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My husband died for nothing,
and I'm beginning to think I didn't even know him.
- What do you want to build, Jules?
Who do you want to be?
- I can't wait for you to screw up
so you can call me.
- Why does he have this? - It was your dad's.
- I don't believe exercise can be fun.
- Okay, in my dance class, we pose through the pain.
- I want to believe this was an accident,
but I just don't know.
- I have spent four months blaming the universe,
and maybe the one I really should be angry with is Matt.
- I don't know what you want me to say.
- I want you to tell me if you think he jumped.
Maybe!
Maybe.
How'd you get it again?
Special ops mission in Paraguay.
Top secret, I shouldn't even be talking to you about it.
- I thought it was a battle with a velociraptor
after your DeLorean broke down. - Nope.
How'd you get it again?
- We were dropping in by parachute
to maintain the element of surprise.
But unfortunately, the only thing
I caught by surprise was a jaguar.
- You ever gonna tell me what really happened?
- Just some stupid accident from when I was a kid.
How'd you get it again?
- You know, you never really talk about your childhood.
- Why are you awake? - The tragedy of my life.
Same.
Step Four.
I'm supposed to make a moral inventory,
which is basically a catalog
of all the not-good things I've done.
Mm.
- Every lie, every mistake, every insecurity.
And I'm supposed to be rigorously honest
so that I understand myself
and the choices I've made.
It's not fun.
- No, that sounds like literal hell.
It is,
which is why I'm watching "Real Housewives" instead.
- Is she throwing a welcome-home party
for her new boobs?
- Yep, that's what this show is.
It's like, these housewives pull these crazy stunts
to distract themselves from the fact
that they're barely functioning alcoholics.
I really missed my calling. - Mm-hmm.
What would your tagline be?
I'm Jules.
I may stab you in the front, but I'll always have your back.
That's good.
- Oh, what would mine be? -
Oh.
I'm Leigh.
If you want my advice, you won't have to ask.
Exactly.
You're killing it.
So why are you really up?
- I'm not sure if Matt's death was an accident.
- Hey. - Hey.
I got this for you.
It's my peace offering.
It was really nice...
of you to come to my birthday,
and I shouldn't have come at you like that.
- Ooh, oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
- Sorry, that's gluten-free. It was all they had.
You suck at apologizing.
- Can I ask you something about Matt?
- If it's the same question you asked me
at your birthday, absolutely not.
I'm not doing that ---- again. - Yeah, no.
No one wants to... do that again.
I just want to...
know what he was like as a kid.
Why?
- Because I met him after college,
and I know a lot about the after,
not much about the before because he...
never wanted to talk about his childhood.
- You know, people who want to talk about their childhoods
are weird, so...
- I just want to know things about him
that I didn't get to know.
Like, he had this scar on his back,
and he said he got it when he was a kid,
so I was wondering-- - What are you--
What are you wondering?
- Matt said that his depression was biopsychosocial,
psycho being his personality--
- Maybe psycho is just your personality, Leigh.
- Psycho like psychology. - Oh.
Bio like biology, and...
the social was how he was raised,
so I'm just trying to understand
the family dynamic so that I can--
- What do you want me to tell you?
That my dad was too tired to go to my third grade recital?
Yeah, you got me.
Our childhood was a nightmare.
House on a cul-de-sac.
Uh... - Mm.
- Parents been married for 30 years.
- Okay, whatever. I'll just ask your mom.
- Don't--don't ask my mom about that.
Don't ask her what you asked me at the party.
Actually, don't ask her anything.
Like, at all. - She's still my mother-in-law.
- Is she? - Mm-hmm.
- You're saying that like you two
have an actual relationship.
You haven't even seen her since the funeral.
I don't know what's going on, but...
whatever meltdown you're having this week,
leave my mother out of it.
Leigh.
Hey, Bobby.
- Hi. - Hi.
Come, come in.
Hey.
- The cheesy mash should be done in a minute.
I made it with instant potatoes.
No lumps, just like your father made it.
- Mom, he made those, like, one time.
- Oh, your brother called. He'll be a few minutes late.
But we have the movie in the player already
for when he gets here. - Mom, can we just start?
I mean, he's seen it, like, 5,000 times.
He won't care.
- I have to-- Be right back.
Hey.
What's going on with you?
She just wants to celebrate your dad.
- Yeah, and he's bringing as much joy and happiness now
as he did when he was still alive.
I hate this day.
Don't want to have an anniversary party
for my dead dad.
I just want to... shove my feelings down
and ignore them like white people.
- Oh, well, tell me more about white people.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, white people like spreading smallpox through blankets
and taking improv classes.
I know that this is hard for you.
But I think it means a lot to your mom.
- Hey, Mom? You need some help?
Just a minute ago.
I know, right?
Okay. Okay, sweetie. See you then.
So that was Danny. He said he's gonna swing by.
Great.
So I have Earl Grey
or mint tea
or chamomile if you want.
I can, uh...
- Um, I--I'll just have whatever you're having.
Okay.
- I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.
- No, it's okay. It's a long drive.
So how are you? - How are you?
I really am sorry. I-I...
could have at least called.
Leigh, it's--it's okay.
This is hard.
And just as long as it doesn't take another
four long months for your next visit.
- No, it won't. I promise.
It's really nice being here.
Do you have any more...
pictures of Matt when he was a kid?
'Cause he never really kept many at the apartment.
Oh, honey.
How much time do you have?
Come, come, come.
Hi.
- Hi. - Hey.
- Oh, was it your jacket that we found at the party?
I can text Leigh and see if she's still at the house.
- What? No, uh...
I'm here for the dance party. - Oh!
Uh, awesome.
Yeah, just go get a spot. We're about to get started.
Okay.
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