How I Met Your Murderer

Hey crime fans.

It's time for everyone's favorite podcast.

"How I met your murderer" with Mack Meyer.

Well, hello, dear listener.

Our story begins on that most fateful of nights

in a young person's life.

Prom night.

For some, prom is the best night of their lives.

But the idyllic fantasy is not so for everyone.

How could you?!

One night can seem perfect, frozen in time.

But is it real,

or is that just the story that we tell?

We think we may know someone,

but looks can be deceiving.

Just leave me alone!

The brutal truth is,

that everything,

please, let me go!

Love, youth, infatuation?

Everything ends.

You know, getting in the water helps.

But I keep bumping into people.

I can't swim in a straight line.

You know, keep your head straight

then put your pinkies 11 and one.

I promise, that'll help.

Thanks!

I am such a big fan of the podcast.

I love this week's episode on the night stalker.

I listen to it before bed

which is not the best idea, but

you have such a soothing voice.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Gross?

So it must be good for me.

You know, I think you're the only real friend I've made since I've moved here.

Trust takes time, my mom says.

I know school's not easy

when you're the weird murder mystery girl.

I am that girl!

Must be why we're friends.

I still have no idea how I ended up

with the captain of the football team.

How does that compute?

Oh, right.

Didn't he go here?

I think my parents know him.

He did.

He was even prom king.

Can I come by your studio sometime?

You better.

It's a date.

I gotta run.

Don't stay up all night listening to crime podcasts.

I definitely wanna be there for your episode

on the blue ribbon killer.

The what?

According to Andie, the blue ribbon killer

drowned three women in one summer.

It all started the summer after Henry finished high school.

- Foul play? - And unsolved.

How did we not know about this?

Okay, this is the best thing about you moving here.

Besides the super cush digs.

Pretty great, right?

For a house you inherited from your mother-in-law,

it's pretty incredible.

I wish I got to know her better.

Yeah.

And of course the best reason for the move

is more time with Henry.

How could I forget?

No, but seriously, I'm thinking multi part series.

Or your first book.

Are you?

Mhmm.

Tape first, then talk.

And even though his crimes took place

over the span of 13 years,

it would be more than 32 years later

before he was finally charged.

And that, dear listener, is our episode

on the golden state killer.

Remember, stay safe and keep your eyes and ears peeled.

Lest we forget, Liz Kloepfer,

Ted Bundy's ex-girlfriend.

Despite all the signs, she ignored her intuition

and didn't see what was right in front of her.

Look how that ended up.

Women, we are smarter than this.

So, for any of you murderers listening,

this is your warning.

We are onto you.

Please share your thoughts with me on social media

and more importantly, you can share them with me

in person at our upcoming live taping.

As always, I'm Mack Meyer.

June Kim is our fearless producer,

and we're signing off.

Au revoir. - Oh, wait, wait.

What, too uppy?

Before we go, I wanna let you all know

how much I've been enjoying Pauletto protein powder

after my workouts.

Serves up the protein and electrolytes you need,

taste like my husband's gym shorts in a blender.

It tastes great.

Make sure to use the code "murderer protein"

for a 15% discount at checkout.

As always, thanks for listening

to "how I met you murderer".

Au revoir, and watch your back.

And how exactly would you know

what Henry's shorts taste like?

Vivid imagination.

So, first recording in the new Clarksville digs.

Yeah, how did it feel?

You know, lacks the energy of the city.

But, beats sharing a studio

with that Lego rubbing ASMR guy. (Laughing)

Oh wait, I forgot to mention.

- Did you see the comment board yesterday? - No, what's up?

Someone claiming to be related

to a victim of the lover's Lane psycho

is miffed about what you said.

What did I say?

After seeing a picture of Neil Kincaid,

I can see why he was chosen by the killer.

Exquisite bone structure.

It was a compliment! And he does have exquisite bone structure.

That's fine, I'll delete it.

We had over 400,000 downloads last month

so your words are bound to ruffle some feathers.

No, leave it.

Everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Someday your tombstone's gonna read

"was always nice to psychos."

One can only hope.

Okay, lets dig deep on this blue ribbon thing.

Victim profiles, mos.

Research and pad Thai.

Oooh. - Yum.

I don't know.

You know we're halfway through the Bundy segment

for the live taping.

And I came here to focus on my marriage,

not get wrapped up in another story.

Blue ribbon's not going anywhere.

Besides,

this afternoon, we find out.

About the in vitro?

Yes, I'm so sorry I forgot.

Look, don't worry about it.

You got this one, babe.

We're both ready for some good news.

This doesn't mean all hope is lost.

We do have other options to consider.

How is it possible nothing is taking?

We're doing everything you told us to.

We're not eating processed foods, we're exercising,

we're not drinking.

Not everyone takes on the first,

or even the second time.

We have to continue trying.

I'm sorry, I have to take this.

Evelyn, has the deposition been approved?

I'm sorry about him.

It's a very important case.

Please continue.

I was just saying, not everyone takes on the first

or even the second time.

But that should not discourage you

from continuing this process.

I know how passionate the two of you are

and you're very much involved.

Just a talking show.

Hey, I gotta go, okay? I'll call you back.

Mack!

MacKenzie!

MacKenzie!

Do you know how humiliating that was?

Mack, this is my first chance to sit lead chair with the partners.

You know what this means to me.

Are you even disappointed that the in vitro didn't work?

Of course I'm upset.

How can you say that?

I want us to have the life that we've always wanted.

How could we have the life that we've always wanted

when you're never here?

If I drive back from the city every night,

it's barely three hours of sleep.

We're in the middle of a trial, Mack.

Ugh.

Your work wife's calling again.

Yeah, you're really going after Evelyn now?

Well you only talk about her

every five minutes. - Yeah we only work together.

Yeah, that hasn't stopped you before.