American Dad!

Class, meet our new student, Snot Lonstein!

Now, don't treat him any differently

because he's Jewish and poor,

or because his thirsty mom gave me big skank vibes.

Okay?

Go sit down, honey.

I'm also allergic to nuts.

Well, lucky for you, you clearly don't have any.

I mean, the wayI'm just dunkin' on you up here.

Everybody, take out pencils

and practice your letters!

Whoa, you can't even afford a penthil?

My grandma has one.

I'm supposed to get it when she dies.

But I'm good -- Mine never runs out of ink.

Well, if it does, I have bigger problems.

You can have one of mine.

-Thanks! -I got you, pal.

From here on out,

it's gonna be you and me forever.

Wow, that's a weird thing to sayto someone you've just met,

but thanks again!

Thanks.

I blew most of my tokens on Skee-ball.

And the rest were taken from me at gunpoint

in the men's room.

I got you, pal.

Hey, need any Steve Bucks?

Check out the sick new re-design.

Oh!

You fixed that typo that said, "In Steve We Thrust."

Yep!

And, as always, you can trade these in

for whatever you need from me --food, cash,

some of those Glade plug-insyou like to pass off as cologne.

Thanks.

A little dab of "Hawaiian Breeze"

behind my ear not only smells great,

it's also the closest I'll ever get to the Caribbean.

Hey, want to kick my ass at Frogger?

Can't.

My mom asked me to pick up dinner,

so I got to hit up Burrito Barn.

If I throw up on the salad bar,

they usuallytoss it all in the dumpster.

Then it's just me versus the crows.

Well, I don't want to step on your dinner plans,

but why don't you guys come eat at our house?

Like in the basement? From a trough?

No, at the kitchen table with us.

Like the family on the TV show Dinosaurs?

No way!

Aah!

I gotta say Francine, your salad dressing is amazing.

I can't stop eating it!

I don't even care if it goes straight to my ass!

So sweet of you to say that.

My mom makes everything from scratch.

Come on, eat up!

I'm actually pretty good, Steve.

Right. A to-go plate.

Hearts of palm,

fruit leather --

How you doing on Easter egg coloring kits?

Steve, I don't think they need --

Mom, don't make this weird!

They have nothing!

So...Esther,

Steve says Snot's birthday is coming up.

Where da party at?

Probably Pervert Park -- it's always empty.

Except for the pervs. But it's free!

Although, with the pervs comes an emotional price.

Nonsense. Have your party here.

We have a pool, a barbecue, almost no pervs.

Almost!

-Thanks, Steve. -Please.

You would do the same thing for me

if the Salvation Army shoe were on the other foot.

Ahh! Orange Julius.

Proof God loves us.

Hey, Roger, where'd you get that?

Secret menu, baby.

Go to any Orange Julius and ask for it "Julius Style,"

and they'll just give you a big bowl of chicken gizzards.

Have you ever considered modeling?

-Every day. -I think you all

have what it takes to be models.

Mall fashion show? What a joke.

- Oh, this is incredible.

-This is so incredible -Whoo!

Jeff is excited!

You guys are idiots.

Those are just flyers

for a lame mall fashion show.

I'm gonna be a super model.

Aah! What the hell?!

Is anyone else seeing this?

-Aah! -

- -

There's no room!

Th-There's no -- It doesn't work that way.

You almost killed me!

Now slap this out of my hand.

-Why? -Models can't drink this stuff.

We're gonna be on strict diets.

Riiiight after this.

Ahh.

Now we're models.

I just want to be a single dad with a cush job

selling live bait.

What? Oh, sorry, Barry.

I just can't get over Snot's pants.

- They really showcase that poppin' apple bottom.

No. How did he suddenly afford new pants?

I hope he's not camming again.

Although, he is very good at it.

Ugh! You beat me again!

Oh, game over, huh?

Need some Steve Bucks?

Nah, I'm good. But I am hungry.

Let's get some pizza. On me.

Snot never pays for pizza.

Where is all this money coming from?

Who cares? Just be happy for him.

Oh, sure. Absolutely.

No one's rooting for that guy more than me.

But what the hell?

Could we maybe just sit in silence, Steve?

I have a ripping headache, we're talking in circles,

and I just really want to focus on waiting for the pizza.

Wow, two large Wallet Busters?

And here are some tubs of our delicious

new dipping sauce.

I'm sorry, Mr. Snot.

I'm a really big fan of your mom's sauce.

Would you mind giving me your autograph?

Sure.

Might as well get used to it.

"Snot's Mom's Mom Sauce?"

Yes!

Finally, a big get for Carl!

I quit, Danny! I'll see your ass in hell!

What's going on, Snot?

Ugh, guys, can we please

not make a big deal out of this?

We're loaded!

My mom started selling her own dressing,

and Pizza Overlord is using it

as their new dipping sauce in every location!

No, no, mine.

Hmm.

It's just like my mom's dressing.

This is my mom's dressing!

Yeah. It's my mom's take on it.

Okay.

A-And I guess "Ice Ice Baby" is just Vanilla Ice's take

on Queen's "Under Pressure"?

Yeah. My mom took something and made it better,

just like Vanilla Ice did.

Well, Mr. A1A, Mr. Beachfront Avenue,

this dressing your mom made is no "brand-new invention."

Yay!

Now work in the line "grab a hold of me tightly."

Look, all I know is, things are going well for us,

and I won't have to mooch off of you anymore.

In fact, you can have all your Steve Bucks back!

Oh, now you don't need me

because yourmom stole mymom's dressing?

Ha! That's really great, Snot.

So...logistically, how do those Steve Bucks work?

Do you give them back to him in exchange for money?

Couldn't he just give you the money in the first place?

You know what? It's not my business.

Listen up, fools!

It's Taco Tuesday, and Snot Lonstein is no longer

the poorest person in school.

Let's give it up for Mr. Ames,

the math teacher.

Don't you look at me, you bitch.

One plus one equals... you poor.

Where is Snot?

Probably at home crying, trying to write me

an apology letter, feeling all --

Whoa!

Jewish Jaden Smith!

-I love your mom's sauce! -

Oh, if it isn't the little sauce prince.

Surprised you're not at home, covered in sauce,

making out with your mom.

Oh, you're still hung up on that?

Yeah, I'm still hung up on it.

I'm also thinking about hanging up

my birthday party planning apron.

Oh, you thought I was still having it at your house?