Awkward.

Previously on Awkward...

It was another natural disaster.

My mom's BFF, Ally.

What's up, lil' bitch?

Oh, you guys haven't met.

Courtney, this is Jenna.

Ricky?

- I love you. - Awesome.

I couldn't shake what was keeping me awake.

That Jake said he loved me.

I didn't say it back, and I didn't know why.

What I did know was why I loved ice cream.

It was a delicious, comforting and cruel reminder

of how cold I must have seemed when I left Jake hanging.

But I never left my hoodies hanging

because it was obvious I loved them.

They were versatile, good for all seasons

and could hide me from the probing, late night questions

I didn't wanna face.

So I didn't know how I felt.

I knew how to read a label.

The label would tell me how long

it would take for my problem to go away.

Six weeks. The same amount of time it took Jake

to know that he loved me.

Maybe I did know.

But I didn't realize it yet.

Because it was too soon.

And that was okay.

Nobody falls in love overnight.

It happened overnight.

I'm in love.

Or maybe they do.

I can't believe my best friend is in love and engaged!

And what do you mean by "it happened overnight"?

Considering that ally's longest relationship was with nicotine,

her spontaneous engagement seemed a bit sketch.

Details. We want them all.

Dan. That's his name.

You were always so good with Dans.

- Mm-hmm. - What does he do?

Ugh, something business-y.

I'm not clear on exactly what, but the man is flush.

And the man drives a Porsche

with a personalized license plate that says--

"Dan the man"?

Yes! Good guess.

It was educated.

If the dude wanted to marry Ally,

he had to have questionable taste.

Don't judge, lil' bitch.

Be grateful that your future

uncle in law can afford

to surgically pack your cans

since nature's not going to.

Love him already.

So, two weeks ago, while I was visiting my folks,

I was working down at the beach club

while I pretended to look for a job.

Meanwhile, Dan was pretending to work out

while he made it his job to watch me sweat.

And then you got to know him and he said he loved you

and while you weren't sure how you felt at first,

you soon realized that he was the best guy you ever met?

No. Then we went to Paris

and he put a 4.6 karat rock on my finger. Bam!

He took you to Paris?

And he gave me his black Amex.

So when did you know you loved him?

I don't know. In the airport?

I can't remember all the details.

Can't you just be happy for me?

Jenna, we saw that.

It was a supportive eye roll,

because now you don't have to get a job.

I know!

I don't know,

I just didn't say it back.

So you left Jake hanging?

No, I kissed him.

Okay, this is promising. And then?

And then I might have said, "awesome."

Holy pulled goalie.

Exactly, it was pre-emotional ejaculation.

No, saying "awesome" on the heels of an ily

is the equivalent of knocking someone up with heartache.

Or peeing in their face.

Which you wouldn't know, tinkle-bell.

That's right.

I have an explosive bladder.

It has a mind of its own

so step away or I might spray you.

Okay, think fast.

Imagine I'm an unhinged, over-medicated hair stylist

and I'm about to mow down your mane that you've been growing

since the fourth grade unless you answer

this question honestly.

Are you in love with Jake?

One. Two.

It's not that I don't feel something.

It's just that I'm not sure I feel "it".

You're not in love.

Don't be so tentative.

Grab 'em!

I like it when you take charge.

And I like it when you don't speak.

Oh, you're such a woman.

Pipe down and feel me up.

I can't stop thinking about you.

And you can't tell me you don't

feel what's happening between us.

Oh, I can.

And if you'd shut up,

I might let it out to breathe.

This isn't just some sordid affair, dollface.

I wanna win your heart.

I am not, nor will I ever be your dollface.

- Why not? - It should be obvi,

but I guess I need to break it down.

I don't do band geeks.

At least not in public.

Ah, but I'm the schwartzman.

I am the band.

Then this is all you get.

Okay, so let's say I'm not in love,

which I'm not saying.

- What do I do? - Break up.

- Break up? Why? - Because it's not fair.

You're leading him on.

I'm not leading him on.

I'm taking my time.

Matty did that with me

and he came around eventually.

When you were in a new relationship.

But I love being Jake's girlfriend.

See, love just slipped right out.

Totally unprovoked.

That's a good sign.

Maybe I'm coming around.

You don't just come around. You know.

Like with Fred, I could tell the second

he pumped me a cup with more foam than beer.

He could sense I was a lightweight.

I think everyone could sense that

when you were blowing chunks by the door.

But, that doesn't take anything away

from the fact that you know, Ming.

'Cause people just know when they know.

But how do you know when you know?

- Hey, beautiful. - Die.

Damn it.

You just know.

And you know I'm the one

and only Jake Rosati,

with a special guest.

Matty McKibben.

And these are the Palace Hills morning announcements.

It's black history month, titans,

and so today we have a very special history lesson

brought to you via recording from our very own,

very white history teacher, Mr. Samuel Wollman.

So last night... ending up at the same place.

- That was a little awkward. - Yeah.

But not as awkward as it was

when I told Jenna that I loved her.

What? When did you guys have sex?

We haven't.

But that's off the table because I freaked her out.

You know what her response to me was?

"Awesome."

Yeah, that's because you can't say

"I love you" before you have sex.

Come on, man, there isn't an order.

Dude you are so JV.

Right now you are at the "I love hanging out with you"

or the "I love being around you" phase.

You aren't supposed to blow

the "I love you" wad until after sex.

That's the carrot you dangle to get it, baby.

- I could just take it back. - You can't take it back.

It's out there.

Now you just gotta play it cool, all right.

Easy for you to say, you've never been in love before.

Aha.

Evidence of my love.

warm embrace.

Need I say more?

Hey, do we look in love?

Thank you.

If I didn't know these people,

I'd be convinced.

But you do know these people.

And you don't need to convince me or anyone else.

You need to convince yourself and maybe your notebook.

Of what?

That you're not still into Matty.

No way. That ship has sailed.

It wasn't entirely true.

My feelings for Matty were present and accounted for.

But like Jake, I didn't know how to interpret them.