Plain Clothes

Forget it, man. She hates your guts.

I can't talk now, I have to run. Bye!

Testing, testing.

We are now bombing Russia.

Where's the goddamn button?

What?

Oh!

Your SAT results are in, and frankly I'm damn depressed.

You know, if you people spent more time on the three R's

and less time onThe Three Stooges,

not so many of you would have to waste your time

at that damned Junior College across the street.

Uh, good morning.

These are the announcements for Monday, April 25th.

A note to all sophomore health students,

tomorrow at lunch, there will be a required screening of the film

Why Susie Can't Go Swimming in room 20.

God. Almighty deity or first half of a cuss word.

Find out tonight from Brother Mike at the Young Life rap session.

Where's Mr. Bradwood?

Who cares? BOY 1: Probably dropping his pen again.

Hey, anybody got the answers to the homework?

You're only cheating yourself.

You look used as usual, Stacy.

That's because I was with your boyfriend.

Hey, babe. You wanna sit on my lap?

Dream on!

Good morning, Mr. Bradwood.

Easy Grader.

Oh, god, look at his back.

Hey, does this mean class is canceled? - Ew!

All right, be quiet.

Hey! Hey! Shut up!

Now, Mr. Icey is very hot right now.

Mr. Icey does not like children,

so let's not piss him off anymore than he already is.

Ice cream.

You, the drooler. Go first.

I want a rainbow pop, please.

One rainbow pop.

There you go, that'll be 80 cents.

I'll have a fruit bar.

One fruit bar.

Give me the money.

Now get out of here. She took my money.

What? BOY: She took my money.

You're busted. Give me that.

I got it. Ed!

Freeze!

No, no, no, no, no. Ah!

You're a cop?

Surprise, surprise.

Maybe you should radio out for some back-up.

Up you go, miss. Ow!

Where've you been, Ed?

I was thirsty, Nick.

You mean they actually assign cops to this?

Tell me about it.

Get in there.

Hey Dunbar, bring me a cup of coffee, would ya?

Two sugars. Yes sir.

Go ahead, Nick. I'll get them started.

Pretty much the key guy around here, eh, Dunbar?

You did?

Oh, that's fine, baby. Yeah.

You did number two all by yourself?

Oh, mommy gave you your picture book.

Oh, that's fine, baby.

Oh, lookie here. Daddy'll be home about 6:00, okay?

I love you, sweetheart.

Bye, bye now.

My Maggie's first solo flight on the can.

You must be very proud, sir.

Oh, yeah.

Well, what's up?

Sir, it's about the assignments I've been getting.

What about them? You and Malmburg having maritals?

Oh, no, sir. Ed's great.

It's just that every gag we get

seems to involve kids of one breed or another.

Yeah, so?

So, I hate kids.

It is goddamn un-American to hate kids, Dunbar.

I can't help it. We just don't get along.

Never did. Even when I was a kid.

You are a kid.

Sir, I'm 24 years old.

That's hardly a... It's hot out there.

I got more homicides than I got hair right now.

The last thing I need is one of my own guys

coming in here creating new problems.

So if you have a bug up your ass

about working with kids, animals, or aliens, or whatever,

you better get over it.

Work it out, understand?

Yes sir.

Nick, you better pick up line 41 right away.

It's Dave Hechter over in homicide.

Hechter's in homicide?

Now how the hell does an idiot like that get a shot in homicide?

Nick.

He's saying that your brother Matt

knifed a teacher over in Ballard this morning.

What?

This is Dunbar.

Hechter, here. We have a very dangerous situation down here, Dunbar.

Your brother's flipped. He's got a hostage.

What?

Uh, SWAT's here. Gotta run.

Don't touch him. I'll be right there.

What are we doing at a kiddie park?

Matt works here.

Excuse me. Where's Dave Hechter?

Never, never land.

Look, Nick. This is how Hechter gets himself in the news.

Put one of your men in that Rub a Dub Dub

Three Men in a Tub, all right?

Where is he, Dave?

Keep your shirt on.

What the hell?

Dave?

Wait! Sargent, give me your vest. Yes sir.

Oh, come on, Dave, just tell me where he is,

I'll straighten this out, and we can go home.

Hold your horses, Dunbar.

Bullhorn.

He's up top of Rapunzel's tower. Let's go.

You stay here, Malmburg.

Couple of things you should know.

One, he's got a shotgun. What?

Two, he's got a hostage, a maintenance man named Sal.

Listen, we're having a hard time getting in touch with your mother.

What's her name, Bobbie?

Yeah, she's out of town.

Your dad with her?

My dad's dead. You know that.

Boy, you really put on a great show, Dave.

Matt Dun... What the hell? Turn that.

Turn that that way. Jesus.

Matt Dunbar!

This is the police. Your brother's coming up to talk to you.

Here he comes.

Nick'll straighten this out in two seconds.

Oh, I ain't worried, Matt.

Hey, Nick. Hello, Matt.

You all right? I didn't do anything.

Oh, I know you didn't.

Nice shirt. Thank you.

Uh, Nick, this is my hostage, Sal Becker.

Sal, this is my brother Nick.

Pleasure, Sal. My pleasure, Nick.

I help Sal out around here.

Yeah. I'm the one who told the cops Matt had a shotgun.

I figured that oughta keep them away.

Good thinking, Sal.

Nick, this, this is all just a really big misunderstanding.

I was in detention when Bradwood got killed.

For what?

For punching Mr. Bradwood.

There you go, Nick. Just a big misunderstanding.

See, that morning I wake up

and the first thing I find is a note from Mom saying

that she's gone backpacking in the Yucatan for two weeks,

with this guy, Fergie.

I'm two seconds late

and as usual, Bradwood is immediately on my case.

So you two didn't get along.

And then he springs this quiz on us.

And I'm like super ready for a quiz, Nick.

I mean all I had for breakfast was a Twinkie.

So you cheated.

Bradwood catches me, he stands me up in front of the whole class

and tells everybody it's no wonder I'm such a loser,

I cheated my way through life.

So you punched him.

No, I told him he was full of shit. So he slapped me.

So then you punched him.

You're damn right. I told him I'd kill him

if he ever touched me again.

You told him you'd kill him?

I'm sorry, Nick.

It's all right.

Look,

if everything you said is true,

then you got nothing to worry about.

Sal, you gonna help me out here, or what?

All right.

Okay. Look, we're going to go out there now.

Now I promise you,

nobody's going to hurt you.

Nah, I trust you, Nick.

I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me.

All right.

Okay, we're coming out. He's unarmed.

Come out with your hands behind your heads.

Okay, don't worry about it. Stay right with me.

Okay, just walk toward me.

It's all right.

Stop right there. Hey, what is this?

What is this? Hechter, what is this?