Slip

I know it's a bit of a mess.

Come. Come, come, come.

Do you want some tea?

Sorry, I... I know this is probably overkill.

I was just putting out some food.

Just snacks, you know,

in case you were feeling peckish.

You don't have any dietary restrictions, do you?

No.

Great. I don't either.

Well, I... I don't do dairy, gluten, or soy,

but they're not allergies.

You know, at restaurants,

when they ask you if it's an allergy,

and it can feel so shaming because you have to be like,

"No, it's a food sensitivity," which is, of course, lady code

for "I'm worried about being bloated."

Not that I am...

I have a very healthy self-image.

It's... it's really more about like inflammation earnestly.

Right.

Okay. So, uh, tea.

I made a matcha.

We brought it back from Japan.

We went there for our honeymoon... have a seat...

two years ago now, which I mean,

it seems like literally yesterday

that we met our... our friends.

And, well... well, we were set up.

So, you know how that goes.

I-I... I've actually never--

Carrots. Ugh. I'm sorry.

You know, we were, um,

we were expecting you a little later.

So anyway, I wasn't so sure at first, you know.

I just got out of a pretty serious relationship,

so I was a little gun-shy.

Elijah, on the other hand,

and you know how it is with guys.

I have just always been drawn to the ones

who kind of made me work for their affection,

which is, you know, as my therapist says,

an attempt to repair

the "trauma bonds of my childhood..." Little T.

Not that I had a traumatic childhood.

It-it was really totally standard.

Uh, I mean, my parents separated when I was 12

and continued living together until I was 17.

But ultimately, it was a very loving household.

Um, brie?

- Uh, no, thank you. - But, you know, Elijah,

he was persistent and so romantic.

I... I fell pretty hard once I let myself.

He's just... he's so wonderful, you know, like, truly.

I mean, you know the kind of guy

who, like, stands up at a restaurant

when you go to the bathroom? Like, I had never...

That level of whatever it is, like, like manners, I guess.

But more than that, like mindfulness, really.

Hm. Will you eat hummus?

I'm actually not very hungry.

Okay. Who knows. You might change your mind later.

But I just grew to realize

that I had never experienced that in a man.

Like, I had somehow tricked myself into believing

that love looked like a completely different...

Like, it was the sort of lethal one-two punch of,

of seduction and withdrawal.

Those cycles that are...

are really at the core of any addiction.

And I use the term loosely, little A,

but just that push and pull

that ultimately leaves you feeling empty,

you know, once the high is worn off.

I have never done drugs.

Um, I smoked pot once in college,

but it made me so paranoid I never tried it again.

Um... Once I accidentally tried heroin, I just snorted it.

Someone told me it was Ritalin.

I thought I was taking it to finish a paper.

I made a bread. It's a sourdough.

The, uh, the starter is actually from the 1900s.

- It's pretty cool. - Oh.

Ultimately, you know,

it just boils down to trust, right?

Which I mean, you know,

as women, is just this total emotional minefield.

Like my mom, she was a real second-wave feminist

and I say that with a capital F.

Like, I could barely walk and she was telling me

never to share my finances with a lover

because he will leave you for a younger woman

and rob you blind, she said,

so I just went the opposite route.

I rebelled by being too trusting.

So, of course, I got burned,

but it's our nature to be trusting

and sadly, it is men's nature to put themselves first.

And I know, I know you might think

that is too binary a perspective.

And it is, it is, it is essentialist really and...

and in today's postmodernist, you know, we should really...

But... my analyst actually says

that this is my fatal flaw,

trying to just like sort out the world into dualities.

I stopped seeing her, by the way. No hard feelings.

I just, I didn't love her office.

But with Elijah, it was like this very healing

course correct, if that makes any sense.

I'm sorry. I'm talking so much.

I just, uh, I feel like these are things

you're gonna want to know, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Why don't I show you the house?

So, this is the living room.

This, uh... this was my idea.

I hired someone on Task Rabbit.

This couple showed up, perfectly nice, presentable.

They were here for like eight hours,

and... oh, my God, I have to check on the frittata.

Anyway, about a month later,

I come down here to grab one of Elijah's books of poetry,

and... they'd inscribed every single one.

Jesus.

That's right, literally. Jesus in every one.

I mean, they did it in pencil, so technically, I...

I could have erased them all, but there's just something

so wild about the whole thing,

I figured, "Eh." Good party story anyway.

Okay. Uh, let's... let's go upstairs.

Elijah despises the pillows,

but I just find them so regal, you know?

And I get it, taking them off every night,

putting them back on in the morning

feels sort of futile,

but everything in life is when you think about it,

so why not have a fucking throw pillow or two?

So, this is currently Elijah's office,

but obviously, we're really excited to rethink it.

I'm sorry. Um...

look, I know I sound insane,

talking a mile a minute. This isn't...

I'm usually much more grounded. Whatever.

It's just...

I have been so nervous in the weeks leading up to this.

And Elijah, he... he gets it, he does,

but I just wanted everything to be so perfect

so that you could see.

And now you're... you're finally here.

And, um...

This is just a big deal for us. It has been so painful,

as I'm sure you can imagine,

to just, to try and try.

We really want this baby.

We deserve this baby.

And I promise you we will be the most loving,

devoted, selfless parents that her mom could wish for.

Uh...

Elijah must have forgotten his key.

Will you excuse me?

Hello, can I help you?

I'm Regina Moss from the adoption agency.

We're scheduled for a house visit today.

Um, there must be some mix-up.

Um, I'm sorry, this is very confusing.

Did I get the time wrong?

Who the hell are you?

I am calling the police!

Shit!

Hello. This woman came into my house

pretending to be a social worker from an adoption agency.

Get back here!

I... I don't know what she's sussing it out for,

maybe a robbery.

Hey! Hey!

Listen, lady!

Get off me!

Hi! Oh, my God!

I didn't see you there, sir.

And I am locked out of my brownstone.

I was wondering if maybe I could go through yours

just to meet the locksmith on the street.

Sure.

Hey, thank you so much.

You're most welcome.

You... you, uh, take care of yourself, okay?

That's her!

- Hey! - Sorry!

Hey, stop!

- - Ooh.

Sorry.