until last year,

I was the Dean of Criminology at Whitmore College.

So you could say I know, you know,

more than a little about lawlessness

and the study of deviant human behavior.

I am, as my beautiful daughter,

Lisa, would call it, book smart.

This is getting good.

Eyes on the road, Anderson.

She happens to be a police detective.

And leans pretty heavily on her street smarts,

you know, draws from her gut, her instinct.

Which, you know, don't get me wrong,

that's very important.

But, you know, I always tell her,

"I love you, baby,

but would it kill you to take a step back a minute for..."

Hey, I was enjoying that.

Yeah, a little too much.

Eyes on the... - Road.

Whatever you say, partner.

What are you smiling at?

What?

We just solved our first case together.

Should I be sulking? - Come on, Anderson.

It was just a simple B and E.

And that guy was just kicked out of the house

by his wife a few days ago.

It's just a layup.

Layups count, too.

Those points go on the board.

Yeah, they do.

But layups don't make careers, three-pointers do.

Don't sweat it, Luck.

I'm sure we'll get our share shots

outside the paint.

Anderson and Luck, just got a call on a robbery, corner of 5th and Grand.

Are you still in the area?

We are. Go ahead.

Suspect is a White male wearing black jeans,

black hoodie.

Copy that. We're en route.

There he is.

I'm too old for this.

Police, stop!

Door.

I can't take much more of this.

Come on. Let's go around.

Dammit!

Hey, don't come near me! You stay away!

If you wanted to be alone so bad,

why'd you rob that store?

Yeah, well, I'll, uh... I'll jump.

I swear to God, I'll jump.

Come on. You don't wanna do that.

Of course he doesn't wanna do that.

Don't threaten us. If you're gonna jump, then jump.

And I'm serious. - And he might be, too.

I am. Uh, I'll jump. I mean it.

He's not gonna jump.

You don't know that.

She doesn't know that.

Shut up, you low-life!

And look, if you're gonna jump,

then it'll help the taxpayers save some money on a trial.

Oh, what if he lands on us or something?

He's not going to jump, Anderson.

You don't... you're willing to take that risk?

Clearly! - I'm not.

Hey, hey! Forget it.

I give up, okay? So arrest me already.

Wise decision.

Put your hands behind your back.

This way.

Learned that soft touch of yours from your mother or what?

Oh, whatever.

Gabbi would've talked this guy to death.

I call that a slam dunk.

Ooh, well...

was that a gorgeous day for a walk or what?

Oh, I'm so glad you could join me, Gabbi.

I'm glad you asked.

There's a piece of chocolate cheesecake

residing in my fridge

that I got my designs off for later.

So I'm more than happy to burn a few calories with you.

Oh, and I do so enjoy our talks.

Me, too. - Uh-hmm.

How's Lisa? - Hmm.

She lets me know what she wants me to know,

little else, always talking about,

"Give me space. I need space." Ugh.

I gave her space in my belly for nine months.

Well, you know, you work with her, Barbara.

You tell me how she is.

Well, you know I'm just a clerk there.

And I know you keep your eye on everything

from behind that desk.

Is she still seeing a shrink?

She wouldn't if she had the choice.

And it says here

you took on a new partner recently.

Yeah. - How's it going?

Fine, I guess.

It's too soon to tell.

Any new excessive incidences?

Well, if there were, wouldn't it be in that file?

And I think the word "excessive" is a little excessive.

The perp didn't have a weapon

and you roughed him up pretty good.

I pushed the jerk around, no big deal.

And you should've seen what he's done

to his wife's face, now that, Doc, was rough.

Your job is tough, I understand that.

No, you don't.

Not really.

And you sound just like my mother.

All of her experiences are theoretical, too.

I mean, she has no idea what it's like

to handle these cases out in the streets.

She thinks just because I taught school before

rather than chasing down fools

that I have nothing to offer on the subject.

Oh, we all have something to offer.

And doesn't that just get harder to prove the older you get.

So I'm guessing that retirement isn't all peaches and cream?

Tedious is the word, Barbara.

Tedious.

And I mean, I... I'm older, I get it,

but it's not like I'm dead.

I still wanna make an input on the world in some way

instead of walking around.

The woman is bored.

And unfortunately for me,

she just has more than enough time

to stick her nose in my life.

- And how does that make you feel? - Aggravated.

I feel aggravated.

Stressed out.

I mean, Doc, she's a grown adult.

Shouldn't she have more hobbies in life

than meddling in mine?

That's why I started doing my own podcast.

You did? - Uh-hmm.

Just a few months in,

still finding my voice, as they say.

How is it? Is it therapeutic?

I really think it will be.

Uh, I mean, I know.

I know it's a younger person's game,

but a criminology professor

has a very unique way of looking at crime.

You know, I think that's fantastic, Gabbi,

and so many people would wanna hear

what you have to say on the topic.

Oh, yeah?

Try telling my daughter that.

I mean, it's not like I just go around

asking her a ton of questions

about her life and her past.

Do you ever think maybe that's what she wants you to do?

Not about everything, trust me.

And now, she has this new kind of podcast

dealing with crime and punishment.