Halloween Party

Oh, God.

Wow.

That's a nice bathing suit.

Amazing.

Oh, God.

Beautiful.

Dude, I am so jealous.

Let me see.

Oh yeah, Ko Samui.

Why did you come back from Thailand...?

Who's that?

Dylan.

Why did you come back from Dylan?

I know, right.

Hiiiii.

Hiiiii.

Save yourself.

I love that.

That bird painting.

Yeah, the prison market.

A prisoner painted that.

Birds mean freedom.

Really.

Man, I should paint birds.

Zoe, what am I doing.

I hate nursing, I can't be a nurse.

I told you that last year.

Everyone on your shift is going to die.

I would save some.

Like Dylan.

I would save Dylan.

Ugh, God.

It stinks in here.

Yeah, I dunno about this room...

You have a guest!

Hello!

Not now Bubbles, shut the door.

Darren Danowski, HIV negative.

She said shut the door.

She seems nice.

Is this where the roofie party's at?

The what party?!

Hey you guys can roofie me... just no photos.

See ya, guys.

Okay, I'm okay with photos.

Really nice chat, Zoe.

Okay, we'll see you later, alright.

Ba-bye!

Umm Zoe, you have a serious bro problem in this building.

Do they have spray for that, or traps?

God.

Court and...

Bubbles?

Bubbles-in-the-Tub.

You must know him, that YouTube guy.

He had the viral video.

He was the baby farting in the bathtub.

Wow, husband material.

They're the Kappa Pho guys.

They're having that huge Halloween party.

We should go!

No thanks.

Shit.

A Halloween Party for Grace.

What the fu...

With ghosts and goblins and vampires.

But what are you really afraid of?

Hey Zoe, you have a virus!

I've seen that.

It's a Halloween meme.

A what?

You're supposed to write in your worst fear

before the counter goes out.

Otherwise it comes to life.

How does it know my name?

Technology.

Okay...?

Hey.

How do I get rid of this thing.

Just let the timer run out, a scary clip comes up.

Well, you said my fear would come to life!

It's a meme.

Saved.

Okay, that was dramatic.

You know if you put your fear in

you don't see the video.

Well, how would it know my worst fear?

It's a meme.

It knew your name didn't it.

Yeah.

That's true.

That's pretty good hacking.

What's the clip?

Uh, it's a witch.

It's bad.

I hate horror stuff.

You know spiders don't go up there.

You don't know that.

They could.

It's warm.

And beautiful.

It's a dumb phobia.

Alright, what's your worst fear.

Nothing.

I'm a Lady Chuck Norris.

You're fucking scared of everything...

- Lies... - Tell me.

No.

Ooo, you're hiding something.

Tell me.

Fucking tell me.

Fine.

It's pigs.

- What. - Yeah, oink oink.

Those things.

Oh my God, that's so stupid.

Every Halloween my brother gets a pig mask

and chases me... worst fucking nightmare.

Dude.

Pigs are not scary.

At least spiders are like, you know, evil.

Pigs are...

Dude, they're pink.

Here.

I got it one Christmas.

Farmer Dell?

Still fucking freaks me out.

They're people-ish, they wear clothes, they talk.

But they're still pigs.

Hooves and tails.

And those little black eyes.

Unblinking.

Mindless.

Creepy.

And now you have a pig phobia.

No, I got that after.

After what?

What.

I'll tell you but.

It's fucked.

You know my spider story, you have to tell me.

Okay so, growing up,

there was this farm down the road.

And there was this mean old drunk farmer, Mr. Hannaman.

And for whatever reason,

Hannaman didn't always feed his animals.

And if pigs don't eat, they go crazy,

they'll eat anything.

So one night, Hannaman, drunk as a monkey,

sitting on the barn fence, screaming at his animals...

Falls in and the pigs eat him.

They eat everything.

They opened the largest and found the farmer's teeth.

Even his leather boots.

Eww.

Okay, so now you're scared of pigs.

No. Wait.

So a couple days later dad goes down to the farm.

The pigs are gone.

What?

Where?

No one knew.

The fence was fine.

Gate was locked.

But I can tell you this.

The woods behind our house.

Something was in there.

Pigs?

Something.

You could hear noises, but they weren't animal sounds.

And then.

I saw it.

Behind our shed.

In the trees.

Standing.

Those little black eyes.

Unblinking.

Mindless.

No way.

And that's when it said something to me.

What?

- What?! - (Unintelligible)

What?!

- (Making pig noises) - Fuck!

Fuck!

You are a fucker!

Oh my God.

Shit, it's late.

Ugh, phone, where's my phone.

It's getting dark out so no wonder

I believed your bullshit.

It's actually true.

Sure it is.

No I'm being serious, I saw something behind my house.

- Pig people? - Hey look.

I got one too.

How does it know our names?

What should I put.

I don't know.

Small dicks.