Drawn Together

Announcer: tonight, toss your meds

And shoot your shrink,

Because your pitiful life

Will finally be given meaning

As you decide

Which of these 8 assbags

Will be banished from thedrawn togetherhouse

Forever!

One housemate will disappear

Like a mexican woman's figure after marriage.

Tonight...

On the season finale ofdrawn together,

The musical elimination special,

Part 2: the musical elimination.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

This happens now!

Uhh. Uhh.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

The jew producer!

Thank you. Thank you.

Now, you, the viewers, voted

For your favorite musical housemate,

And tonight, we will reveal

Which one of you assholes

Is going home.

So, captain hero--

It's pronouncedcapitan.

The "hero" is silent.

Ok. Well, before you perform your song tonight,

Let's all relive

This creepy captain hero moment.

Captain hero, narrating: at last, it was the night of my big date

With clara, and i wanted everything

To go perfectly.

Oh! Oh, shoot.

Ahh! A thousand pardons.

Allow me, milady.

Get off me!

It was as if everything on the date

That could have gone wrong did.

Oh, i have the worst luck.

Captain hero, take me home.

What? You're not having fun?

You're making out with our waiter.

Shh! Don't be mean to him,

Or he'll spit in our food.

Ohh!

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

Captain leslie hero!

Captain hero, the votes are in.

And you are...

Safe!

Ahh! Oh, my god. Thank you, america.

I love you...

So why shouldn't we have a fuckin' baby?

Toot, you suck,

And yet you keep returning.

How do you explain this phenomenon?

Well, how do you explain your fugly face?!

I was burned in a horrible accident.

It's pretty sad, actually.

Now, while toot gets ready

To sing her clogged heart out,

Let's take a look at some of our favorite moments

With toot braunstein.

Come on. Do me. Do me.

You know you want it.

Sorry, my dear,

But even a filthy, pathetic donkey

Has standards.

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen,

Toot braunstein.

You suck!

Well, toot,

The audience has spoken,

And you are...

Safe!

You're goddamn right i'm safe,

You fucking assbags!

Announcer: when we return,

We'll find out which one

Of our 6 remaining contestant's dreams

Will be totally ruined

Like your mom's reputation

After i bone her face.

Everyone, welcome.

In accordance with captain girl' s wishes,

We are burying her as a mormon.

Not because she was one,

But because she hated mormons,

And it would make her happy for us to bury one.

You may begin, reverend.

If you'll all turn in your books

To page 134--

Ahem.

Ooga-Booga! Great space god!

Magic lizard, come down from jupiter!

Producer: before we continue on with the results,

Let's take a moment to remember

Some of our family who we've lost

Over this past season.

[One person claps late, stops]

Audience: ohh!

I love references to dead celebrities

Nobody cares about anymore.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

aahh!

May they all rot in hell.

All: amen!

Wooldoor, why don't yo u tell the audience

What you plan on singing tonight?

I'm totally gonna rock some black chick's tongue.

Well, go get ready, and as you do,

Let's watch wooldoor's journey

Into the final 8.

Wooldoor, i'd like you to meet the cap'n.

So, frank says you've got a great big cock.

Really? May i see it?

Ok.

Thank you, wooldoor.

Announcer: here he is, wooldoor sockbat.

Well, wooldoor,

The audience has voted.

And you are...

Not safe!

Aww.

Audience: aww.

Ling-Ling,

You're a pretty popular fella.

Yes. Yes, i am.

Well, i hope you're ready to sing

Your little yellow heart out,

But before you do, let's take a look

At why you're so goddamn popular.

I'll leave you 2 lovebirds alone.

I--What?

W-What?

Take off shirt!

Ahh...

Announcer: and now, ling-Ling!