Fatal Attraction

Previously onFatal Attraction...

There it is, the face. No wonder they're gonna make you judge.

Ooh, heard your 40th birthday's coming up.

That's young for a judge.

So, the appointment? It's not happening.

What? What are you talking about?

I'm Alex Forrest.

Alex. Dan Gallagher.

Daniel Michael Gallagher,

convicted of murder in the second degree,

given a sentence of 15 years to life.

Every day that I have been in here,

I have thought about Alexandra Forrest.

I chose to take her life.

My father might be

-up for parole. I need to say this

even if you don't believe me.

I did not kill that woman Alex Forrest,

and I'm going to prove it.

And Mike walks in,

said, "Which one of you is Gallagher? Come here."

-Shit. -Oh, yeah.

Says, "Look, your dad is a legend,

"but he's also a prick,

"and there's a lot of people that would love

"to watch you fuck up 'cause they hate him,

"and he is the reason you got this job.

But I, Mike, will always be here to protect you."

And his reward, of course, is...

being send to Pacoima on Friday night

to see if there's a body in the trunk.

Is your dad still with us?

-Not even a little. -Hmm.

Wow, you really were not kidding about you and meatballs.

In fairness,

there's only, what, like, seven total ingredients

in a meatball that you can combine in only so many ways,

and so really, how bad-- or how much better--

could it really get? Really?

So, what you're saying is, the problem with meatballs

is their extreme reliability?

-Yes. Yes. -Okay.

So, we both like meatballs,

-we both like cookies. -Mm-hmm.

-Conchita. We both like Conchita. -Yes.

Man, did you luck out with her.

I mean, we all did, really, to have a woman like that

in that position who has seen it all

and still believes in people?

Or really, believes in believing in people?

That's probably a better way to put it.

Yeah, saves us all from becoming cynics.

Right, if that's the goal.

-Go on. -I think cynicism

is probably the danger in your lane,

but in ours, it's more...

compassion fatigue?

You know, you see so many helpless people, wh...

you start to blame them for their own helplessness.

Hmm.

Okay, well, maybe...

I didn't mean cynicism, exactly, more...

-a failure of empathy. -Right.

Right, because if you're guarding against that,

and you're looking for the good, then...

-it can make you easier to fool. -

Right? But You have to keep reminding yourself,

it's better to be a fool

than be angry at people for not having power.

Uh, I don't know. Then again, my dad used to say

that a-a cynic is what an idealist calls a realist,

so, really, I guess I have no idea

what I'm telling you right now.

Here's to it all.

I do something to you, Danny?

No. What did I do to you?

'Cause I just got your foot all the way up my ass,

-so it's got to be something. -Is this is about the drive-by case?

17-year-old kid they executed.

Witness ID'd the car and all four guys, first and last names.

Just charge. It's your fucking job.

-Two Buds and a 7 and 7. -You put something down

on your tab right now or it's closed, Suarez.

Jerry's not saying that.

Because he hasn't seen your tab. You want me to show him?

I want you to get ass cancer, chicken dick.

Nice. You're a real prince.

Oh, my God. No, it's okay. No, don't. You don't like it.

No, no, no, it's okay. I will drink it. -No, no, no.

- I'm gonna drink it. -You're crying. You're crying.

Okay, we're gonna cross this off the list, okay?

Don't worry, there are plenty of other margaritas here,

that are probably more your speed.

Strawberry? A classic.

Banana?

-Coconut? You say coconut? -Oh, Jesus.

Okay. Watermelon.

These are my speeds to you? Excuse me, sir?

Sir, could I have one of those beers

-that I was drinking earlier? -Of course.

-Thank you. -Whoops.

And, you know, I do like spicy, actually.

Sure you do.

No, like my-my dad liked camping.

Meaning that I don't?

Meaning that you do, but you know,

you just like it until the sun goes down.

And then you pretend like you're worried

about your daughter catching a cold

-and you blame it on her mother for... -

...not dressing her warmly enough so you can just go home

-and sleep in your own bed. -This is gonna feel like it's not related,

but the other day, I was driving past a drive-through,

and it reminded me that my father

would never, ever use drive-throughs.

He didn't have enough control over the situation.

So we'd have to park, we'd go inside,

and then he would just rule over the proceedings.

My dad, he would always call me

from another room, but he would never tell me what he wanted.

Right? So I'd have to just drop everything I was doing,

go to wherever he was, so he could be like,

"Water is wet."

Anytime anybody would bring up something that my father

didn't know, he would just start loudly blaring,

"How is this a topic of conversation?

Why is this interesting to anyone?"

One time I made the mistake

of saying that a movie that he liked was dated--

yeah-- and two hours later, he's screaming at me

about how he hopes he never needs a kidney,

because clearly, I would rather watch him fucking die.

That's a proportionate response.

-Yeah. -My dad was still complaining

till the day he died about the guitar he bought me

in fifth grade that didn't turn me into Eric Clapton.

When did that happen, by the way?

Were you already head of Major Crimes when he died?

Uh, no, no. Just about.

-And had he been head of Major Crimes? -Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, he was Chief Deputy D.A., which allowed him to pretend

-that Major Crimes was not a big deal. -Right.

And, of the 35-ish cases that I worked up to that point,

he did not come to see me try a single one.

He used say things that implied

that he'd been in court watching me on this or that day,

and eventually, people just believed him, so I let them.

Hmm. And what did Mike have to say about that?

Nothing. I never told him.

I mean...

I actually never told anybody.

: Well.

It's probably for the best.

Yeah, no, at this point, I'm pretty glad

-that he was never there. -No. No.

I mean because you're not as good

at your job as you think you are.

At least 40% of those wins, the jurors

were probably listening to a word you said.

They were too busy watching your mouth.

I'm going to the ladies' room.

-Yeah. She wasn't there.

-What? -The trunk. Sylvie Rubidoh's not in it.

-Oh, fuck this fucking shit. I'm going home. -

I wanted to ask you, uh...

what are your thoughts on Steve Park?

-Fraud Bureau Steve Park? -Yes.

I've been assigned to a case of his,

-but I've never met him, so... -Well,

um... smart guy.

Slightly an enormous asshole, but...

- : Okay. -...but a smart guy. Oh!

- -

-Oh, my God. -Come on, come on.

Sitzfleisch.

That's somebody who has patience

for a lot of mind-numbingly boring stuff.

They have sitzfleisch.

So, like, when I'm in case review, that's sitzfleisch?

Exactly. Yeah, "seat meat."

- -Oh, my favorite one

is when you eat too much because you're sad or lonely

and you-you put on a couple pounds of kummerspeck:

"Grief bacon."

Verschlimmbesserung,

that's when you make a bad situation worse.

Like you're trying to apologize to somebody

for calling them stupid and you accidentally call them old.

That is a weirdly specific example.

Pardon my arm.

Or when you

think about something that hasn't happened yet,

and all the ways that it could go: Kopfkino.

"Head cinema." The movie in your mind.

Thanks for the German lesson.

Feel like I could go over there and just fit right in.

Oh, yeah. Like a native. Seamless.

Go Huskies.

"Their fighting blood excels."

Thank you for tonight.