Modern Family

Muxed English Subtitles. Modern Family S06E18 (720p) Spring Break - Web-DL HI Removed.

You're still on that thing?

What are you constantly looking at on your computer?

Is that a question you really want people asking around here?

Indeed, it is not.

I'm just checking college acceptances.

I mean, they should be posting them any day.

You cannot spend your entire spring break

Worrying about college admissions.

You should go to that... that music festival thing with Haley.

Do something fun. Learn to relax a...

Do we have to keep every remote we have ever owned?

Somewhere in a landfill, a laserdisc just ejected.

Uh, I can't bring Alex to the festival

Because I am going for work to research new fashion trends.

I need to blend in, you know?

Everyone will think she's a cop.

Well, I could sit here and worry and ruin my day,

Or I could go with Haley and ruin hers.

I'll grab my sunscreen.

Good morning. Hey, dad.

I hate to shame you, but Haley woke up before you.

Well, Haley didn't run a 10k yesterday

To raise awareness for alopecia.

What's alopecia?

That is why I run.

Honey, I could really use your help

With spring cleaning today.

I got to get all these boxes down to the donation center.

Wish I could, but I've got work.

Then Luke and I have got some important trampolining to do.

I just love how equally we divide our responsibilities.

Figured we'd do a little father/son bonding

Since your school trip was canceled.

Oh. You can teach me the Dunphy tuck.

I love your enthusiasm, son, but it's way too dangerous.

One wrong move, and you're eating springs.

Oh, no, no, those are...

Is that my banjo? Hmm?

When I met this little lady sitting next to me,

It was love at first sight.

Yep, I've been noodling around on the ol' flyswatter

For a couple of years now.

I was inspired by the greats... Scruggs, kermit.

It's hard to practice, though,

Because it gets Claire so hot and bothered.

? What do you...?

I think I've heard enough.

Lucky for you, I've got time

For a couple verses of "shortnin' bread."

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, it's in the box. It's leaving the house.

I-I can never hear that awful thing again.

But you called me "banjovi." I know.

I did whatever was necessary to make it stop.

Wait. Does that mean you also didn't like my bagpiping?

Is that why we have Luke?!

It's not.

Is it?

Ay, Cam, no dessert for you? No, none for me.

I have to fit into a skintight cat costume tonight

Because I'm gonna...

Whatever you do behind closed doors

Is your own business.

Because I'm singing "memory" at the faculty follies.

It's a fundraiser

Where the teachers do a little talent show.

Ay, maybe I come see you.

I need to find something to watch

Since I had to give up my soap operas.

Oh, because you've been neglecting Joe?

No, it's because I asked Jay to stop smoking cigars,

And he said that he would quit

If I stopped watching the soap operas.

But it's very hard.

What's so damn hard?

It's the same thing every week...

Amnesia, evil twins,

Two ladies end up fighting in a fountain.

I mean, what is it? Is it some sort of an escape?

It's better than blowing smoke in our baby's face.

Where did he go, anyways?

Oh, there's an e-mail from Lily's scout Camp.

I hope everything's okay. She's fine.

Mitchell's nervous because he's not a Camper.

His idea of roughing it is a hotel stay

Where the cable doesn't get bravo.

They should tell you that when you check in.

Oh, boy. Okay, here's a photo, look.

She's using the signal. What signal?

The kids aren't allowed to call their parents,

But the Camp sends out photos, so we have a code.

Yeah, "we."

One finger, she's fine. Two fingers, she's unhappy.

Look at this... Two fingers.

I don't look at pictures on a phone.

If it's a good shot, get a print, put it in an album.

Interesting time to take a stand.

But she looks like she's just doing

The bunny ears behind her girlfriend.

Which is exactly what she would do

To get a secret signal past the authorities.

Okay, it's a scout Camp, not leavenworth.

She's smiling. What are you worried about?

Because it's her first time away from home. It...

You know what? That's probably it.

I'm just... I'm stressing out, so...

You know, I'm... I'm gonna go to the office

And pick up some paperwork.

You know what? I'm gonna tag along with you.

You can drop me off at the club.

I'm not really going to the office.

Don't care. Need a cigar.

Based off the walk I just took,

Side-boob is the new butt crack.

So, you want to head down front?

Alex!

Okay, you need to drink this.

I'll get a new one.

Uh, is there vodka in here?

If there is, it's not

Doing anybody any good until I get it in there.

Michelangelo talked about chiseling

Beautiful sculptures out of marble.

Well, my chisel is a long island iced tea,

And I use it to free the party girl from the block of nerd.

Music!!

Yeah!

Not all my sculptures are masterpieces.

Hey.

I'm ho...

Oh, amazing!

Honey, were you listening? Isn't he good?

Really good. Yeah.

Really good.

I... I thought you didn't like the banjo.

I didn't think I did, either,

But there's just something about the way he plays.

It's so... It's so musical.

Mm-hmm. So, what's this, a surprise for old dad?

You been secretly taking lessons for months, probably longer?

Nope. I just started messing around with it today.

And you learned a whole song.

Actually, he learned two! Play him the other one.

I'm good, thanks.

Are those my shoes?

I found them in the box of donations.

They fit him perfectly.

If anything, they're a little snug.

Well, he can kick them off,

'cause we are about to do some trampolining.

Time to learn the Dunphy tuck.

I thought you said he could get hurt doing that.

It's impossible to be safe all the time.

You can get hurt just walking into your own house.

Okay, I'm gonna go hang my costume up

In my dressing room and start warming up my voice.

Dressing room? Ay, show me.

I can't. It's the handicapped stall in the men's room.

But tonight is not about Cameron Tucker.

It's about the kids. ? me-me-me-me-me-me?

- Coach Tucker. - Señor kaplan.

Oh. What is that, a caveman costume?

No, I just signed up to sing "memory" from "cats."

Although I hope I'm not on after the "grease" chorus.

They're a tough act to follow.

"Memory"? But that is your song.

"Memory"? But that was his song. Two cat costumes?

Well, we can't both sing the same song.

I mean, that would make a mockery of the follies.

Oh, well, I sang last year.

Please, I insist... You sing.

He gave up his song. That was his song last year.

Fate will smile upon him.

You would do that for me?

This is literally the nicest gesture

I have ever witnessed... And I'm from canada.

I don't like this.

This is just like when rosalba and marisol

Found out that they were married to the same man.

Marisol backed down,

But she was found dead two days later.

Okay, Gloria, I think there's a chance

You're trying to turn a very normal situation

Into one of your soap operas.

Okay, but imagine...

A standing ovation for you will crush him!

You know what?

I'll only look better if I take the high road...

You know, help out backstage, let him have his moment.

Oh, my goodness!

The move you're about to see was first developed

By my great-great-great- grandfather razvan Dunphy,

But, really, it's as old as man's quest to fly.

It's just a flip with a twist, right?

There's a lot more going on,

But you won't be able to absorb it

The first time you see it.

Eins... Zwei... Drei...

No good. Okay.