Pam & Tommy

Everything's gonna be okay.

- You motherfuckers are fucking ripping me off.

You owe me $9,000, dude.

Me 17.

You ain't getting dick.

The tape is gonna go away.

- Apparently there's a love tape going around

of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.

I get 15%,

and I will not negotiate.

You got yourself a deal.

Seattle. Let me guess.

Webcams.

They say it's the future of porn.

And I would agree with them.

- And Barb Wire is gonna be

the biggest movie in the world.

- It's their number one priority for spring.

- You're about to be the biggest movie star

in the world.

- And we're gonna get pregnant again...

And we're gonna have a long and happy marriage.

Bob Guccione, he's got the tape.

We're suing the shit out of him.

- Everything is gonna be beautiful and perfect.

If we sue, it puts all this attention on the tape.

It could turn into something way bigger.

You need to sue.

Forever.

Mrs. Lee, do you recall

how old you were the first time

you publicly exposed your genitals?

Here you go, Boss.

What the fuck is this?

Starbucks.

It's coffee from Seattle.

Popping up all over the country.

- From who? - Seattle.

Yeah. All right.

No, thanks. I'll stick with Italy.

- Speaking of everywhere, that tape you bankrolled...

- You must be raking it in. Mazel.

Even Dominic has a copy.

Who?

Dominic, my 15 year old.

Your godson?

Yeah. Right.

Get ahold of Miltie.

Tell him I want to see him.

Right the fuck now.

Oh, wow.

Knight of Cups. Is that good?

- That's really good. Is it?

That represents change and new opportunity.

Rand? There's a strong--

Hey.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Ooh.

- Have you been calling the Netherlands?

- No. Huh.

Apparently, someone in this house

called the Netherlands

17 times last month.

- Wow. That's a lot of times.

Hmm.

Are you sure you didn't?

It wasn't me or Danielle.

Well, you know what? Actually, this was me.

I call it Holland, not the Netherlands.

- Oh, you call it Holland. Yeah,

- Yeah, so there's the confusion there.

- Why did you call the Netherlands

17 times last month?

- For-- No, wait.

Let me guess.

This has something to do

with your... new business venture.

Yeah, exactly.

Which is going great.

Really great. Yes.

- It's going so fucking great

that you're crashing on my couch.

- You have to invest in your business

before it becomes profitable, and that's where I'm at--

- No. No, I want you out by the end of the week.

This week?

Excelsior Royal Grand Hotel Spa.

- Yeah, this is Mr. Gauthier for Mr. Ingley again.

- Yeah. Mr. Ingley.

It's Mr. Gauthier on the line.

Uh-huh.

Not in.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Ingley is not in.

Is he ever in?

Sometimes, sir.

- Okay. Just--just tell him I called again, okay?

Thank you.

- Nobody answers at the studio.

- I looked through the slot at his house.

There's a big pile of mail.

- Donny's cousin, Sal, he rents lights to porno shoots.

He heard Miltie skipped town.

Might be even out of the country.

What about the other one?

- The partner? The doofus?

- Yeah, him. Go get him.

Bring me the doofus.

There's you go.

Tell your friends about me, all right?

Right here. Right here.

Get the tape everybody's talking about.

New video with Pamela Anderson. Deep throat.

What's up, bro?

Hey, check out the tape everybody's talking about.

One for 30, two for 50.

Pam Anderson sucks Tommy's dick.

Hey, ladies, you want one?

- Come on, man. We can't sell that in here.

- Why not? You got some guy selling bootlegs of it

on your property, in your parking lot.

- He's not really bothering anybody.

- He is bothering me very, very much.

Look, I got the real tape right here, man,

and I'm willing to make you a deal.

A really good deal. Wholesale deal.

Right now. Come on.

- What makes yours the real tape and his bootleg?

What's the difference?

What's the difference?

The difference is I was first, man.

I was first.

- You know, David Bowie once said

never be the first to do anything.

And I bet he wasn't the first to say it.

- What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?

- Check 'em out. Check 'em out.

Oh, what's up, bro?

Hey, you mad, dawg?

Hey, why you mad, bro?

- Ready? - Mm-hmm.

Wait, so what's the plan if they ask about the tape?

"If"?

Hey.

Hey, guys. Hey. Hi.

Hey. How's everybody doing?

Good! Good.

That's why I love Barb so much.

I mean, you know, she wasn't always such a badass.

You know, she was once as innocent as they come,

and then she got that tough by being,

you know, by being knocked down over and over again,

you know, sometimes by the people

that she trusted the most.

And that really spoke to me personally.

And, you know, so people are really gonna--

Hi, Pam. Yeah.

Vance. Stuff Magazine.

Your favorite thing in a guy.

- I like a man who listens, Vance.

- Hello, Pamela. Pamela.

Did you ever have fight trainings

before you played in Barb Wire?

- Oh, yeah, and, you know, on Baywatch a little--a little.

But, you know, nothing like this, nothing like this.

Well, C.J. didn't get to wave a hand-cannon around.

I wish.

I have a question.

Yes. Hi.

- When's your Penthouse coming out?

Sure lots of guys are looking forward to it.

Well, sorry to disappoint, but, um,

me in Penthouse is not gonna happen,

and we're taking legal steps to make sure of it.

Next question--

So the lawsuit is real?

As opposed to--

You know, like a--

Publicity stunt?

So the rumors that you and Tommy were

actually the ones who released the tape are unfounded?

Is that what you-- - The tape was stolen

from our house--

from a safe in our house.

We are the victims of a burglary.

Got it.

Great.

Nine?

That's it?

Fucking bootleggers, man.

You know what they say.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

- Yeah, whoever said that wasn't getting

his fucking business ripped off.

I'm going to the post office.

Oh. Any word from Miltie?

Fuck do you think, dude?

- What's that? A '77?

- Oh, my God. Look, there--

There are people who are expecting me places.

Relax. Let's go.