Father Christmas

Whoa, m'deers!

Stop!

Hooray - home again!

Gorr...blooming feet are frozen.

Alright, alright!

There you are m'deers.

That's it for another blooming year!

Aah, yeah nice cup of tea.

There you go.

Let's give it a little bit of a...

of the old...ahh

Aaah...yes that's better.

Blocks of blooming...i...

ice!

Ooh, ah bliss!

Oh, I know what you're thinking

Don't know what he's blooming well moaning about!

Life of Reilly!

Bed of blooming roses!

Wonder what he does with the other three hundred and sixty-four days!?

Well, I'll let you into a big blooming secret!

For a start, there's the reindeer to see to every day.

Then there's the garden.

Then my blooming veggy patch.

Housework...

shopping...

in fact, last year i was so blooming fed up with it all I decided to do something about it.

A blooming good holiday, that's what I need.

But where?

Italy!

Greece.

Or Ireland, maybe.

Holland!

Canada, definitely.

Er, or Germany.

Tunisia...

Switzerland...

France!

France. That's it!

Oi!

Land of culture and civilisation.

Food!

Wine!

Sun!

Camping!

Mmmm...Perhaps not.

Ha ha haa.

A blooming genius, that's what I am!

Mmm, hmm, now a bit of four-be-two...

ten panels of...yes.

Down the old do-it-yourself...

shouldn't take more than, well...

Blooming shoddy...

blooming bent...

blooming nails!

Ouch!

Vous vous etes

ils...er...sont

Nous...er...avons

un...deux...trois!

Lecon Dix: Repetez apres moi...

La plume de ma tante.

You know what you can do with your blooming 'Tante' love!

Blooming 'finis'!

Thank goodness.

Ah. Tres bon, n'est ce pas?

Oi! Mind the blooming paint!

Right then.

Socks, vests, shirts, trousers, hats.

Sugar, cocoa, salt, pepper, swimming gear, watercolours, guide books, phrase book.

Blooming animals.

Aah, La belle blooming France.

Marvellous!

Suppose I ought to do some shopping though.

Wish I didn't look so like a blooming foreigner.

That's better! More French.

Not so blooming conspicuous.

Eh M'sieur.

Merci, me old mate.

Right...

I'm going to have a bash at everything going.

Oooh.

No chips, mate?

Chips? Les frites!?

Sacre bleu! Vous plaisantez, non, Monsieur?

I think that means no blooming chips.

How about ketchup, then?

Dis-doncs, les Anglais, urgh!

H.P. sauce?

No?

Non Monsieur.

Just have to make the best of it then, I suppose.

Ooo.

M'sieur...

cafe creme,

et l'addition.

Crumbs!

Blooming expensive!

Oh no! Oh, no.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

Where are the alka-whatsits?

The dio-thingy?

Oooh aaah!

Oh, out of me blooming way cows!

Better get to a proper camping ground.

Oh proper toilets for a start!

Crumbs!

Ooooh!

Must be the blooming water.

Perhaps a bit of breakfast.

Whose are they?

That old bloke looks like Father Christmas

Crumbs! Time to move on.

Now...

Where?

Hmm...let me see now.

Pure water...

Scotland!

Of course!

The best water in the world.

Crumbs...what a place!

Morning.

Blooming cold though.

Blooming marvellous!

Ooh, just the job!

Hey mum! Its Santa Claus!

Och! Awa' wi' ye!

Time to move on again, I suppose.

Crumbs! It's not raining!

Aaaarh!

It's freezing!

Crumbs!

Help!

Shark!

Shaaaarrrks!

Rain.

Cold.

Sharks.

What a blooming country!

Enough's enough.

Somewhere hot.

Hmm, of course!

Las Vegas!

Blooming obvious really!

Hmm, not a bad little hotel.

Have a nice day, Sir.

Nice little room.

Yawn.

A swim.

That's it for today.

Time for a little snack, I think.

Blooming marvellous!

Quite good little puds, too!

Better smarten myself up for the evening.

Now where are we, there we go.

Not bad out of a blooming cracker!

Oh.

Hang on a minute.

Re-anne a plume madam et monsier! Right.

There we go.

No more bets.

Too blooming right mate!

Nothing left to blooming well play with!

Oh dear, too blooming old for all this.

Bedtime I think.

Here we go again.

Ta.

Four!

Look at that then!

Hey mom, is that fat guy Santa Claus?

Time to be off again.