Girls

I talked to George and I'm keeping everything that he paid for.

- He wants me to. And, wait, that's... - Everything.

I know, I know, I know. I am livid that it has come to this.

- You can't pay for anything... - Just say it!

Just fucking say it.

I'm a loser.

I'm a fucking loser in a lot of ways, Shoshanna, you know that?

What makes me worth fucking anything?

I am falling in love with you.

This is the worst mistake I've ever made.

You're a ridiculous person.

And you're just a whore

with no work ethic.

Hey, I'm seeing someone.

Which someone?

- Booth Jonathan. - Oh.

What?

Okay, I'm pretty sure I invented it,

and I'm kind of freaking out.

"Sexit."

- Sexit? - Sexit.

Like, to leave in the middle of sex? Is that what it means?

You would think that's what it meant, but, no.

What I'm thinking is you leave a party

or another public event in order to go have sex.

You're making a sexy exit.

That's a sexit.

Use it in a sentence.

Uh, let's see.

Ray, wanna leave this bar?

It's lame, but our vibe is on.

Let's just make a quick sexit.

I don't wanna do that with you.

- I'm just showing you how I'd use it. - Okay.

And what makes you so sure you came up with this word?

Uh, 'cause I've never heard anyone else say it,

because I think if someone had said it,

it would have gone completely viral,

like "Booty call."

Right.

If only there was a modern machine

that could answer that question for us.

Urban dictionary defines a sexit as, quote,

"to make a speedy or hasty exit

in the middle of sexual intercourse;

to end intercourse prematurely

and just peace out.

Also known as a French exit."

I've never heard anyone use it.

That's because it's awful.

Hi. Could I speak with the manager?

Yeah, I'm the manager.

Great. Hey.

- Excuse me. - Sorry.

I live two blocks thataway in a house,

and I think someone from this place

is leaving their trash in my cans.

Mm-hmm. And why would they do that,

considering we have our own dumpster?

I know, right? That's why it's so weird.

And how are you so convinced it's our trash?

The coffee grounds, old bags of pastries,

some bills with your address on them.

It's not a ton of trash, but it's more than I want in my cans.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know what to say, man.

I'm the manager. We have our own dumpster.

Unless someone's taking trash from our dumpster

and putting it in your cans for fun...

Well, I don't know whose idea of fun that would be.

Listen, I'd just love it if you could make it stop.

Oh, yeah? You'd love that?

Look, I can only control what I can control.

Right, which is where your employees

put your business's trash.

I trained all of my employees personally, professionally.

Each and every one of them.

Even this one over here,

which wasn't fuckin' easy.

Hi.

Hi.

Yeah, I don't mean to point fingers here.

I just get a little frustrated

when I can't fit my own garbage in my garbage can

because somebody else's is in there.

You can understand that, right?

Ray, maybe there is a world in which...

Maybe we should just talk

and talk and talk and talk

and talk about this all day.

The problem seems to be I don't know how to satisfy you.

It's an unsolved mystery. I can't solve it for you.

I don't understand why your attitude

has been so flip since the moment I walked in.

- Flip? - I was hoping we could talk,

neighbor to neighbor.

Neighbor to neighbor!

What a world we'd live in

if we could talk to each other neighbor to neighbor.

Just lean against the fence and crack open a frosty one

and cup each other's balls and sing "Kumbaya."

Wake up! Fucking pinko.

Man: Listen... listen to me, fun-times-guy.

I don't know where you get off behaving this way,

but I do know that twice a month you have a band play here

and you serve liquor without a license.

Now, that is information that, up until now,

I have chosen not to use.

Have fun with that information. Enjoy that information.

Take a big fucking bite out of that information.

You know what happened the last time we had a show here?

There was a police officer in attendance.

Third row. Right at the show. You know why he came?

'Cause he likes to see me play the fucking body drums.

- That's why. - I don't even know what you're doing.

Corporal percussion.

Is there something we could get you?

Like, maybe a cup of coffee?

Yes! How about an empty fucking trash can?

That's what I want!

Get that through your thick head.

What a fucking meatball.

Jesus Christ, that's depressing.

I do not know why you were just so awful to him.

I was awful to him?

That was horrible to watch.

This is a toxic work environment.

You know what? I'm out. I'm out.

Are you fucking serious?

Dead serious.

You just gonna make a rash sexit like that?

Yup.

What the fuck you guys looking at?

Go back to your panda videos

before I turn off the wi-fi.

Man: Hey.

Hey.

Do I know you?

Oh, I work at grumpy's

where you just were.

Oh.

I'm sorry I exploded at your manager,

but he's lucky I didn't beat his ass.

Completely.

Honestly, I would do it to him if I could,

but I'm not in the position, um, to do that.

I have something to tell you.

Okay.

Just thinking about the right way to phrase this.

Do you want to come in?

Oh, uh...

I don't think that's a very good idea.

I mean, you're basically a complete stranger to me,

so, you know,

could really be putting myself in, like, a Ted Bundy situation.

He also looked handsome, clean, and probably...

Had a brownstone.

Okay.

Okay, this place is unbelievable.

Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's coming.

You want a glass of lemonade?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I didn't even know houses like this existed in my neighborhood.

Well, it takes a little doing.

I was gonna add a solarium off the back,

but my plans have stalled for a moment.

- I feel like I'm in a Nancy Meyers movie. - Thanks.

I think.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

So, what's up?

Oh, with me? Um, let's see.

Just been working all day. Since 9:00 A.M.

- ( Laughs ) - Thinking about some ideas for things.

Oh, you mean, like, what I wanna talk to you about.

- Yeah. - Gotcha. Um...

Okay, so you're not insane.

I mean, you're probably somewhat insane,

like we all are, but in this specific instance

with the trash and grumpy's, you're not,

'cause I did it.

You did it?

I do it...

Put trash places it shouldn't legally go.

It's kind of like my vice.

Why?

I think it actually makes a lot of sense if I describe it to you,

which is that ray leaves work early.

I'm supposed to take out the trash.

But I lost my dumpster key.

And you saw for yourself what a total fuckin' dick he can be.

I didn't feel like telling him,

so I started looking for places to put it.

Right.

You know? And it's just your house, it was close enough,

but it was also far enough

and I really liked what the outside looked like.

You know, that's how it started.

So you're just trying to save your own ass.

Okay, I'm really sorry.

- It's fine. - It won't happen again.