The Middle

Through all history big brothers have been torturing their little brothers.

But sometimes, little bothers get the upper hand.

Give me back my guitar!

No. I wont it playing air hockey fair and square.

What? (Scoffs) But you don't even use it!

That's not true.

I use it to store my post-its.

Wow. You know?

I'm bigger and stronger than you, so I could just take it back...

You take it back and I'll tell all your friends that I beat you in air hockey.

I like this wire the best.

It's a string!

T-minus one day

until the "Planet Nowhere" book releases.

Now that we're in the home stretch,

I'll be switching to hourly updates.

Brick, enough with the reminders.

Your dad said he was gonna take you.

You're not the most reliable people.

Oh, and don't forget my costume.

I just need a furry hat and gloves that look like rocks.

And obviously, of course, a pointy nose.

Wouldn't want to look like an idiot.

Brick, I need to see you in my room right away.

It's muy importante.

Okay, as I'm sure you know,

it's mom and dad's anniversary coming up.

It's their 20th!

So what are we gonna do for them?

We've lit up their lives every day.

What more do they want?

I want to throw them a big surprise party,

like you guys did for me.

You guys got me so good. Remember?

Hmm.

Sue, I'm gonna be busy reading.

The seventh and final "Planet Nowhere" book

comes out tomorrow.

I've been reading these books for over half my life--

six years!

It's all been building up to this final book.

You guys, it's their 20th.

Hey, I have an idea. How 'bout we blow this one off

and really hit it hard for their 40th?

Axl, there might not be a 40th. They're getting older.

They might be dead by then.

- Oh, my God. - Sue, get a grip.

Okay, look--

let's just figure out who's doing what.

Invitations?

I'll do those. Food?

I got it. How about finding a venue?

That's more of a me job. Tell you what--

how 'bout you guys just work on the skit, okay?

- Can we go? - Whatevs.

Okay. But let's all leave the room at different times.

And everybody act normal.

Raise no suspicion!

So that's why I think he'll concentrate

more on the Silligans, who live in the outer rings,

but we haven't heard from them since book four,

so who knows?

Certainly not me.

Okay, I'll start at the beginning.

- Hmm. - So there's this planet

that exists outside of time and space,

its future rested solely on the whims

of the mighty dwarf warrior Gallantra.

Wow. Your 20th anniversary.

That's a really big deal, Frankie.

A really, really big deal.

Oh, I don't know. People get so nuts.

It's just one year later than the 19th.

Still, glad you made me buy him a card.

Ooh, what's going on here?

I bet it's a book signing.

This is where I got Joy Behar's autograph.

Have you read "Joy Shtick"? I'll lend you my copy.

No, they're releasing the last "Planet Nowhere" book today.

Actually, Mike and Brick should be in line somewhere.

Oh, I see 'em. There they are.

Aw. Look how cute Mike is.

He really is cute, isn't he?

You know what? I'm gonna call him

and tell him I see a cute guy

standing in line at the bookstore.

You two are adorable.

(Cell phone rings)

They're taking Soran and Ramale to the Outer Rings!

The Outer Rings! I knew it!

Hello.

- Hey. - Hey.

Did you happen to get a phone call from me today?

Uh...

Oh, yeah. I guess I did.

Probably didn't hear it ring.

Oh, really?

Well, I happened to be walking by the bookstore,

and I saw you look at your phone,

see it was me,

and then shove me back into your pocket

with your change and your lint.

Nancy Donahue saw it, too.

Yeah. It was kind of embarrassing.

So you're mad

because Nancy Donahue saw me not take your call?

No. I'm mad because after 20 years,

my husband no longer wants to speak to me.

You know, it's our 20th anniversary, Mike.

That's a really big deal. A really big deal!

Come on, Frankie.

You-- you never get tired and don't feel like talking?

No. My husband calls, I pick up the phone.

What if it had been an emergency?

Was it an emergency?

No. For your information,

I was calling to tell you you were cute.

See, that's the problem with cell phones.

It's created a world where people call you

just... with whatever thought pops into their head.

What I do is, I actually remember the interesting things

that happen during the day,

and then I share them when I get home.

If you think about it, that's... much more thoughtful.

Oh, I see. So you ignoring my phone calls

is actually you being thoughtful?

I'm just saying there's two sides.

No, there's not. There's one very mean side.

And you know what? Now that I'm looking at you,

I'm glad you didn't answer.

'Cause you're not that cute... at all.

You're actually kind of old.

Has anyone seen my "Planet Nowhere" book?

I set it down on the air hockey table for a second

because my eyes were starting to cramp,

- and now it's gone. - Wow.

- That is weird. - You.

You stole my book!

Brick, there's only one reason I'd steal your book,

and that would be to draw boobs on it.

And if I did that,

I would obviously show it to you.

This is all about the guitar, isn't it?

You just couldn't stand the fact that I had your guitar,

so now you took my book.

Mom, tell Axl to give me back my book.

You can find your book after dinner.

I was gonna read it at dinner.

Well, I guess now you're just gonna have to interact.

So, Mike,

I can't wait to hear about all the interesting things

that happened today that you've been saving up to share.

Everybody be quiet. Shh.

Your dad's gonna talk.

You have the floor.

As a matter of fact, there was something interesting.

Today was Dave's birthday,

so a couple ladies in bookkeeping threw him a party.

Eep!

Yeah. He was pretty surprised.

Oh, my God. That was so close.

Oh, God. When dad said "surprised,"

I totally thought they were onto us.

You know, I don't know how you guys kept it together.

Where's my book, Axl? I know you took it.

Hey! Until I see some proof,

I will not even address these malicious

and spurious charges!

"Law & Order." Watch it.

- Axl! - Shh!

Will you guys be quiet?

They're almost onto us as it is!

(Gasps) Oh, my God!

Oh! It's coming up! It's coming up!

Stop! Where are you going? I need your help!

While Sue plunged deeper into party planning,

Brick continued his increasingly desperate search.

Looking for this?

I knew it.

I knew you took it. Give it back right now.

Unh-unh-unh. Mm.

Since you've been raving so much about this book,

I decided to read it for myself.

Not the whole thing, of course. Just the last chapter.

Wanna know how it ends?

What? No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Pretty juicy.

Please, Axl, please don't tell me the ending.

I've spent six years of my life waiting to see how it ends!

I don't know. It's just so good.

I gotta tell somebody.

You can have the guitar back. It's all yours!

Eh, I don't want the guitar anymore.

I'm kinda into reading now.

Please, Axl. Come on. Just...

Just give me the book back.

Yeah, okay. (Chuckles)

Thank you.

Professor Faxon has been dead the whole time.