Friends

- Are you excited about our honeymoon? - Yeah, I am.

Bermuda, Bahama Come on, pretty mama

Get it out of your system while we're alone.

- We came to say goodbye. - Have a great honeymoon.

- Thanks. - I'll go pack.

I already packed. The only thing I couldn't find, though, was your Speedo.

Speedo? Uh, I don't have a Speedo.

I'm gonna go pack my regular, long bathing suit.

Good, you're still here. I wanted to tell you to have a good honeymoon.

Oh, thank you.

And I wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today.

What? What? What?

- We know it's Ross. - How? How do you know?

It was his sweater. But, oh, my God!

I so wanted Ross to know first. But I'm so relieved that you guys know.

- That's so great. I'll be your baby's aunt! - I know.

- Me too! - I'm gonna be an uncle! Come here.

- You'll all be aunts and uncles. - But I'm the only one related by blood.

Okay, great. Now that you all know, you can give me advice on how to tell Ross.

What were you gonna say?

That I'm gonna have the baby, and he can be as involved as he wants.

Well, that sounds good.

Yeah, but how do I start? What's the first thing that I say?

- Okay, great. Thanks. - Hey, good luck.

Yeah, bye.

What was that all about?

Well, I guess no harm in telling you now. Rachel and Ross are having a baby.

What? I didn't even know! Why didn't you tell me?

Why am I talking like this?

I didn't think you could keep it a secret.

What? I'm an excellent secret-keeper. I've kept all our secrets.

- What secrets? - No, no, Joey.

I'm not gonna tell you because I am an excellent secret-keeper.

- Psst. You'll tell me later? - You already know.

It's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.

You know, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby.

- Maybe you and I should do something. - All in good time, my love. All in good time.

Oh, shoot. I left my guitar in their apartment. You can let me in later, right?

No, I don't have a key. They took mine to give to you.

- What? They took mine to give to you. - Why would they take away our keys?

Maybe they don't trust us.

They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.

You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle...

...and cleaned it up with Monica's guest towels?

- I washed those. - No, you didn't.

Yeah, that didn't sound like me.

- What am I gonna do? I really need my guitar. - I have stuff in there too.

- What stuff? - Monica's chicken parm. I'll take care of this.

Mr. Treeger? It's Joey Tribbiani.

I need to get into Monica and Chandler's apartment. It's an emergency.

Uh... Uh... Gas leak. Oh, and bring garlic bread.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Did Rachel find you? - No, why?

- She was looking for you. - Well, I guess I'll catch up with her later.

- She really wanted to talk to you now. - Yeah, it seemed pretty important.

- Oh, no. What?

I think I might know what this is about.

Really?

Yeah. We promised we weren't gonna tell anybody this...

...but a month ago, Rachel and I slept together.

And?

- Wow, I thought you'd be more shocked. - Oh, sorry. And?

Well, we said we'd just do it that one time...

...but now I think she may wanna start things up again.

Yeah, I don't think that's what it is.

- Why? What else could it be? - Oh, wow, I don't feel well.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, that's what it is.

No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding.

She didn't say anything to you?

- Maybe it's something you ate. - It could've been...

- Please, just go and talk to Rachel. - Yeah, I guess I should.

Man, you know what I have to realize?

Maybe I'm not the type of guy women can have just one night with.

They always seem to want a little bit more.

I should remember that.

Next.

- They're kissing. Let's go around them. - Leave them alone. They're in love.

I'm in love too. But in an orderly fashion.

- Next. - Hi. Can you do that and walk?

Because she said, "Next."

Sorry, we didn't hear you. We're on our honeymoon.

Aw. Let me see what I can do. There are some first-class seats available.

They bumped them up to first class because they're on their honeymoon.

Let's act like we're on our honeymoon.

We are on our honeymoon.

- Grab my ass. - Next.

Sorry, I almost didn't hear you because I'm so in love with my new husband.

- We're on our honeymoon. - Congratulations.

Mr. Bing, you'll be in 25J, and Mrs. Bing, you're in 25K.

We're on our honeymoon, so can you do your little thing, bump us up to first class?

I'm sorry, all the first-class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.

If we'd gone around them like I said, she'd have given us those tickets. Damn it.

25J and K, any chance those aren't together?

I still can't believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.

Of course I do. And I'll give it back to you...

...as soon as they're done with it at the key-shining place.

What the hell is that?

- Whoa, whoa. Treeger, what are you doing? - You said there was a gas leak in here.

- Why don't you use your key? - I won't find it before the place explodes.

If that happens at another building I manage, people will start asking questions.

Come on, hurry up.

Oh!

We could have done that.

Look at that. They're going into the first-class lounge.

- Do you know what they have in there? - No.

Me neither. We have to get in!

- Just act like you belong. - Oh, my God! Oranges!

Shh!

- Nice to see you again. - Sir, may I see your tickets, please?

Yes, of course.

Would you move your thumb. I can't see the seat number.

That's all right. I have it memorized. It's 1A.

- Sir, this isn't a first-class ticket. I'm sorry. - Apology accepted. Excuse us.

Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Fine.

Go, go, go!

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

I think there's something that we really need to talk about.

I think we do. Why don't we go inside.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Look, I know why you're here. - You do?

Yeah, and to save you from any embarrassment, I think I should talk first.

- Okay. - Okay.

Here.

Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Heh.

It's been one heck of a seesaw, hasn't it?

What?

I mean, look, that one night we had was fun and certainly passionate.

But don't you think it's better if we just stay friends?

Seriously, what?

Okay, okay. You know what?

If you want to, we can do it one more time.

I'd be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.

- You know what? Ahem. Can I talk now? - Oh, sure.

I'm pregnant.

Ross?

Okay, whenever you're ready.

And you're the father, by the way. But you're good.