We Broke Up

Should we do something tonight?

We should. We should finish packing.

I can't, I'm too tired.

Tough day?

No. I made lattes.

We really should leave by 8 tomorrow,

I don't want to get stuck in traffic.

You sound like your dad.

DOUG (imitating dad): Why was the squirrel late for work?

Because traffic was nuts.

Oh, boo!

(chuckles) Wait, you don't like that one? I got more.

If I promise we'll be in the car by 8, will you stop?

Mm-hm.

- Hey. I read the book you recommended.

- Mm... - Oh, yeah?

I didn't like it.

Your food will be ready in five minutes.

Thanks.

She did not like it.

She mean.

No? I'm hungry.

Well, I mean, we could order some Chinese take-out,

you know, if you're hungry.

Wow, what a suggestion. Thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome. It's just a thought.

- Oh. - Oh?

What's happening?

I don't know. What is happening?

Oh, it is. You like this.

- (laughs) - Stupid.

- Am I embarrassing you? - Mm-hm.

I can do this all day.

Marry me.

Hey...

Morning.

Can we at least talk about last night?

You should get dressed, we gotta get on the road.

- Doug. - Lori.

You can't possibly think you're coming, you dumped me.

Uh, yeah I am. I'm in the wedding.

You're barely in the wedding.

I'm the King of the Ushers.

Well, it's my sister. You're not coming.

Do we really need all this shit?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, we do.

Bea texted.

What are you gonna tell her?

- Hey, did I press play? - Yeah.

- I'm sorry, I... - Yes!

I know, but I just keep taking pictures instead of video.

- Um, hey, I'm Jayson - I'm Bea, I'm on a boat!

Baby, you don't have to be that loud.

- What? Wait... - Okay, we're excited.

Anyways, I know this is, uh, probably gonna be a little strange, um,

but... but here goes nothing.

Four weeks ago, I was at the Sydney airport,

and I heard this person going on and on and on...

No, I wasn't. I was just talking.

I'm simply talking about playing Skee-Ball at

the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri, so...

Which is exactly what I used to do when I was a kid,

and I'd never met ev... ever met anyone else

- who would ever know what Lake of the Ozarks is. - Lake of the Ozarks!

Okay, so this is not just an introduction,

'cause like I said, I am Bea.

- Yep. - Beatrice.

Yeah, and I'm Jayson. Jayson.

It's also an announcement. 'Cause we're getting married!

- Yeah, so we're getting married. - We're getting married!

Okay, so when the video ends,

that'll be my grand entrance to my favorite song.

"Pony," by Ginuwine.

Yeah, with a G.

Perfect.

We're just so thrilled that you've chosen

the Arrowhead Pines Lodge for your special day.

Well, Bea loved it here when it was a summer camp, so...

I always thought my wedding should be fun, you know?

And what is more fun than getting married

at the place where you got your first period?

Hi. We have a reservation.

- Name? - But...

um, we just... we have a king bed and we need two beds.

Please.

Yeah, thing is, we're fully booked.

We have a wedding this weekend.

Yes, I am aware, it is my sister's wedding.

No, we'll just keep the suite.

What are you gonna do, sleep on the floor?

Can't you just, like, upgrade someone else?

We'll take whatever.

I can switch you guys over to a cabin.

Great.

They're not heated, though.

Who needs heat.

Okay, well, I have to type all of this in,

so it's gonna be a couple hours.

- Take your time. - Okay.

Oh, shit.

- You ready for this? - No.

Neither am I.

Run.

- Ah! Oh, my God! - Oh, my... Hey.

- Mom! - Hi. My favorite couple.

- Hey. - How are you?

I thought you guys were gonna get here earlier.

We were hoping to have lunch with you,

but your grandparents got hungry at 10:30.

Oh, well, you know, we were, um, delayed.

Anyway...

What happened?

We, uh...

Uh, we... we, uh... we hit a bird.

Oh, no. Is it okay?

It's dead.

It's so nice to see you.

You too. Oh, God.

Ugh! They get engaged after a couple of days.

She wants to get married at her old summer camp.

Oh, well, I think it's kinda cool to get married at...

There are friendship bracelets in the welcome bags.

Mom, you promised.

They'll be through by Christmas.

Watch.

- Hey, sis. What's up? - Hi.

Lori, good to see you.

- Dougie. - Hey, man, what's up?

- Hey. - Oh, boy. All right.

- Yeah. - Hey!

- Oh, man. - It's so great to finally meet you.

- Yeah. - Gosh. Hey, um, the wedding planner

absolutely loved your ribbon on the chair idea, so...

A lot of people like ribbon.

Yeah, I mean, I... I personally love ribbons.

I think I see Aunt Jean.

You're here! You're here!

- There she is, there she is. - Oh, my God, you're here.

- Hi. - Oh, my God.

A little excited to see her sister.

- A little bit. - Yeah.

- Look at your hair. - Oh, yeah. Check this out.

Oh, wow.

So I rented a store front. I'm launching, like,

as soon as I get back from the honeymoon.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on. Wait. Launching what?

Scrunchies.

Bespoke scrunchies.

- Seriously? - Yeah. Jay's an early investor.

You gotta get in on the ground floor.

And I screwed that up with the Honest Company.

Friggin' Jessica Alba. Genius.

Okay, I was gonna wait until the day of the wedding,

but here you go.

Oh, my God. (gasps) Oh. Oh, hey.

So everyone knows you're my maid of honor.

Yeah, I lo... I love it.

- Yeah? - It's beautiful.

- I put it on like this? - Please.

Okay. Yeah, you like?

- Hi. - Hi.

It looks really great.

God. God, I love this hoodie. I love how old it looks.

Did it come that way?

No, it's just old.

- Hm. Like Jay? - Yeah. (chuckles)

- What'd you just say? - Nothing.

- She called you old, man. - Oh... (chuckles)

Guilty. I am older than her, this is true.

Hey, what suite are you guys staying in?

- Uh... - Oh, uh, we actually...

We switched to one of the cabins.

- Oh... cozy. - Ah, fine.

But we can't get in for a couple of hours, so we're...

- What? - Yeah.

Let me go talk to Mike.

Go get 'em, baby.

U... (clears throat)

Where's the N?

Hey, Mike.

- Oh, what's up? - What's up?

Hey, um, did you cut your hair?

No, it's just behind my shoulders.

Ah, see, before, you had it in the front.

- Yeah. - In the front.

So, my brother and sister just got here.

- They need a room. - Right.

Yeah, they... can they get... can they get one now?

Yeah, I told them I could maybe switch 'em to a cabin.

- Oh, sweet. - Yeah, they got...

You got... Do you have... Can they... Can they get a key?

Yeah, yeah, I got a couple, I have, uh, Red Rover,

Hopscotch, and Duck, Duck, Goose.

Which one do you recommend?

- Duck, Duck, Goose. - Sweet.

- Red Rover's haunted. - What?

- Yeah. - Nice.

Cha-ching! You guys are in Duck, Duck, Goose.