The Roses

Okay. So, today's session,

the ten things you love about each other.

Theo, you first.

Sure, um...

One. I would rather live with her than a wolf.

Did you say wolf?

-Yeah. -Wow.

-Well... -Uh, one. He has arms.

Well, I saw a documentary once about a man without arms,

and it looked like a difficult life,

particularly for the partner, so...

I like that he has arms.

Yeah, that's fair.

Arms.

Two, the shape of her head is somewhat pleasing...

...at a distance.

Three, I have memories of her being witty.

Four, she smells pleasant... on occasion.

I actually struggled to write any more.

Uh, two. His breath smells like an anchovy

that's been on the piss all night.

Three, the way he laughs

is like a diseased dog's death rattle.

Four, uh, he's a bad father.

A fucked lover. A complete deadshit.

A victim. A loser. A wanker.

Number ten. "Theo, what a cunt."

That wasn't the task.

Those are things you hate. It's not funny.

That is... That's-- That's actually quite funny.

I see so much resentment and defensiveness.

-(BOTH LAUGH) -An inability to apologize...

...to share your vulnerability.

In his defense, he is a whiny baby,

so that's vulnerability.

-(THEO LAUGHS) -Verbal cruelty.

In England, we call that repartee.

Self-righteousness. Mockery. An inability to admit wrongs.

I don't think you have the capacity

to fix your problems.

It's terrifying how close we came to losing each other.

Lucky us.

Lucky us.

Always have been. Mm.

Remember when we met?

Good day.

So, I think this is a moment of celebration

for all of us.

I think we can be very proud of this building.

Congratulations, Darren. Congratulations, Darren.

Cheers, everyone.

Dear God. He actually means it.

Theo, what did you say?

Sorry. I was, uh...

...just remembering how we got rid of

the cascading garden balconies

so that we are denying the humans

who will be living in these 700 featureless boxes

the chance to engage with fresh air, see a horizon,

or maybe decisively embrace the moment

that living in their apartments makes them want to jump.

So, really, people, when you think about it,

we saved lives.

To us!

Right. I mean, the balcony thing

is actually a good example, Theo.

I detect a note of bitterness about it.

-But we all have to... -(WHISPERS) Oh, fuck.

...grind ourselves and our whims as architects

down to the market's needs...

Sorry. Um...

I just need a moment so I don't kill myself

in front of my colleagues.

Interesting. How would you do it?

Do you have a very large knife anywhere?

I do.

I need it to finish this though.

I'll happily wait.

What is this?

Trout carpaccio.

Oh, wait. Try it with some of this.

Mmm.

Jesus!

Well, don't give Him credit. It's all me.

Dehydrated blackberry and anchovy.

I want to put it on there, but the chef won't let me.

How can we live like this?

Me, no cascading garden balconies.

You, no dehydrated thingy.

Personally, I'm moving to America next week

to live free and become a chef.

Well, maybe I should join you.

We haven't even had sex yet.

That's minutes away though.

Very true.

Service!

Join me in the cool room. Um...

Um... Theo.

Ivy.

(HAPPY TOGETHER BY SUSANNA HOFFS AND RUFUS WAINWRIGHT PLAYS)

Who wants to eat the bus driver?

-Me! -(LAUGHTER)

So weird, the tall buses.

And why are they red?

So you can see them, 'cause it's so foggy.

Well, it's not so foggy there anymore.

Not since Jack the Ripper died.

Look. Try Tower Bridge. So this is licorice.

Add this dark chocolate, this raspberry, and this--

don't tell anyone-- shrimp powder.

A fish?

Depth of flavor without the fishiness.

Close your eyes.

-Gosh! -Gosh indeed!

Look, I know it's a museum.

But it's supposed to represent a sail on a ship,

so it should feel like that.

You should expect pirates

to come round the corner at any moment.

No. I'm joking.

Look, I want the sail.

The question you have to ask yourself is how do you

-want to live your life? -(CHILDREN GIGGLING)

-With courage or without? Dad!

Thank you. Then I'll send you the numbers.

-(EXHALES) -Daddy!

-We're eating British icons. -(THEO GRUNTS)

Caramel miso Buckingham Palace.

Yes. Of course you are.

Look. Big Ben shiso bourbon cookie.

Sounds good.

I feel dizzy, and my tongue's fizzing.

Yeah.

Amazing. Of course.

But, don't you think it might be a bit of a problem

turning their blood 40-proof sucrose?

Don't sugar shame them.

But it is bad for their health long-term.

And they will get fat.

Buddha was fat.

And he was great.

-He was great. -Ivy.

Look, they'll learn to self manage.

If you restrict things, it leads to weird obsessions.

-I feel sick. -See?

Ah. I do. I see a girl learning her limits.

-(RETCHES) Whoa.

Lesson learned. Limit reached. Parenting tick for Mummy.

Ugh.

Oh, dear. Oh, you're fine.

Can't you just admit you're wrong?

On the day that I am, I can.

But not on the day I built your building,

soon to be the eighth wonder of the world,

here in Northern California,

in raspberry shortcake!

Oh, my God. (LAUGHS)

How did you do that, Mom?

-You know the way to my ego. -(IVY LAUGHS)

My God. Isn't your mummy brilliant?

'Course she is. That's a rhetorical question.

-You are a genius. -Agreed.

I feel good to go again.

Stomach of Caligula.

You know the way to make your daddy proud.

-Are we ready? Yes.

Wait for it.

Ooh.