Glee

So here's what you missed on Glee:

The New Directions! lost to the Warblers at Sectionals

when Marley collapsed in the middle of the show...

The New Directions! are finished.

...so Sue took over the choir room,

and now the Glee Club's homeless.

Puck went back to Lima after striking out in L.A.,

and he and Jake used to just be half-brothers,

but now they're, like, bros.

Jake and Marley are almost an item,

and Kurt got a surprise audition to NYADA,

and he totally got in.

That's what you missed on Glee.

I'm telling you, it's been keeping me up at night.

Something weird's going on with the Warblers.

They're doing all those weird flips and superhuman jumps

at Sectionals. Exactly, that's why they won.

And where was Roundfaced Warbler?

You said he was there when you went back to Dalton,

but come Sectionals, poof, he's gone.

So, what are you saying?

I think they cheated at Sectionals.

Sam, you can't make accusations like that

without any kind of evidence.

Well, then, I'll find some evidence.

Do you have any lip balm I can use?

What?

Conspiracy theories make my lips get all chapped.

Come on dude, it's not weird. We're like brothers.

Yeah, um, sure.

Here you go. Thank you.

Mmm.

Guys?

You're late. I know.

It's not...

This meeting of the McKinley High Student Council

is now in session.

First order of business:

Secretary Cohen-Chang,

will you please read the minutes from last meeting?

Sam did a Daniel Craig impression for 45 minutes.

: I'll have it shaken and stirred, too.

That was fantastic.

Thank you, Secretary Cohen-Chang.

Treasurer Motta, uh, if we could go through

the budget appropriations we were talking about last...

Yes, Tina?

It is now officially 142 days until Prom,

where all the hot girls get immediately snatched up

by all the hot guys,

then the sort of hot girls

get asked out by the sort of hot guys,

and then all the rest of us have to sit around and wait

for all the nerds and the freaks and the burn-outs and the losers

to work up some courage and ask us out

to the most awkward night of heavy petting we're likely

to get till we wake up in a nursing home

getting groped by an orderly.

Okay, well, the record,

I think you're totally sort of hot.

Like, if I was, like, in a bunker with you,

I would totally hit that.

Tina, what are you suggesting?

I propose the First Annual

McKinley High Sadie Hawkins Dance.

It's what you call a dance

where the girls ask the guys.

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

Why not?

It was the topic of discussion

at the last meeting of the.

"Too Young to Be Bitter Club."

Ever since I dated Puckerman,

no one will ask me to a dance.

I think everyone assumes you have herpes.

No one asks me to dances 'cause I have such clammy hands.

I'm a hot piece of ass

and I want to shake

this sweet thing on a dance floor.

Ba-bam.

Becky is right, if I understood what she said correctly.

Why are the guys so empowered to ask us to a dance

when we just have to sit around and wait?

Wouldn't it be great if we got to choose?

All in favor of a dance where the girls ask the guys...

W-Wait...

wait, wait a second. Hold on just one...

It's official.

Get ready for the first annual

McKinley High Sadie Hawkins Dance.

My first week at NYADA,

and the most surprising thing about college

is it's just like high school.

It's all about the cliques.

The stage combat majors are the jocks.

Classical acting majors are the preps.

The ballerinas are the mean girls,

and if they're at the top of the social pyramid,

then, once again,

I'm at the bottom.

I assumed Rachel and I would be as inseparable

as the twins in Side Show,

but she's always rushing off to help Brody

with something that requires him to be shirtless.

All right, Brody has an audition for Magic Mike: The Musical,

so I'm gonna go help him. I'll see you at home later.

And I love you. Mwah.

The truth is this guy needs

to start making new friends,

and just like in high school,

the best way to do that is extracurriculars.

Let's see, the Elizabethan Society,

the Grand Guignol Club,

the Tennessee Williams Play Reading Group, and...

What's Adam's Apples?

NYADA's show choir; You should join.

It's super fun.

I feel totally powerless.

Okay, any second any girl could just come up and ask us

to the dance, and it will be very hard to say no.

Or worse, no one asks us at all.

This must be what the girls feel like all the time.

It is.

Whoo!

Hey, Finn, want to arm wrestle?

It'll really get your blood flowing.

Not today, Coach.

Anyone?

Hey, pumpkin, I heard about Sue taking over your choir room.

I'm really sorry about that.

Yeah, yeah, it's been pretty rough.

I feel like we're the Fugees or something,

just bouncing around from available classroom

to available classroom.

You... wait, you mean like refugees?

Yeah. I mean, it's great we're still together as a group,

but without competitions, I have to come up

with something fun and interesting on a weekly basis

just to keep everybody involved,

and this week I'm just stuck. It's a no-brainer.

The Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Well, no offense, but how am I supposed to make a lesson

out of a dumb school dance?

When I was in high school,

girls like me didn't get asked out.

So the only dance I could go to

was Sadie Hawkins.

I asked the preacher's son.

He was stoned the whole time, but we had a ball.

Going to that dance gave me the courage

and the confidence to join the football team.

I was the first girl in Missouri to ever do it.

Sadie Hawkins

is a metaphor for empowerment,

and not just for women,

but for everyone

who is sick and tired of the status quo.

I want to sit under Venus.

I want to sit under Uranus.

What's so funny?

So this week in Glee Club, it's ladies' choice,

inspired by the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Which I thought of.

It was my idea.

Yes, thank you, Tina.

And every girl will sing to whoever

they want to take to the dance.

Well, I, for one, love this lesson.

I've got a song I want to sing to somebody.

RACHEL (whispering): Kurt, he's still sleeping.

Yes, I would, but shh.

Yes. Brody's here?

Did he spend the night?

Yeah. We had dinner last night at Balthazar,

and he insisted on taking me home.

Rachel. You know, the train ride back to Manhattan's really long,

so I just invited him to stay over.

Oh, Rachel Berry, I am scandalized.

Well, I just... I seized the moment.

I really, I like him,

and I'm tired of second-guessing something that feels so right.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Well, as long as you're happy

and I have a white noise machine,

I guess I'm happy, too.

How are you? How was your first week?

It was good, you know, a little lonely,

but I was thinking to meet people,

I would join the show choir

called the Adam's Apples. Oh, no, no, no, no. No.

Listen to me, there is a very rigid

performing arts hierarchy at NYADA,

and show choir is, like, it's the lowest of the low.

It's beneath stage managers and carpenters.

That is social and career suicide.

But at McKinley... We're not at McKinley anymore.

And we're done being underdogs; If you want to join a club,

just do anything but the Adam's Apples.

That's what all the future chorus kids do.

If you do show choir in college, all right,