Pernicious

Here for the next month.

It's weird looking.

It's kind of weird.

Rocking boat.

God.

You have suitcases?

Thanks.

Could it be any hotter?

Ugh, it's gross.

I just got bit already.

So this is Thailand.

It looks amazing.

We're really out in the sticks here, aren't we?

This is gonna be an unforgettable experience.

Yeah, well, after a train ride to a cab ride to a boat ride,

that was quite an experience in itself.

Don't be such a sourpuss.

Come on, this place is huge.

Yeah, but the words freaky and run down come to mind.

You know what, I'm just relieved it's not a hut, OK?

Why would it be a hut?

It's Southeast Asia, teaching children.

I expected a hut.

This isn't much better.

Come on, sis.

We're in Thailand.

We're saving the world.

Enjoy it.

All right, how about we just go inside like normal people

would do?

OK, we're teaching small children the alphabet.

We're not curing cancer.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Jeez.

What were you doing?

Nothing.

Just admiring that cool dollhouse looking thing.

It's actually called a spirit house,

and it's sacred in Thai culture.

How am I supposed to know that?

What's that supposed to mean?

Ah, Alex, ignorance truly is bliss.

Wow, I'm so glad I'm not related to you two.

Wait.

I don't get it.

OK.

Oh, come on.

What are you doing?

Stuck.

Probably because it's a piece of crap.

Come on, let me see.

Uh.

Oh!

What do you know?

Not so ignorant after all, huh?

I swear, I'm gonna smack her at some point this summer.

Well, wait until she's drunk so it doesn't hurt as bad.

Love you Al, I swear.

OK.

Ugh.

Hey, don't judge a book by its cover, right?

It's not completely unfortunate.

Wow, it's so old.

How old do you think?

Like, thousands of years?

I don't know.

See?

I told you it's amazing.

Just like the woman at the housing office said.

I call dibs on the biggest room!

Noted.

Well, it only is fair, since I never doubted the place.

Like I said, it's not completely shitty.

You said unfortunate.

But I meant shitty.

OK, girls, do you want to see the rest of the rooms?

I'm just going to remind you guys that I called dibs.

I don't remember that conversation.

Jules, do you remember anything about a dibs being called?

Ah, uh-uh.

No.

You know, I... I don't remember anything about that.

You guys are hilarious.

Sorry.

I don't know if we're supposed to be up here.

I'm sure it's fine.

Ooh.

Guys, look at this.

Looks like traditional Thai couch or something.

Comfy.

Whoa.

It looks really old.

Is that gold?

No way.

It's probably paint.

Look, it's chipping right there.

It's so cold.

It's really pretty.

Well, if it's an antique, you shouldn't be touching it, Al.

You're right.

Really?

Uh, OK, I'm a little bit creeped out by this, so let's

I don't want to be responsible for breaking an ancient statue,

OK?

All right, girls, what's the plan?

Now, we can go get food, go to town, get tequila shots.

What?

Sleep.

OK.

Sleep it is.

Come on.

Oh, hey, baby.

Nice shirt.

What are you up to?

Just waking up.

Checking in on my little lover.

What time is it over there?

Noon.

Oh.

I see you're putting your summer TAing off to good use.

Well, you know, the whole reason I'm becoming a professor

is so I can have the summers off, not have to wake

up at the crack of dawn.

I remember somebody telling me Thailand

is an amazing and magical land.

So how are the sisters?

Crazy and crazier?

Hey guys.

What's for breakfast?

I'm starving.

What?

There's no food in this house.

Yep.

All we could find was this tea.

Hmm.

All right, then.

Who wants to go to town?

What the heck?

It's probably just the wind.

Sir?

Sir?

Are you OK?

He looks comatose.

Except he's standing.

Uh, hold on.

We don't speak Thai.

Oh.

Um.

Well, sorry to bother you.

Many apologies.

Is he OK?

Yeah.

He just likes to wander off sometimes.

Again, very sorry.

Thank you.

Well, that was creepy.

But I'm hungry, so let's go.

Wow, someone's good at compartmentalizing.

You have no idea.

Ooh, let's stop here for a sec.

I want to look at something.

Hmm.

Purses.

You don't even wear jewelry.

When in Rome.

Is this a dragon?

Oh, um, hello.

How much does this cost?

90 baht.

It's about $3.00 American.

What?

OK.

Um, Al, what do you think of this bag?

Um, yeah, that bag... That bag's cool, I think.

I guess.

OK.

I'll buy it.

So, girls, what's the plan for tonight, huh?

I mean, we only have a week before the work starts.

Thank you.

And by the work, you mean helping

lovely, helpless little children and the joy

that comes with that, right?

Yes, that is exactly what I meant.

Mmhmm.

Yes.

What about you, Al?

Um, what?

The club.

I think those guys are following us.

That's a weird subject change.

No, seriously.

I saw them when you were buying your purse.

Hey, you guys want something or what?

Yeah, right?

Oh, come on, Al.

Don't worry.

I'm sure they're harmless.

Whatever.

OK, so, um, change, thank you?