How to Rock

Cut. Cut. Cut.

Excuse me.

Why are you chomping on a carrot.

While we're trying to perform here?

Because it's lunchtime,

And this is the lunch my mommy made me.

When the most popular group in school's rehearsing,

You should have the decency to sit there and eat in silence.

Sorry, Kacey.

Try yogurt. It's a quiet food.

I think people that eat lunch during lunch are redic.

Totes ridic.

Let's focus.

If we're going to win the talent show next week,

Our dance moves are gonna have to be sharp.

We'll need to be perfect.

Well, of course we're gonna be perfect.

We're The Perfs.

That's true.

We're The Perfs because we have...

Perf power!

Hey, look, there's the new kid.

Who just transferred to our school.

His name is Zander.

We're lab partners in science.

That boy can grow some fungus.

- Hey, Kacey. - Hey, Zander.

Uh, what's with the ukulele?

I'm a musician. I put together a killer band.

Yeah, it looks to me like you put your guitar in the drier.

Zander.

We're not really allowed to hang out with Kacey and The Perfs.

Perfs? What's a perf?

It's the abbreve for "perfect."

Hello?

Do not tell me Kevin.

And Nelson are in your "killer band."

Sure are, and they rock.

We rock all night long, once even past 11:00.

Gravity 4 is gonna win the talent show here next week.

Your band's name is "gravity 4"?

That's right, because like gravity, we...

Hold it down.

Hold what down?

Things that would otherwise possibly float.

Oh.

I have decided, as of tomorrow,

Sandals are back in, but flip-flops are out.

Yes, Kacey.

Um, Kacey, is that something.

We all should be doing with our lip gloss?

What?

Oh. That's not right.

You've been squinting a lot.

Is something wrong with your eyes?

They're fine.

Welcome to Danny mango's.

Would you like to sample our new kiwi colada?

Hello, loserberry.

You know my name's Stevie.

Loserberry.

You three are at the mall all the time,

And all you do is shop and pose.

Don't you have any hobbies?

We like to shop...

And pose.

Yeah. Peace out, girl scout.

It must be awesome to be Kacey Simon.

It is.

- Beautiful. - Right.

- Stylish. - Right.

- Most hated girl in school. - Ri... what?

Most hated girl, you.

Peace out, girl scout.

Are you sure there's nothing wrong with your eyes?

I said they're fine.

Now let's go shop and pose.

Ah!

My tooth.

Kacey Simon, you need glasses.

What?

Kacey Simon, you need braces.

What?

Kacey, you're so brave coming to school today.

Grace, she can't speak. She has laryngitis.

It's not like she forgot to exfoliate.

Hey, Kacey. Looking good.

Spencer yates is so into you.

It's her.

She says, "of course he's into me.

I'm Kacey Simon."

I can totally imagine that coming out of her mouth.

Okay, class, let's take our seats.

Let's pick it up in 1775, when our founding fathers.

Went to King George III and said, "what's up, kg tre?"

And then he, in turn, sent the British Navy.

Over to the colonies,

And they delivered a royal "what's up?" to who?

Kacey.

- Oh, hi, Mr. March? - Hi.

Kacey can't speak. She has laryngitis.

Very well, miss Simon.

Now, a lot of things were leading up to this.

We had the first continental congress,

Or as I like to call it, cc numero uno.

We had the stamp act, Boston massacre,

Intolerable acts laws.

It's not for you, you freak!

Can't talk, huh?

Well, now you're gonna come up here,

And you're gonna read to the whole class.

About Paul revere's "what's up?

Head's up. The British are coming."

Or you're gonna fail this class big-time.

I was thinking maybe today.

Face 'em.

She's... She's wearing glasses.

She's... She's wearing braces.

What's up with that?

"in 1775..."

Kacey Simon just spit in my mouth!

What's wrong with you,

You four-eyed, metal-mouth freak?

Stay.

It's okay. It's okay.

Where have you been?

I called for a code-four, level-nine,

Super-secret emergency meeting ten minutes ago!

This isn't really an emergency for us.

This is more of an emergency for you.

We just have to downplay it.

It really isn't that big of a deal.

Oh, it's a big deal, Kacey.

The whole world knows that you're wearing braces.

And glasses, that you're "lithping,"

And that you just loogied into the mouth.

Of one of the hottest boys in school.

Epic fail.

Being seen with you would be social suicide,

So we're gonna have to ask you to leave our bathroom.

Your bathroom?

Who banned all losers from using it?

Me. Moi. Ha.

And who bribed the tech nerds to build us this?

Me.

And who converted the middle stall into a spray tan booth?

I thought that came with the school.

It was me.

I built this perf palace,

And there is no way that I'm just gonna give it up.

You just don't get it, so I'll spell it out.

Kay?

You're not welcome here because you're no longer perfect.

What?

We're gonna win the talent show without you,

And the whole school will know we didn't need Kacey Simon.

She needed us.

Peace out, girl scout.

Hey, "peace out, girl scout" is my thing.

So now that you've hit bottom,

Don't you think it's the perfect time.

To get a nice, big slice of Andy pie?

I will never, ever be hungry enough.

To want a slice of Andy pie.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm Kacey Simon, the most popular girl in school.

Not anymore you're not.

- Where did you get this? - There.

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, we're burying you.

Hey, look, everybody, it's the queen of braces and glasses.

There's Kacey Simon!

No, guys, stop. Please.

Hey, Kacey, over here!

Stop! Cut it out! Stop it!

Hey! Hey! Everybody!

Mr. March got his head stuck in the faculty toilet.

To the faculty toilet!

Thanks.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

This is the one part of school where no one will find you.

Smells like old custodian in here.

Leaving.

Relax.

We rehearse in here.

Ah, yes, you and your dorko band.

Hey, we are not dorkos.

Check out my new ride. My sister gave me a bike.

And I got to ride in the basket.

Sweet.

Lots of musicians ride pink bikes.

Very rock and roll.

Whoa.

What's Kacey Simon doing here?

I was thinking, since you just got dumped by your friends,

Maybe you want to be the lead singer of our band.

Please, it's gonna take a whole lot more than braces.

And glasses to get me to join your lame band.

First of all, we don't care if you have braces and glasses.

Second, don't you want to win the talent show?