Ricki and the Flash

Whoo!

Yes, Mama!

I love you, Ricki!

- Ricki! I love you, Ricki! - Heh-heh-heh.

Thanks, everybody. Thank you, my sweet Daniel.

- I adore you. - Aw.

Good evening, Tarzana!

- I owe 10? - That was Tom Petty.

"American Girl" from 197... What was it, Greg?

- '77. - Yeah.

'77. Wow.

And, you know, I am proud to be an American girl...

...born in the best country in the world.

- I know you're proud too, Walt. - Yes, ma'am.

Yes, sir. Too bad things aren't being run very well these days.

Anyway, I'm Ricki Rendazzo...

...and I'd like to take this minute to introduce my band, the Flash.

We've been the house band here at The Salt Well since 2008.

Yeah, that was the year we elected you-know-who.

No offense, Billy.

Ha-ha-ha. Whoa!

Yeah, we joke around. Anyway, speaking of Billy...

...he's the man on keys. The great Billy Lambert.

- And we got Buster Frye on bass. - Buster.

- Mr. Joey Sweeney on the drums. - Ow!

Newly single, ladies.

- Call me, Joe. - And finally...

...my right hand man, Mr. Greg Sandoval...

- ...and his sweet Gibson SG. - Yeah.

Whoo!

And, you know, uh...

I've been told it's not good to date someone in the band...

...but honestly, I don't think it's hurting our sound, right?

- We're not really dating, Greg. - Oh.

Excuse me, is that not the correct terminology?

Are we hooking up like my kid says, right?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, we've been spending some time together, yeah.

I spend time with Buster. I think you and I are different.

Shit, I hope so. Shit.

Okay, I think this is a conversation for backstage.

So let's just round it up, okay?

We learned a tune since our last gig at The Salt Well.

Because some of you have asked for more of today's hits.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- And we aim to please. Okay. - Whoo!

Come on, come on.

Here you go, Ricki. Margarita for my queen.

- Oh. Thank you, darling. - Yes, of course.

Hey, Danny, I'm sorry I couldn't talk before the gig.

- Vocal rest. - Oh, please.

Vocal rest? She thinks this is Madison Square Garden. Ha-ha-ha.

- Hey, I... - Great set, man.

- I take things seriously, that's all. - I know. I love that about you.

I'm sorry that I, um...

Sorry about what I said onstage. That was just some fun banter. Heh, heh.

You know, the crowd loves that drama and tension. Yeah?

- Good one. - Thanks, boy.

That was just, uh...

Anyway, that was what made Fleetwood Mac really popular.

- Okay. - Your purse is vibrating.

If she moved with me, she wouldn't need that kind of thing.

It's probably my manager. He's, like, 17.

- Three-one-seven. - Where's that? Bufu, Egypt?

- It's Indianapolis. - Hm.

It's a telemarketer.

I once got an Old Navy credit card. It haunts me to this day.

Our barista Maxine...

...has delicious, dairy-free, premium...

- Good morning. - Hey.

Good morning to you.

Hey.

It's ringing up. Okay.

That's the way it goes. One.

- Okay, that's 447.74. - Ouch.

I guess that's why they call it "total paycheck."

Well, that actually is truly my total paycheck. Heh, heh.

Four forty-seven, seventy-four. That's about what I make in a week. Heh.

- How about that? - Ooh.

And you'd like $150 cash back.

Yes, please.

Can an associate meet a customer in frozen foods?

There you go. There's your receipt.

- Thank you. - Thank you so much, sir.

Have a good day.

- Let me know how you like those cookies. - Yeah, right.

- Hey. - You alienated the customer.

- I... - I need you to satisfy...

...and delight the customer.

Okay. I'm sorry, Troy.

No, it's okay. Just remember, gratitude.

- Cool. Thanks. Hi. - Hi.

Thanks.

Come on.

- Hello. - Linda?

You actually picked up. I was expecting...

...maybe you'd gotten, you know, another new phone number.

I'm sorry. I don't have...

I can't figure out how to set up the message box thing.

You know me. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

What's the problem, Pete?

It's Julie. Max left her.

Where'd he go?

"Where'd he go?" He left her. He's divorcing her.

He met someone new.

How is Julie?

Well, that's really why I'm calling you.

She's not well. She's absolutely unhinged.

She's been here at the house now for a few days.

She hasn't changed her clothes, she hasn't showered.

Uh, she's a wreck. I'm worried.

Okay. How is your wife handling all this?

Maureen is in Seattle visiting her father.

- He is failing. - Oh, right.

He has Alzheimer's.

No, it's ALS.

Yeah, that's short for Alzheimer's, right?

No, it's not.

Okay, so how can I help?

Well, um...

...you could be there for your daughter.

Linda?

Oh, yeah.

Please have IDs and tickets ready to view.

Belts and shoes off, please.

If you have a laptop, please put it in a bin by itself.

Please take your keys, cell phones and metal objects out of your pockets.

- Who are you dropping off? - Uh, Ricki Rendazzo.

And you're here to see...?

The Brummels. Pete Brummel.

Can I see some ID?

- What? - ID, ma'am.

Here you go.

Thank you.

This says "Linda."

Yeah, that's my given name, but Pete knows that I prefer to go by Ricki...

- ...so I'm sure he'll probably... - Here you are.

Linda Brummel.

Oh.

I don't have any money.

Let me.

Here. I'll get those.

Hey, who is this?

Is this Ralphie?

No, that's Sigma.

Ralphie passed away a few years ago.

- Excess bloat. - Aw.

Well, then we're new to each other, huh?

How was your flight?

It was fine, but travel has really changed since we took the kids to Disney World.

That was 1988.

Yeah. No, I just mean, you know...

I remember when flying was a treat. People got dressed up even.

Now I see these young girls in the airport in their jammy bottoms.

Yeah. Well, I can see you still put in the effort.

Thanks, Pete.

This is some place.

This is like a mansion.

Thanks. Yeah, well, double-height entry...

...and Maureen had to have Palladian windows, so we put those in.

Very classical.

Yeah. I feel like Jefferson at Monticello.

- I'll go tell Julie you're here. - Heh, heh.

Okay. I'll just have a look around.

Okay. Julie?

Oh, my God.

Look at this place.

Mm-hm.

Mm-hm.

Mm. My, my, my.

Wow.

Man.

Uh, Julie's pretty tired. But she's glad you're here...

...and looks forward to seeing you in the morning.

Wrong. No, no, no.

Julie is not looking forward to shit!

Hey, Ju-jee.

Nice of you to grace us with your presence.

Couldn't make the wedding, but here you are right in time for the divorce.

Okay. Nobody wanted me at that wedding.

Do you have a gig or do you always dress like a hooker from Night Court?