Ski Party

SNOW IN THE MOUNTAINS, REALLY SOMETHING TO SEE

SO WAX UP YOUR SKIS AND COME ALONG WITH ME

WE'RE ALL GASSED UP AND READY TO LEAVE

SO PICK ME UP ABOUT QUARTER TO THREE

AFTER SKIING ALL DAY AND PARTIES AT NIGHT

WITH 5 FEET OF SNOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT

THERE'S PLENTY OF CHICKS, ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE

AND EVEN THE BEGINNERS WILL BE HAVING FUN

THE D.J'S ARE SAYING THAT THE SNOW REPORTS ARE GOOD

WE'LL GET SOME ALCOHOL AND PUT IT UNDER MY HOOD

WE'RE BEING LEFT ALONE LIKE A SKI PARTY SHOULD

WE'D STAY ABOUT A MONTH IF WE COULD

AFTER SKIING ALL DAY AND PARTIES AT NIGHT

WITH 5 FEET OF SNOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT

THERE'S PLENTY OF CHICKS, ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE

AND EVEN THE BEGINNERS WILL BE HAVING FUN

THERE'LL BE GROOVY LITTLE CHICKS

WITH SWEATERS REAL TIGHT

SKIING ALL DAY AND HAVING PARTIES AT NIGHT

GONNA RIDE EVERY LIFT WHILE IT'S STILL LIGHT

WE WON'T BE SEEING THE SIGHTS

AFTER SKIING ALL DAY AND PARTIES AT NIGHT

WITH 5 FEET OF SNOW, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT

THERE'S PLENTY OF CHICKS, ENOUGH OR EVERYONE

AND EVEN THE BEGINNERS WILL BE HAVING FUN

LET'S HAVE A SKI PARTY

LET'S HAVE A SKY PARTY

...AND SO WE SEE THE MALE BECOMES THE MOST ROMANTIC

BETWEEN THE AGES OF 17 AND 19.

SOUNDS LIKE MY MATING CALL.

MINE'S MUCH NOISIER.

WHILE THE FEMALE DOESN'T REACH HER

ROMANTIC PEAK UNTIL HER 35TH YEAR.

THIS, AS WE CAN WELL IMAGINE

PRESENTS CERTAIN SOCIAL PROBLEMS FOR THE COLLEGE MALE

SUCH AS EXTREME ANXIETY, FRUSTRATION, TENSION.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND A 35-YEAR-OLD GIRL

WHO DOESN'T YET QUALIFY UNDER MEDICARE--

SURE, THERE'S LOTS OF THOSE GALS AROUND. JUST GOTTA DIG A LITTLE.

WELL, SURE.

IN THE GROUND, THEY'RE BURIED EVERYWHERE.

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS, LISTEN,

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO

I'LL RACE YOU TO THE LOCKER ROOM

AND THE FIRST GIRL THERE GETS TO BUY ME DINNER.

HI, MEN.

HI!

HOW DOES FREDDIE DO IT?

WE ALL GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING WRONG THAT HE'S DOING RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM?

THINK HE'D TELL US?

I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU WERE HIM, WOULD YOU TELL US?

NO, WOULD YOU?

NO, BUT IT'LL GIVE ME A GOOD EXCUSE

TO BREAK HIS NOSE WHEN HE DOESN'T.

OH, GREAT, THAT'LL SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS.

THAT'S WHAT JOHN WAYNE WOULD DO.

I DON'T CARE WHAT JOHN WAYNE WOULD DO.

WELL, I DIG HIM. WE'RE THE SAME KINDA GUY.

SURE, YOU ARE. WE ARE.

YOU KNOW THE SHAVING COMMERCIAL HE DOES?

YEAH.

WE USE THE SAME BLADE EXPOSURE, NUMBER 5.

WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?

HE'S AT IT AGAIN.

HOW DO YOU FIGURE IT?

HERE WE ARE, BREAKING OUR BONES

PLAYING BASKETBALL, FOOTBALL, BASEBALL,

TRACK, AND THAT BUM FOOLS AROUND IN SWIMMING, TENNIS,

THE CHESS TEAM, THE BRIDGE TEAM. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S WHAT?

DON'T YOU SEE?

WE'VE BEEN PLAYIN' IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS, HE PLAYS WITH THEM.

YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

HOW STUPID CAN 2 GUYS BE?

TODD, LET'S GO BEAT HIM UP.

WE'LL FEEL BETTER. LESS FRUSTRATED.

CALM DOWN, BUDDY. SAVE YOUR ENERGY.

I'VE FINALLY DONE IT FOR US.

LIKE WHAT? WHAT?

2 DATES IN A ROW WITH THE SAME GIRLS.

NOT THOSE 2 BEATNIKS WE MET AT THE BAN THE BOMB MEETING?

NO, NO. LINDA AND BARBARA.

LINDA HUGHES AND BARBARA NORRIS, YOU'RE KIDDING?

GREAT. WHERE ARE WE TAKING THE GIRLS TONIGHT?

TONIGHT? THE DATE'S 2 WEEKS FROM NEXT THURSDAY.

...WHEN I TELL YOU THIS,

BUT I HAVE BEEN A WOMAN A LONG, LONG TIME

AND NEVER HAVE I FELT LIKE THE WAY I DO

WHEN YOU KISS ME.

OH, SHE'S TOO MUCH.

STOP IT, WILL YOU? HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN

2 PEOPLE MAKE LOVE IN A SINK BEFORE?

I'M SORRY.

FIRST, I WILL START WITH YOUR TOES.

DRY THEM OFF FIRST, DRY THEM OFF.

VERY FUNNY. $6.85 DOWN THE DRAIN.

WILL YOU JUST LISTEN TO THOSE 2 LAUGHING BACK THERE?

WE GOTTA BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

THEY DON'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY.

WHAT WOULD FREDDIE DO?

FIRST OF ALL, HE'D GET THE GIRLS TO PAY FOR THE TICKETS.

AT LEAST WE LEARNED SOMETHING.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE FOOD, WATER AND CLIMATE MUST BE TERRIFIC IN ROME.

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT SHAPE

THAT 35-YEAR-OLD SEXPOT'S IN.

MAN, SHE DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OVER 19.

HANG ON, BUDDY, THE EVENING'S YOUNG.

BE BACK IN A MINUTE.

ARTHUR?

ARTHUR?

HEY, ARTHUR?

ARE YOU A COP,

OR SOMEBODY WHO HAS REALLY RUN OUT OF GAS?

NEITHER. IT'S ME, TODD. TODD ARMSTRONG.

PULL UP A LITTLE.

WHAT FOR? I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.

NO, YOU IDIOT, THE CAR.

OH!

ASK STANLEY TO PULL BACK.

COME ON, ARTHUR.

ALL RIGHT.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT,

PROF. ROBERTS?

ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN.

THE LAST TIME, LINDA AND I TOOK A WALK

AND LEFT YOU AND BARBARA THE CAR.

ARE YOU SURE?

POSITIVE. DON'T YOU REMEMBER?

WHEN YOU TRIED TO KISS HER,

SHE BURNT YOUR NOSE WITH HER CIGARETTE.

OH, YEAH. THEN IT'S MY TURN. HOW LONG DO YOU THINK--

HALF AN HOUR.

HALF AN HOUR! HEY, IT'S COLD OUT TONIGHT.

SHH!

20 MINUTES, OK?

OK. SYNCHRONIZE YOUR WATCH.

11:12 AND 30 SECONDS.

11:12 AND 30 SECONDS.

THAT'S 35 SECONDS.

11:12 AND 35 SECONDS.

11:12 AND 40.

11:12 AND--

TODD, IT'S JUST YOU AND ME OUT HERE.

WHO ARE WE TRYING TO KID?

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!

OH!

HEY!

COME ON, TODD!

TODD, STOP!

STOP THAT! HELP!

DON'T, TODD!

NOW WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU'RE KIDDING.

ITALIAN MOVIES.

YOU'VE BEEN READING TOO MANY BOOKS, TODD.

BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME KISS YOU?

I DON'T KNOW, I--I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

BUT WHY? I MEAN, LOOK,

I'M A NICE, CLEAN-CUT AMERICAN BOY WITH A C-PLUS AVERAGE.

OH, LOOK,

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

WITH YOU, I JUST DON'T FEEL IT.

YOU MEAN, NOT LIKE FREDDIE, HUH?

OH!

OH, WELL, FREDDIE...

OH, WELL, FREDDIE.

2,190.

BOY, WE ARE A COUPLE OF LOSERS.

WE COULDN'T EVEN KISS 'EM GOODNIGHT.

KISS THEM GOODNIGHT?

WE COULDN'T EVEN WALK THEM TO THE FRONT DOOR.

2,191-- I DON'T GET IT.

THEY SAID THEY LIKE US.

I HEARD THEM SAY IT.

2,192...

HEY,

ARE YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T LISTENING TO THE RADIO?

2,194.

HEY, CRAIG, LOOK WHO'S COMING.

WHO? WHO? WHO?

I PROMISED YOUR HOUSEMOTHER

TO HAVE YOU BACK BEFORE DAWN.

MR. OPERATOR.

JANET, PLEASE! LET ME GO.

LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU DIRTY YOUNG MAN, YOU!

YEAH!

MY LIPS ARE EXHAUSTED.

LOOK, YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER DATE WITH ME

AGAIN SOMETIME SOON, I PROMISE.

BEFORE WE GRADUATE, ANYWAY.

JUST ANOTHER 5 MINUTES. PLEASE, FREDDIE.

LOOK, WE'LL HAVE A WHOLE WEEK IN THE SNOW TOGETHER.

OH, SURE, WITH INDIAN

AND BARBARA NORRIS AND LINDA HUGHES