Great Expectations

Hold your noise!

Hold your noise, you little devil, or I'll cut your throat!

- Tell us your, name! Quick! - Pip!

- Once more! Give it mouth! - Pip!

- Shh! - Pip, sir! No, sir, please.

Got wittles on you, boy? You got wittles on you?

No, sir!

Come here.

What fat cheeks you got.

Darn me if I couldn't eat 'em.

Where's your mother?

There, sir!

Also Georgiana, sir.

My mother and brothers too.

Orphan, eh?

Who d'you live with? Supposin' I let you live.

My sister, sir, Mrs Joe Gargery, wife of Joe Gargery, the blacksmith.

Blacksmith, eh?

You know what a file is?

- You know what wittles is? - Yes, sir, food, sir.

I ain't alone, as you may think I am.

There's a young man hid with me in comparison with which I am an angel,

and he has a secret way of getting at a boy,

and at his heart, and at his liver, so that they may be roasted and ate.

It is in vain for a boy to hide from that young man.

Now, you bring me tomorrow morning early, in this graveyard,

that file and them wittles, never daring to say a word,

and I will do what I can to keep that young man out of your insides.

Understand?

- Speak it out! - Yes, sir!

Now get you home.

There you are, Pip!

Ah, Your sister's been out a dozen times looking for you.

Now, listen, she's on the rampage and she's got Tickler with her.

Now, I'll do what I can but you best get in there behind the door.

- Now... You ready? - Where have you been?

Wearing me out with fret and worry!

I said, "Where have you been?"

- The churchyard. - The churchyard!

If it weren't for me you would've been to the churchyard years ago, and stayed there!

- Who brought you up by hand? - You did!

Why did I, I should like to know!

Fetch the tar water!

There's no need for tar water, my love. It's Christmas.

Fetch it!

Bad enough having to be a blacksmith's wife, without having to mother you, too.

- You're driving me to the churchyard. - You all right?

You'd like that, both of you, I suppose.

Tar water. You be careful.

Table! Now!

There's another convict escaped from the Hulks.

What might he have done, the convict?

Murder most likely.

That's why they put them in the Hulks, because they murder.

- Murder? - Murder and robbing.

That's too many questions!

Where's that bread gone?

I ate it.

You did, did you?

Sir. Sir...

Did you bring it, boy?

Yes, sir. Here.

What's in the bottle?

- Brandy. - Here. Here.

- You brought no-one with you? - No, sir!

- And you asked no-one to follow? - I wouldn't do that, sir.

I'm glad you enjoy the pie.

Oh, thankee, my boy, I do. I do.

- There'll be none left for him! -"Him"?

- Who's "him"? - The young man you spoke of.

Who wants to eat my liver.

Oh, him.

He won't want no pie.

He looked as if he did.

Looked? What d'you mean, looked?

I saw him.

- When? - Just now.

- Where? - Down by the river.

What with... Dressed like me with a bruised face?

- Here? Badly bruised? - Yes, sir.

Give me the file, boy!

Hunt him down like a dog I will.

- Goodbye, then, sir. - Let him go free?

Merry Christmas, sir.

- Let him make a fool of me again? - Goodbye.

That villain. I'll take him to the bottom of the river...

I On Christmas day, on Christmas day

I And ail the souls on earth shalt sing

On Christmas day in the morning

Then let us all rejoice and sing

On Christmas day, on Christmas day

Beautiful.

A beautiful piece of meat, that is.

For the great feast we are about to receive,

- Thanks to you, ma'am... - Hear, hear.

May the good Lord make us truly thankful.

- Amen. - Amen.

Did you hear that? Be grateful!

Especially, my boy, as to those what brought you up by hand.

Why is it that the young are never grateful?

- Naturally wicious! - Wicious little ferret.

What?

They're not lovely. They're wicious.

More gravy, Mr Wopsle?

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm.

Oh, I nearly forgot!

Ladies and gentlemen, please do leave a little room for the savoury pork pie

so kindly provided for by dear Mr Pumblechook.

No more than you deserve, ma'am.

I'll get it now. Shall I get it now?

I'll get it now.

I often say a slice of savoury pork pie

will sit on top of anything you care to mention...

Are you all right?

...and do no harm.

Especially with a little brandy.

Wise words, as always.

It's in here somewhere.

At least it was here. It's gone!

There's tar water in the brandy!

Pip!

Where do you think you're going, boy?

Oh, that is hot, yeah.

Well done, blacksmith. Well done.

Nasty vicious characters, both of them.

Not the kind you'd want to stumble upon alone, eh?

Anybody here seen anything of such a gang?

- Nothing, Sergeant. - Thank you, ma'am.

Your health, sir.

- Thank you, sir. - A fine job.

We found them filed clean through.

But no matter. We'll have 'em back on him in no time.

Course, if any of you gentlemen fancy some sport...

- Oh, yes. - Willingly.

Right, outside. Fall in.

Jump to it.

Come on, let's be having you.

Out you come, Pip.

I hope we don't find 'em, Joe.

I hope so too, old chap.

I hope so too.

Over here, Sergeant!

Come here!

You, man, break it off.

Break it off.

Get them. Go.

Get out there, you cowardly bastard.

Move. Move.

I've got him!

Break it off! Break it off!

What are you waiting for? Get out there!

Go on, get in!

Let me at him!

Let me at him!

He tried to murder me!

- I took him! - Get those leg irons over here.

He tried to murder me!

Let him go free? Let him profit from me again and again?

Let's put him down.

- He tried to murder me! - Quiet, you!

I should have been a dead man, if you hadn't got here.

I wish to say something.

- A confession if you like. - Wait.

Go on.

A man can't starve.

I took, stole, some wittles up at the village.

And a file too.

And I'll tell you from where.

The blacksmith's.

Brandy and a pie.

Have you missed such an article as a pie, blacksmith?

- My wife did. - So you're the blacksmith, are you?

Then I'm sorry to say I've eat your pie.

God knows you're welcome to it.

We don't know what you've done,

but we wouldn't wish you to starve to death for it, would us, Pip?

No.

Pip?

Move on!

Swing your legs in there.

I say, Pip, old chap!

What a scholar you are!

I should like to be, some day.

Here, read it, Joe.

Read it.

Read it.

My dear Joe,

I hope you are quite well.

I shall soon be able to teach you Joe.

- And what larks! - Larks.

It's a J.

An O.

That's the best O I ever saw.

It's astonishing!

How interesting this reading is!

Perhaps I could teach you one day, Joe.

Perhaps.

Be it so, be it so.

But I fear I am most awful... Awful... Dull.