BLUE EYE SAMURAI

Ringo! Ugh.

Customer. Big hat.

Welcome, sir. I'll bring you some tea.

It's not good tea, but it's hot, and you're frozen,

and I'll bring you a rag because when I'm frozen, my snot drips.

Then a nice big soba. We make the best soba.

Honest. Bad tea, great soba. Okay?

Stumpy! More noodles, fast.

Finish your bowls.

I paid your fathers good money for you.

The brothels will pay me even more

once you get some curve on, you skinny country nothings. Eat!

- Go! Hurry! - Huh?

If that flesh-trader kills anyone here, it'd be bad for business.

Go and don't spill!

It's good, right?

Ah.

Finally!

Eat up, girls. Eat it all!

Oh.

What are you? A dog?

You let a dog serve food!

Forgive my son. Can't go a day without breaking dishes.

Ringo, clean him!

I'm sorry.

- Ah! - Argh!

Sorry, sorry.

I should put down this lame dog.

I'm not a dog.

Did you just bark?

Do you know who I am?

I am Hachiman the Flesh-Trader.

No one messes with Hachi!

Hmm. Impressive.

I've never seen a gun like it.

Front loading, not a Japanese pistol.

A European design, isn't it?

Ugh!

That would make it illegal.

Hachiman the Flesh-Trader.

Of course, I've heard of you.

Never leaves a village without buying one of its daughters.

You must have important friends to own a weapon like that.

Why do you know so much about Hachi?

Maybe I've been following you.

The famous Hachi with the famous gun.

I'd love a gun like that.

You can tell me who sold it to you.

Hmm. Fuck off.

You will tell me who sold you that gun.

You put my bullet against your blade?

You don't deserve my blade.

You don't even deserve this blade.

Take the gun if you want it! Take it!

Ah! No!

It's a filthy gun from a filthy place. I don't want it.

I wanna know who sold it to you.

Tell me now.

Heiji Shindo. I bought it from Heiji Shindo!

Heiji Shindo.

Where is Heiji Shindo?

I don't know! I swear.

Ah!

You dead-eyed, half-blooded demon bastard.

You look like an onryō.

Hoo!

Hm?

I found you!

I'd never catch up on the path, but I remember this shortcut

'cause when we traveled to the Izushi shrine for my 7th birthday,

I went to pee and got lost,

so I slept with a family of tanuki for three days

and ate leaves and scarabs, and got to know the forest really, really well, so…

Go home.

I hate home!

Please. My whole life, I couldn't do anything right,

but now I know what I'm supposed to do.

Be a samurai, like you.

Please. Let me be your apprentice. Uh, I'll do anything.

A breeze can throw a crane off course.

You… are a typhoon.

Please! I'm strong. I can carry your things,

and you can have the best soba in the world every day!

And I'll do anything you ask… Master.

Uh, anything so I can learn to be just like you.

Like me?

You're deformed, but you're still strong.

To a man lost in the dark, an ember can light the way.

Thank you for my ember.

I was lost without course so long.

Please.

Let this ember's light brighten a path from this Heiji Shindo to the men I seek.

Please guide my steps until I find them.

Please give me the strength to kill them.

Or let me die.

Please

protect Swordfather from time and harm.

Agh!

You wanna go?

Go ahead.

Just jump.

You think you can fight us?

An orphan?

I know what you are.

Your whore mother killed herself

because your father is a white devil.

Told you.

Round eyes.

Like a dog.

Hmm. The heavens throw treasure.

One, two, and…

Hmm.

Take the bowl as you go. Thank you.

You did not go.

Hmm. Have you somewhere to go?

Yes.

Well, go then.

Now. Goodbye.

It's a strange metal.

Hmm. Cold morning.

It would be nice if someone made tea.

Hmm.

Would be nice if someone got my tongs.

The longer ones.

Hmm.

It would be nice if somebody hammered out the impurities.

Would be nice if someone kept proper time.

Come on, people. Keep it moving. Let's go.

Next!

This travel pass is invalid.

It's my husband's.

It's invalid without him.

Next!

He died. I make the baskets. He only sold them.

Please. Or I can't feed my children.

You know the rules. Women can't travel without a chaperone.

Next!

Travel pass.

- Next. - Please!

Excuse me. Would you perhaps be able to tell me whe…

Excuse me. Could you help me find the…

Watch it, asshole.

Apologies.

I'm looking for something, but Kyoto's very big.

Do you know where I can find the Shindo Dojo?

Shindo?

That's our dojo.

You're gonna apply?

You look like a blind beggar.

If you would please show me how to find your dojo,

I would be grateful.

Sure.

Follow the road to the shrine. Once you go around the gates,

you'll see the sign across the puppet show.

Good luck.

Hyah!

You look lost, lost boy. Come on inside.

Rest a while.

I'm looking for the Shindo Dojo.

Which… this I see is not.

This is better. This is the Shindo House.

If you wanna show off your sword skills, you can do it here.

We can polish the tip up for you.

I must decline.

My business is urgent.

Most men grab first, ask prices later.

You're different.

Polite, sweet.

But firm.

Okay, lost boy. Walk east to the Kamo River.

Take the bridge to the temple with the thousand creepy statues.

It's on the hill just past.

I wish you a successful day of business.

Uh-oh. Oh!

How much for one night?

How much for three?

It's all paid for.

Just relax and enjoy.

Have you ever been with a woman before?

You just have to learn.

Round, firm, like a pumpkin.

You can be a little rough with it.

These, you have to be gentler, soft like ripe peaches.

You like peaches?

Peaches.

Make way. Make way for Princess Akemi!

Make way!

Father, I know your wisdom is beyond reproach.

I submit to your will wholeheartedly.

I would be remiss if I didn't speak my mind about my future.

Did you talk to him, Seki? Tell me!

Uh…

I am well, Akemi-sama. Thank you for asking.

Hm.

This morning, I made indelicate mention,

and now he told me to fetch you.

When you speak to him, remember to lilt your voice.

So, I should speak like a child.

Or like a woman who intends to get what she wants.

Father, forgive my interrup…