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*BOB's BURGERS* Season 08 Episode 10

Episode Title : "The Secret Ceremics Room of Secrets "

So, Grandma's birthday is coming up.

Boom. Another one on the scorecard for Gram Gram.

She's still alive and probably shouldn't drive.

But you know those handmade gifts

you make for your grandma every year?

Know 'em? I half-ass 'em.

Yes, and she notices.

I didn't half-ass it. I made Grandma

a pretty great necklace last year.

One noodle on a string does not a necklace make.

Listen, Grandma could die this year.

I mean, we don't know.

- Bob. - I'm not saying she's going to.

- Yeah, it's exactly what you said. - God forbid.

If she did die, it would be horrible.

O-Obviously. And you kids wouldn't want

the last thing she saw to be your crappy gifts.

Point is, no half-assing it this year.

Wait, did she like what I got her last year?

- What was it again? - A shell.

- A shell? - Yeah, a shell, uh, and...

You know what, never mind. I can beat it.

And my dad's birthday's coming up, too, you know.

Handmade gifts for multiple grandparents.

Huh, wow. I guess we'll just take a sabbatical

from the slop shop to get all that done.

Just make the gifts. It's part of being a kid.

The worst part of being a kid.

Besides being scared the drain in the bathtub

will eat your penis.

Aw, poor Genie's weenie.

It's forced labor.

It's like when they make elephants paint.

Ugh, I wish I could paint like those elephants.

Check out this burnt Tater Tot, J-Ju.

- Wow. - I like it cooked,

not cooked in a kiln.

I mean, come on.

- What's a kiln? - What's a kiln?

You never been to Color Me Mine?

That's where I colored you yours.

Wait, the kiln, of course.

The Legend of the Lost Ceramics Room.

The Legend of the Lost Ceramics Room?

I'm not familiar with that one.

- Really? - Seriously?

How do you not know about that?

Everyone knows about that.

I... Well, I don't, okay?

Do you not talk to people on the playground, or...

- Can you just tell me, please? - Okay.

According to the legend that Wagstaff kids

have told each other for decades...

- Every kid but you, apparently. - Yeah, I get it.

It all happened forever ago,

in, like, the '80s.

Back when Huey and Carl Lewis ruled the world.

Wagstaff had a ceramics class then.

Kids were making stuff with clay all day, every day.

But then, over one weekend,

there was a kiln fire.

Sprinklers put it out,

but it was a huge smoky mess.

Like Winston Churchill.

On Monday, there was supposed to be

some big school board inspection or something,

so instead of cleaning the place up,

what does the principal do? He panics.

He and the janitor and the janitor's brother

slap a wall where the door used to be.

- Wall slap. - One day,

the ceramics room is there,

the next day, it's not.

All the pinch pots, all the vases,

all the cool Papa Smurf sculptures... sealed inside.

- You think that really happened? - What if it did?

What if we could find it? We wouldn't have to make any gifts,

because some kids in the '80s already made 'em for us.

- I don't know. - All we got to do

is figure out where this lost room is,

knock a hole in the wall... We're in, we're out.

Bing, bang, boom.

Seems like a lot of work to avoid making some gifts.

Plus, how do you even look for a lost ceramics room?

Ugh, I think we're gonna have to talk to grown-ups.

More like groan-ups.

An art program at Wagstaff? That's hilarious.

It rings a bell.

That was unrelated.

That legend's not true.

And I was a student at Wagstaff around that time,

so I would know. A pretty cool student, too.

Ever hear of the seventh grade class secretary?

'Cause I was elected that.

Hidden room? The only thing hidden

in this school is my personal toilet paper.

Ah, I've said too much!

Hey. Uh, you wouldn't mind if I worked on a little side project

while I'm eating, would you?

- Yeah, sure, it's okay, yeah. - Uh, maybe not.

Great. Uh, plug this guy in for me, will you?

The only outlet is by the coffee maker.

- It's kind of inconvenient. - Perfect. Plug her in.

- Mm-hmm. - I got it.

What's your side business, Teddy?

Oh, I'm replacing cracked cell phone screens.

Been doing it a couple of months now.

It's fun, but it's kind of lonely

at my house, alone.

I bet. -Uh-huh. You're really spreading out there.

Oh, yeah, you gotta, when you're working with this many

bits and pieces, you know, you got to spread it out.

I mean, but it's, like, three seats, Teddy,

- plus the light. - It's fine, it's fine.

- Mm-hmm. - Oops, ah.

I dropped a little screw behind the counter.

You mind grabbing that for me, Bobby?

You want to borrow my visor?

- Not really. - You see it?

No, I just see floor right now.

Yeah, you should really use my visor.

I-I don't want to, Teddy.

- Ooh, is that it? - No, that's dirt.

- Is that it? - No, that's...

- Oh, my God, what is that? - Oh. Oh, gross.

Okay, I think I got it. Here you go.

Thanks. Heh-heh. Whoa, I dropped it again.

- Bob, you mind? - Mm-hmm.

- It's a screw. It's little. - Mm-hmm.

I know, I just got it.

Is it true? I don't know.

If it's a weird, creepy legend, then it's probably true.

You should go look for it.

What else are you doing with your time?

- But how? - You need to find someone

that took ceramics then.

How do we do that?

Well, how the hell would I know?!

Whoa, whoa, can I see your coffee mug for a second?

It's not coffee, but I guess a sip wouldn't kill you.

Who's Rose Reynolds?

Beats me. It's a mug from the faculty lounge.

You think I buy my own mugs?

It looks like old Rose Reynolds made this mug in '83.

She might remember something.

- 1983, though, right? - Yes, Tina.

Cool, cool. I thought maybe 1883,

but... that's ridiculous. Too long ago.

Yes, that's pretty much how I remember it.

There was a ceramics room on Friday,

then on Monday, it was gone... Just walled up.

Now, Rose, at the time,

had Taco Tuesday been invented yet?

I want to say it had.

Thank you. No further questions.

Wow. Okay, so they sealed all the ceramics

and pottery in the room?

Yeah. I know for sure I made a couple Monchhichi mugs

I never got back.

So it's true. The legend's all true.

Now, can you remember where the room was?

Hmm, I think it was on the second floor...

No, the first. The third. Maybe.

So first, second, or third floor. Got it.

I might have an old yearbook, if that'll help.

I think we're done here.

Geez, we were leaving anyway.

No, I mean we are done here.

- Hi. - Thank you, sweetie.

You were so still in there.

That's where kids come from?

No, that's where kids end up, if they're my kids.

We make piñatas of ourselves.

It's fun. Do your parents not do this to you?

- Um, no. - Uh, can we get that yearbook?

I feel like we were lucky to get out of there

without getting kid-yata'd.

Hey, look, Frond was seventh grade secretary.

- More like sexy-tary. - Hold on, these kids are walking

- out of this room carrying pottery. - Okay.

If we can figure out where this was,

we'll find the lost ceramics room.

- And maybe ourselves. - Guys,

Rose didn't just give us an old yearbook

with so many pictures of skinny ties.

She gave us a treasure map.

Maybe this is the hallway.

Mm, not so sure.

That picture's in black and white,

and our school is in color.

Even if we find the ceramics room and it's full of ceramics,