Taskmaster NZ

Ta-da!

Oh!

Nutsack!

All right!

Welcome, friends, to the seventh episode of Taskmaster.

My name's Jeremy Wells, and I am the Taskmaster.

Many months ago, I invited five comedians to attempt a series of tasks

I left for them at a secret location.

All of these tasks were designed to test them in unique ways,

and none involve any transferable skills they can bring over into real life.

At the end of the season, one competitor will be crowned Taskmaster Champion,

and they will receive this majestic head,

which they can surgically implant onto their neck or just put on a bookshelf.

Let's introduce our contestants. They are and always are

Angella Dravid

Brynley Stent

Guy Williams

Leigh Hart

and Madeleine Sami.

And to my left, a man who is in many ways the receptionist of Taskmaster,

nothing would get done without him. It's Paul Anthony Williams.

No, we don't.

No, we don't.

No, we don't.

We don't.

We don't.

Paul, using your speaking voice,

please do us the honour of introducing this week's prize task.

Sure thing, Jeremy Wells.

Each contestant was asked to bring along something to contribute to our prize haul.

This week, we're after quite a specific prize-

the worst thing to show the Taskmaster.

- Ooh. - Ooh.

The Taskmaster will decide which prize is best,

or in this case, the worst thing to show him,

and that person will get five points.

The person with the most points at the end of the show

will walk away with all five things. Capeesh?

Is that to me?

- Yes. Capeesh? - Yes, capeesh.

Who's up first? Angella.

I brought a book

that's filled with comments of what Taskmaster's going to be like.

It's a bit- yeah.

So that's- that's one comment.

'Won't be as good as the UK one.'

'They chose someone who isn't remotely funny.'

That one's anonymous.

Oh, there's another one.

'I'm sure he's a nice guy,

but I personally think he is a reminder of how New Zealand needs to move on.'

Oof.

It's gonna be interesting to see the scoring tonight, Jeremy.

It's a good start to this prize task, you've gotta say. Leigh.

Yes.

- What did you bring in? - I don't think I can match that.

Look, I know you are a history fan, so what I've brought in is a bit of memorabilia.

It's this camera from the Hillary expedition, and

this may have dick pics from Sherpa Tensingon it.

So you're assuming this is something that I don't want to see.

At this stage, yeah.

Well, I think it's a good thing that you don't

see it, but they haven't been developed yet.

I don't know if they're on there. I'm just guessing if

they were gonna be anywhere, that's where they'd be.

And who knows. I think it's best.

It's like Pandora's Box. We leave that one shut.

So it's up to you what you do with it.

The power's in your hands, Jeremy.

Guy, what have you brought in that I don't wanna see?

My biggest fear is that people find out what my pillows look like

when they don't have the pillow cases on them,

cuz they are, like, absolutely horrific.

And so what I've done, bravely,

to win this task, I've actually pulled out one of my pillows

and brought it along today.

That's right. You hear that reaction? That's first place, baby.

Mads, do you think you can beat that?

I have brought in for you today

something I found in my mother's garage,

and that is approximately 300 fossilized daddy long-legs.

So that was just a disgusting thing. I hate spiders,

and I'm hoping that you hate spiders as much as I do.

Madeleine Sami, Te Karere.

Brynley, what did you bring in that I don't wanna see?

I wrote an email to a very close personal friend,

and I've got a lovely video for you.

Hello, New Zealand. It is I, the Taskmaster.

I've been asked to send a video saying what I think of Jeremy Wells.

Well, I'll tell you what I think of Mr. Wells.

I think he's doing a good job.

Or I did until I got this video request, because

it's a contestant attempting to humiliate you.

You gotta clamp down on these people, Jeremy.

Clamp down on them.

They're not there to have fun. Do you understand?

They're just comedians.

Shut them down and make them work.

I'll leave it at that. Don't make me come to New Zealand.

Gotta say, there's some pretty confronting stuff in there.

- Mm. - But I will take Greg's word for it there,

and I will come down hard on you, and I'm gonna give you one point.

Oh, mate!

When I saw the video, I thought that would happen, so...

- Mads, I actually love spiders. - Aargh, fuck it.

I love spiders,

so you get two points, cuz those things are amazing for the ecosystem.

- Three, Guy. - What?!

Well, I actually would quite like to spend a bit

of time on your pillow just for a couple of nights.

I could think of worse places to be.

I think you two are becoming the Paul and Angella of the live show.

Well, he's certainly fuckin' me, that's for sure.

Like, it's crazy. I got an audible groan from the audience.

This guy brought along some op-shop camera

and a bullshit story, and he's beaten me.

You got three points.

You should be happy with that. You normally get one.

Yeah.

Uh, Leigh, so you go and get four points,

cuz I thought yours was quite good,

and then, of course, Angella, whoa, that was brutal.

That was brutal. I mean, I don't even have an internet subscription

because I don't wanna read comments about me, so don't bring them in.

That is the last thing I wanna see, so definitely,

Angella, you get five points for that. Well done.

All right. Early scores, Paul.

Well, that puts Angella in the lead,

and if the Taskmaster hasn't seen enough already today,

we now have to show him some tasks.

Mm. I personally think tasks are the best thing to show the Taskmaster.

Ok. Let's play one, then. And this one is all about...

I'm not really sure. I wasn't there.

Ooh!

Paul?

Where's Paul?

Yeah, Paul's not here. Great Great start to the day

Paul!

Find Paul.

Well, that... that makes sense.

'Find Paul and hit him with this Frisbee.' Great. This is a dream.

'You may not walk or run while holding the Frisbee.'

'Every time you throw the Frisbee,

you must put on an additional item of clothing.'

'Fastest wins.'

'Your time starts now.'

Oh gosh. I don't know if he's outside or not.

So hard.

So, they're trying to hit you with a Frisbee.

Yes. And the smart thing to do would be to find me first without the Frisbee,

then return with the Frisbee to minimize Frisbee

throws and minimize the clothes you have to wear.

Did anyone actually do the smart thing?

- Maybe let's have a look. - Ok.

Yeah, I think let's have a look at Guy Williams and Leigh Hart.

Find Paul and hit him with the Frisbee.

You may not walk or run while holding the Frisbee.

Oh, so I throw the Frisbee and follow the Frisbee.

Slightly confusing again.

Oh! I just spend all my time just trying to figure out what the question is.

Every time you throw the Frisbee, you must put on an additional item of clothing.

Oh, I hate this, eh.

So I just run around looking for Paul? Paul?

Paul?

Paul?

Paul?

Paul? I don't really care to find him either.

I'm like, 'Oh well, if he's lost, he had a good run.'

He wasn't really contributing much to the show anyway.

God, he's good. Damn, he's good.

Paul! Come out here!

I'll fight you!

Shivers. I'm sorry about that.

The Frisbee is going to guide me to where Paul is.

Fuck. That's, like, the main place I've searched as well.

All right. Put on a wacky hat.

Continue my quest for Paul.

That takes me back. Ok.

Paul!

Please!

Ple-e-e-e-ease!

Sorry to the sound man about that one.

Actually, not sorry. Fuck you for making this shit game.

Ah! I see him. It was the first place I was going to look, actually.

I didn't think you'd be that stupid to come down here. It's too obvious.

Hey, Paul. I found you.

Good to see you, mate. How'd I not find you earlier? All right.

You might wanna switch the cameras off, cuz as

soon as I get to him with this fucking Frisbee,

I'm gonna physically assault him.

Fuck.

Ooh, here we go. This is a nice little number.

I went out there with a game plan - find Paul.

And I'm executing it to perfection.

These are quite cool shorts, actually. I might

steal these just for my personal life.

All right. Try and hit Paul in the tree.

It's gonna have to be a big throw.

Damn it.

Fuck.