Younger

That's the watch I'm gonna buy Thad.

It's exactly what he wants.

This feels like a guilt gift.

You might as well get it engraved

with a sketch of Bjornberg's penis.

Thad never found out about Bjornberg,

and there's certainly no point in telling him now.

I mean, why would I want to hurt him like that?

I don't know,

that thing about how honesty in a relationship creates intimacy?

One woman's honesty is another woman's over sharing.

Fine.

I'm just saying expensive jewelry

doesn't excuse an affair.

And in the end, after all the tears and the fights,

you know what you're left with?

Bad credit and a piece of jewelry

with almost no resale value

that reminds you of someone you hate.

Where are you skanks?

We're on our way, you ho.

Why do you talk to each other like that?

Is that Liza?

Uh, yeah.

Okay, tell that hooker to stop talking

and start walking.

Okay.

Slut-bag.

Finally. Sit.

I ordered you bibimbap.

- Mm, yes. - Oh, God, what's bibimbap?

Oh, it's Korean. You're gonna love it.

Yeah, it's the second best Korean thing

I've ever had in my mouth.

Hey, so I've been trying to send you an invite,

and it keeps bouncing back,

so I Googled you, and nothing.

Liza, you're like a ghost on the Internet.

Oh, yeah, um,

I like to... I like to keep a low profile.

Uh, a low profile?

Yeah, never say that to a publicist.

- No. - What's the invite?

I'm having a Hot Mitzvah.

- A what? - Just watch.

At my Bat Mitzvah, I hated how I looked.

That's why 13 years later,

I am throwing a Hot Mitzvah.

You're invited, so you must be hot.

Is that a Star of David bikini top?

Yes!

I crocheted it out of two yarmulkes.

Chic.

Bring Josh and Craigslist Maggie.

Tell that OWL I want her to come.

Owl?

Older wise lesbian.

Hoot hoosh.

New Tricks.

As you can see, we're ready. We've got the stand-ups,

the wall hangers, the Amazon Banner,

the Kindle banner, the NOOK banner.

Liza?

Social media is hyped from Facebook to Book Riot...

Goodreads, too.

So my department is ready to go.

All we need now is the book.

Kelsey.

Well, the good news is the draft is finally in.

The bad news is it's a mess.

She uses the word "man root" 12 times in one chapter.

So I'm out to all the top book doctors,

and I'm just trying to figure out who's the best fit.

Well, I suggest you pick one soon,

or we'll have to push the pub date.

No, that won't happen.

Good.

Then I think we're done.

Hey, I'm doing a coffee run. You need anything?

Yeah, a book doctor for Megan Vernoff.

Half of my regulars are busy competing

for the Kardashian rewrite.

Where do you even find a book doctor, anyway?

Most of them are stay-at-home moms with Ivy League degrees.

I mean, some of them had really promising careers.

They just gave up to have kids,

and now they're so far off track, they do anything.

They don't even care about the credit.

Another reason why we can never stop working.

You know, I've done some creative writing.

And I edited the Dartmouth Literary Journal.

Maybe I could give the Vernoff book a try.

Seriously?

You want to write about the sex life of a woman in her 40s?

I'm sure I can suppress my gag reflex

if I'm getting paid enough.

That came out wrong.

But I could use the money.

Well, that's a good reason.

See what you can do with chapter one.

How did I miss the memo on book doctors?

I could have been doing this for years.

Well, there was, like, an entire decade

where you were in a PTA fugue.

_

Josh?

Yeah, but I'm not getting distracted.

This is a big opportunity for me.

_

Oh, really? What's the book?

It's called New Tricks.

And it's about a woman's sexual reawakening in her 40s.

So you're a 40-year-old pretending to be a 26-year-old

who's pretending to write in the voice of a 40-year-old?

Stop it. My head's exploding.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

You're getting your own coffee?

I like to keep my life skills sharp.

You know, in case there's another Sandy.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Hey, I sent you that chapter.

I know. I read it.

And?

You nailed it.

Really?

Yes.

That whole passage where she's trying to hide her stretch marks

from her boyfriend,

you must have done your research.

Yeah, it's just a writerly imagination.

And is it true that older women really pee a little

every time they sneeze?

Once you've shot a baby out...

at least, that's what I hear.

Well, I've got to tell you, Liza,

I've hired a lot of book doctors,

you're good at it.

You really liked it?

Yes.

And that's why I gave it to Charles.

Seriously?

Yes.

And you are seriously welcome.

Liza.

Oh, hi.

I just read your chapter.

That's good.

Your HR file says you're 26,

but you write like a 40-year-old.

There's something you want to tell me?

Uh...

No.

Come see me in my office.

Liza, all this time, I thought you were

just another struggling assistant.

But you've had a secret all along, haven't you?

Well, um...

And now I think I know your secret.

You're a writer.

Yeah. I'm a writer.

Just... I'm a writer.

Guilty. Throw the book at me.

Terrible pun. I apologize.

Your chapter sample was so impressive.

Obviously, you're good enough to rewrite Megan Vernoff.

Really?

Thank you.

But book doctoring isn't really about writing.

It isn't?

No, it's more about egos

and that elusive thing that they call "chemistry."

Oh.

Which I think you will excel at.

Oh, good.

You are an easy person to meet,

to work with,

to, um...

be with.

At least, I think so.

Thank you.

I will set up a meeting for you and Megan.

If the two of you click,

the rewrite's yours.

What were you doing in Charles' office?

Uh.

Honestly,

I was throwing my hat in the ring