American Dad!

Thanks again for having us over, guys.

Your home is beautiful! They could shoot pornos here!

They have.

This B-B-Q is the least we can do.

Your son defended Toshi's honor at school!

Oh, it was nothing.

Anyone could've helped him vandalize that lunch lady's car.

Oh! Oh, Toshi, one of these days,

you'll have to teach me Japanese.

Hideki, my man, I gotta say I'm lovin' it here!

Your house is gigantic, your pool is dangerously deep,

and I like how you're wearing dress shoes and socks

with your Speedo. Powerful look.

Gonna run to the bathroom.

So you know, this is a massive sign of respect.

I usually just go in the pool, even at home.

Especially at home. When I'm not swimming.

Where's the bathroom? They have to dump somewhere.

Unless I was supposed to go in the pool.

Hideki's got an archery range?!

Stan, are you pooping or snooping?

I would, too.

We have a lot of great stuff!

That's our weekend kitchen...

This room's just an insanely soft rug to stand barefoot on

while you listen to the Indigo Girls.

And Triangle Room.

But you have a triangular room.

Why didn't you put your triangles in there?

Oh, Stan!

You have truly created comedy.

Thank you.

You know, a lot of people don't get my comedy.

For instance, me right now.

Damn, someone's blowing up.

Think that's you, Jeff.

"Yo, doggy, wanna join me

for a one-on-one guys' weekend out in the country?

Peace, love, and titties, Klaus."

Why don't we have a house like Hideki's?!

This place sucks compared to theirs!

I think it's perfect here, Dad!

I'm just grateful for everything we have.

Then you're a fool, Steve.

I don't even wanna think about what Hideki

would say about this dump.

Well, you're gonna find out.

I invited him over for dinner this weekend.

You did what?! Hideki can't come here.

He'll think I'm a loser!

And look at this wall! This place is falling apart!

How could you do this to me?!

Mother, which day are the Yoshidas coming?

You see, traditionally, I take a Sunday stroll, and I...

We all know about your precious Sunday strolls.

Don't worry. It's Saturday.

Y-es!

I'm sorry we got interrupted by...

whatever all that was.

Think over my offer, Jeff. I'll be in my alcove.

I think you know where it is.

I don't know what to do, babe.

Things tend to get weird when I hang out

with Mr. Klaus unsupervised.

But it'll be really weird if you tell him you can't go.

He knows you have nothing going on.

- Everyone knows. - They do?

That's... flattering!

I'm so screwed!

Hideki's like the coolest guy I know.

I can't entertain him in this shitbox!

But this is an easy fix. Just go buy some new stuff.

With what money? I'm barely keeping my head above water.

No, dummy, not real money. Throw it on a credit card!

That's the beauty of credit. You buy now, you pay later.

Or maybe never!

I wish I could, but the credit-card companies

froze me out after I maxed out 12 cards last summer

trying to cut my teeth on the Funny Car circuit.

Oh. Well, then, yeah,

Hideki's gonna laugh at your clown ass.

Thank you! You get it. No one else does.

I got Steve down there telling me everything's "perfect"

when it clearly isn't.

- Such a dick. - Such a dick.

Easy for him to talk.

He's never had to deal with financial responsibility.

Right? He's never had to pay off three credit cards

with seven other credit cards. He's never had one.

Just letting his virgin credit sit there like a lazy bum.

And it's that dick's fault you're in this jam.

He's Toshi's friend.

You're right. Come on.

- We're going to the airport. - Airport?

Seems odd, but I'm with ya, Stan.

Think we'll see any luggage while we're there?

Sorry. I got held up at security.

That was expensive tea, and I wasn't just gonna throw it away.

So, why are we here anyway?

For this.

I thought you couldn't get credit cards anymore?

I can't. Hi. I'd like to sign up for a teen credit card.

My name is Steve Smith.

Hijacking your son's credit? Love it!

Hey, did you buy two boarding passes

just to come get a credit card here?

You know you can do it online, right?

You can? Oh, my God, I'm ruined!

This is working great!

Why doesn't everyone steal their son's identity?

Because Instagram makes people feel like they

have to be "good" parents.

So, what do ya think? Grab a couple lava lamps

and a fat stack of Mad magazines for the coffee table,

- call it a day? - Stan, Hideki's fancy.

You need to deck your place out classy

if you want to impress a guy like him.

Yes, yes, of course. Like how?

Well, nothing screams "I'm a cool rich guy"

like art and crystals.

And, to be honest, crystals are just a good investment anyway.

They're not just beautiful.

They channel energy, have healing properties.

They're really magnificent little objects.

You clearly have a handle on this.

You stay here and buy whatever's going to impress Hideki.

I'm gonna head back and get started on the dinner menu.

I'm thinkin' we scampi everything.

Great. But before you go, watch this cool prank.

- Hey! - I got caught!

I'm sorry. We got off on the wrong foot.

I'm Roger. How 'bout I buy you a fresh dog?

I get up to Lake Wittenberg every summer.

It's so sick. You'll see.

And this is the Pig Pen Bar & Grille.

Had some good nights at the Pen with Perry and the boys.

My local crew, we're like brothers.

Unfortunately, he's away this weekend.

But we'll still kill it. This place is quaint as hell.

This house is only 400K.

You know, Jeff, if you kicked in $399,000,

we'd only need 1K from another source.

Oh. It sounds like the Pig Pen is goin' off!

Sorry, private party.

Wait. Is that Perry?

Perry! Get your dumb ass over here!

I thought you were gone, bro? This is great news!

Yeah. This is actually my rehearsal dinner.

Smart. I wish I had a rehearsal for this ice cream.

He's funny.

You're getting married without your boy Klaus?

We're just having a small thing.

But I'm like 3 inches in size.

It doesn't get any smaller than me!

Sorry, man.

This is outrageous. We're boys!

I should be at that wedding.

I should be giving a speech, saying things like,

"Now that you're married, your dick is in prison!"

Sorry, Mr. Klaus.

I'm sure he just completely forgot you existed.

He can't get married without me.

So I guess that means he won't be getting married.

Oh, hey, since I drove, do you mind

tossing me a few bucks for gas?

Just like $200.

Think we got enough stuff?

Stan, we got everything we need.

The crystals are assaulting this place

with good energy as we speak.

Something's different.

Stan, did you get a haircut?

No, it's the decor! I love it, Dad!

Thank you, son. Someday, it may all belong to you.

That day is today.

You've got this! And one final charge-up.

You can't be too careful these days.

Hi, guys! Come on in.

What is it, Hideki?

It's just, I prefer minimalism.

So all this badly hurts my eyes.

Lead me to the dining area.

So, I have a funny story.

Guess who invited Snot up to his hotel room last night?

Pete Rose! Yeah.

- So what happened was... - How's the food, Hideki?

The meat loaf is a bit... stupid.

You mean the... scampi loaf?

Is there anything better than two men

sipping brandy in the master bedroom?

Cigar?

This is the warmest room in the house.

Feel free to take your shirt off.

Thanks for coming. I hope you had a nice time, Hideki.

Stan, I had... an above-average time.

Thank you, and goodbye.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

He had an above-average time!

There used to be a fly in this wine.

Why are we looking for Perry again?