First Blush

Okay.

- You all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm ready.

All right, let's do it.

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, just...

They brought me cupcakes at work today.

Oh, God. Sorry to hear that.

I don't know how they knew it was my birthday,

they must have looked on my W-2 or something,

which should be illegal.

Come on, they're tryin' to be nice.

I just don't want it to be a big deal.

Carrie and John don't know, do they?

That it's my birthday?

- No. - I don't know. I don't know.

- Well... - Can you not tell her,

'cause she makes a big thing out of everything.

Right.

I just wanna like

play Catan, and slam some wine,

and order some Thai food, and that's it.

What?

I don't know if I should tell you.

She knows?

She knows. Fuck!

Okay, there might be a few more, um...

people there than you were... expecting.

It's kind of like a, um...

surprise party for you.

It's a what?

- Dude. Oh, God.

- What the hell? -

I'm sorry, I thought you'd be excited.

Why would I be...

No, I... No.

Look, I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea and I am sorry.

Uh, no, no, I...

I've just been panicky all day.

Nena, I don't want to stress you out. I just...

I don't know, I thought it would be fun.

But, baby, I hate surprise parties.

Can I ask you something?

Has anybody ever thrown you one?

No.

So, how do you know?

- -

Surprise!

Hi.

Hey, are you sure everything's okay?

No, it's good. Thank you, really.

I just get... You know?

I've been planning this like almost as long as our wedding,

and it was Drew's idea, but you know, I just kind of rolled with it.

You guys have been so good to us since we moved here,

and it's such a big moment in your life!

Like you turned 30! Like what? It's crazy.

And like I don't even... I can't even imagine

what turning 30 would be like.

That's such a foreign concept to me, you know?

Like, your credit score's probably, like, perfect.

I don't even know. The other day, I went to put air in my tires,

and I was like, I don't even know how I'm freaking gonna do this right now,

and I used to call my mom all the time, but now I can call you,

'cause you're the real grown-up in my life.

Your life is like so set, like it's so good,

you're like so set, it's so great.

And we have chips and dip, and onion dip,

and we have, uh... There's broccoli and edamame,

but not cauliflower, 'cause I know you don't like cauliflower,

but, uh, there's hummus, but I...

Drew didn't know what kind of hummus you liked,

so I just... I just picked one, so...

What hummus do you like?

Oh, uh, the Mediterranean one from TJ's with pine nuts.

Damn it, uh... we got sun-dried tomato.

Didn't I tell you to get Mediterranean?

I have no idea.

Uh, it's fine, Carrie.

Really, thank you.

Oh, honey, do you wanna tell them?

- Tell them what? - Yeah, tell us what?

Oh, we goin' campin'.

- You two should come. Yeah, totally.

Uh, hey, who is that? Has she hung out with us before?

Oh, that's Olivia. She just started working at the coffee shop with me.

She looks familiar, though.

She used to be a model.

In France, bro.

I don't know what that means.

Hey.

Hey.

- Could I bum one? - Totally.

Thank you.

It's Nena, right?

Yeah.

Olivia?

- How do you know? - Carrie, she told me.

She talks about you a lot at work, too.

My friend Nena this, my friend Nena that.

- Oh, God. - No, it's sweet.

Yeah, no, I love Carrie.

I mean, she invited all these people here

- and I don't know half of them, so... -

I love these mountains.

They're not bad.

I used to run up them.

You ran up those?

In my prime.

Why'd you stop?

I always said that I would quit for good when I turned 30.

Hm.

So you're from France?

No.

Oh, Carrie and John, they said you're a model in France.

I was like kind of sort of actress in New York,

and yeah, I just fell into it.

But I'm from here originally.

What are you doing now?

I'm workin' at the coffee shop with Carrie.

Uh, no, I know, but like what are you doing?

I'm, um, foaming milk and cream-cheesing bagels.

- That was such an LA question, I am so sorry. -

- It's okay. - Fuck.

I guess I'm past my prime, too.

- How old are you? - Twenty-five.

- Yeah, fuck off. -

I don't feel bad about asking my question anymore.

Ooh, come on, older women are sexy.

Oh, Jesus Christ. -

So what now?

Turning 30, does it... feel different?

Um, I don't know.

Like I guess I hit all the marks I'm supposed to hit in my 20s.

Married, employed, I like my apartment,

I'm probably not gonna die poor and lonely, so yeah, I'm doing great.

Yeah, but I didn't ask if you were doing great.

I asked if you felt different.

Right. Um...

no, not really.

Can I have another one?

Yeah.

Thank you for throwing my surprise party, baby.

I'm sorry that you didn't have a good time.

No, I did.

- I did. - Really?

Yeah.

I probably wouldn't leave the house if it wasn't for you.

Okay.

I'm just thinkin', like,

I'm getting too old to be so scared of new things.

I just wanna say "yes" to things.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Really, really.

So that's why you said "yes" to camping this weekend.

I said "yes" to what?

Uh, you seemed a little... I don't know, distracted maybe.

Oh.

- So you want me to cancel? - No.

You know what? No, let's do it.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean...

Fuck it. I can camp.

All right.

Fuck yeah. I mean, I wanna do new stuff all the time.

Total overhaul.

Oh my God, I am so into this right now. I love this.

So then, what about the thing we talked about the other week?

- What thing? - You know, the thing with the heels?

What thing with the heels?

You don't remember? Well, I would lie on the floor

and then you would...

- Oh. - Yeah.

I thought you were kidding about that.

- Oh, no. Yeah, I was. - You were what?

- Are you serious? - I was kidding. I mean, you know?

Do... do you really want me to do that to you?

I don't want to if you don't want to.

Uh...

Right now, I just wanna go to bed.

Okay, baby.

Y ou know, my boss was surprisingly cool

with me taking a half day. I should do this more often.

You know what? Me, too.

Baby, you work from home, your whole life is a half day.

Sorry.

Yay, you made it!

Hi.

What's up, man? What's up, bro?

How you doin'? Hello.

How are you doin'? Hi, there.

We made it. Yeah!

- How was the drive, bro? - Not bad, yeah.

Question, um, you guys have an extra tent?

- Why? Olivia forgot to bring one.

- What? Hey.

And she is in all green, like a leaf.

The Joker.