The Incantation

I knew the very first moment I saw her,

she was pure helium.

Here, hot on the resting place of the restless dead.

The crossroads of demise as well as sex.

Where death begets life,

and life begets death.

May I throw your case, Mademoiselle?

Merci.

Whoa.

Do you mind if we stop and take a selfie?

Oui, Mademoiselle.

Whoa!

Mademoiselle? Do you have an address?

Huh?

To where you are going?

Oh.

Mother, so weird.

"Transport."

What the hell, Mom?

Uh, this place.

Do you know it?

Here? Are you sure?

I guess so.

Mom always was one for adventure.

Isn't it beautiful?

Is something wrong?

I'll just be leaving now.

Wait, seriously?

Can you at least help me with all my bags?

I'd rather not.

Okay.

Not such a generous tip then?

As you wish.

Okay, I guess the French are rude.

Hello?

Hello?

Is anybody home?

- Good afternoon. - Oh!

You scared the sh--

Sorry, uh...

I didn't see you there.

Miss Bellerose, I presume?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am the Vicar of Borley.

Vicar, please.

Please...

be seated.

Sorry.

I'm just a little nervous.

Uh, tired.

I think I'm jetlagged.

Sorry.

I'm listening now. Um, I'm Lucy.

Miss Bellerose,

you will notice that we conduct ourselves

with a little bit more civility here,

perhaps a modicum of decorum you're not yet used to.

Yes, sir.

I would like to first express my deepest condolences

for the passing of your great-uncle,

The Count Rose du Sang.

I can assure you he was an exemplary pillar

of the community.

Thank you.

I didn't really know the guy.

Regardless, it's quite fortuitous

that you arrived in time for the interment tomorrow.

I trust you'll get some rest

and come amply rejuvenated come morning.

Yeah, that would be proper, right?

What am I saying? He's my uncle.

Yes, of course, I...

I will be ready bright and early.

Before you retire for the evening,

I'm afraid there's a few rules

that we quite stringently enforce here at Castle Borley.

Yes, of course.

The upper floors

are strictly off-limits.

They're currently under renovation

and can prove to be quite dangerous.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to get hurt

or fall down a rabbit hole.

Next,

please be aware that there are others

residing here,

and it would behoove you not to disturb them.

It definitely seems big enough.

I can keep my own space.

Do not feel compelled to return each utterance

with a banal affirmation.

Now best if you remain here on the bottom floors only.

And, Lucy, any uninvited guests are severely frowned upon.

Understood.

The chambermaid has provided sustenance for you

in the pantry,

fresh bed linens in your bed chamber.

Your room is the furthest due westward

on the tertiary floor.

I bid you adieu.

Thank you.

Oh, and, Miss Bellerose?

As Vicar of the consecrated grounds here at Castle Borley,

my ancestors and I have dedicated our lives

to preserving and upholding the reputation of your family

for generations.

So, please, do not make me regret that now,

starting with you alone.

I'll do my best not to disappoint you.

Oh, shit, I almost forgot.

Hi, virtual friends.

It's me, and guess what?

Surprise! I'm in Paris!

Well, close enough.

Bad news? My uncle died.

I know, I know.

But it's okay. He was a really distant relative.

Good news I'm in Paris!

Mom's not here yet, but when is she ever?

Seriously, Mom, if you see this,

will you please let me know when you're gonna get here?

Wait till you guys see this place.

It's straight out of a fairy tale.

I'll try to post more soon.

Au revoir, Lucites.

Oh.

need to check on Internet for personal sanity.

Ow.

I see you've found everything all right.

Holy crap. What is it with you people?

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Shall I draw you a bath?

No. No, it's-- it's fine.

- Um, I'm... - Lucy.

Yes, I know.

Um, I'm fine if I could just get some rest.

Of course, ma'am.

I'll leave you.

Creep show!

Mm.

Must... take a shower.

Oh, shit.

What the hell?

If you'd be so kind as to join us

for the funeral rites.

I'll be down soon.

I just need some privacy to shower and get dressed.

Please, make haste.

You guide me along the right path

for the sake of your name.

Even when I walk through a dark valley,

I fear no harm,

for you are at my side.