Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride

Sorry.

Where did she go?

What?

What? Who are you? But...

Where am I?

What? What the hell is this place?

What?!

You can't do that, I wasn't...

We're in flight. That is physically impossible, how did...?

Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me, right now, where am I?

Inside the TARDIS.

The what? The TARDIS. What? The TARDIS.

The what? It's called the TARDIS.

That's not a proper word. You're just saying things.

How did you get in here?

Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me.

Who was it? Who's paying you? Was it Nerys?

Oh, my God, she's finally got me back.

This has got Nerys written all over it. Who the hell is Nerys?

Your best friend!

Wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?

I'm going ten-pin bowling... Why do you think, dumbo!

I was halfway up the aisle! I've waited all my life for this.

I was just seconds away, and then you...

I dunno, you drug me or something.

I haven't done anything. I'm having the police on you!

Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband,

we're gonna sue the living backside off you!

No, wait a minute, wait a minute, don't...

You're in space,

outer space.

This is my...spaceship.

It's called the TARDIS.

How am I breathing?

The TARDIS is protecting us.

Who are you?

I'm The Doctor. You?

Donna. Human?

Yeah.

Is that optional?

It is for me.

I don't understand it, and I understand everything!

This can't happen. There is no way a human being

can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be...

It must be some sort of subatomic connection, something in the temporal field.

Maybe something macrobinding your DNA with the interior matrix...

Maybe a genetic...

What was that for? Get me to the church!

Right! Fine, I don't want you here anyway!

Where is this wedding?

St Mary's, Haven Road, Chiswick. London, England.

Earth. The Solar System.

I knew it.

Acting all innocent, I'm not the first, am I?

How many women have you abducted?

That's my friend's. Where is she then, popped out for a spacewalk?

She's gone.

Gone where?

I lost her.

Well, you can hurry up and lose me!

How do you mean, "lost"?

Right! Chiswick!

No, she didn't run away.

We're not talking jitters, she literally vanished,

now go and check the house, and see if she's there.

Oh, Angelica, that's not helping, is it? Now smarten up.

Lance, any sign?

I've looked all round. Where the hell did she go?

Showing off. First day at school, she was sent home for biting.

It's a bit more serious than that. She's never disappeared before.

She didn't disappear!

It's a trick, it's one of her silly little "look at me" party pieces.

Oh, what if she's dead?

Oh, don't say that.

I said St Mary's.

What sort of Martian are you? Where's this?

Something's wrong with her. The TARDIS, like she's...

recalibrating!

She's digesting.

What is it? What's wrong?

Donna,

is there anything that might have caused this?

Anything you might've done? Any sort of alien contact?

I can't let you go wandering off, not if you're dangerous.

Have you seen lights in the sky,

or did you touch something, like, something different,

something strange, like something made out of a funny sort of metal...

Who are you getting married to? You sure he's human?

He's not a bit overweight with a zip round his forehead, is he?

Donna!

Donna? Leave me alone.

I just want to get married. Come back to the TARDIS.

No way, that box is too weird.

It's bigger on the inside, that's all. Oh, that's all!

Ten past three, I'm gonna miss it.

Can't you phone them, tell them where you are? How do I do that?

Haven't you got a mobile?

I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets.

Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets?

When I went to my fitting, the one thing I forgot to say was, "Give me pockets!"

This man you're marrying, what's his name?

Lance. Good luck, Lance.

Oi! No stupid Martian is gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you!

I'm not... I'm not from Mars.

Taxi! He had his light on! There's another one.

Taxi!

Oi!

There's one.

Oi!

Why aren't they stopping?

They think I'm in fancy dress.

Lay off the sauce, darlin'!

They think I'm drunk. You're fooling no-one, mate!

They think I'm in drag!

Hold on, hold on.

St Mary's, in Chiswick, just off Haven Road.

It's an emergency, I'm getting married, just... Hurry up!

That'll cost you, sweetheart, double rates today.

Oh, my God. Have you got any money?

Um. No. Haven't you?

Pockets!

And that goes double for your mother!

I'll have him. I've got his number, I'll have him.

Talk about the Christmas spirit.

Is it Christmas?

Well, duh! Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve.

Phone box!

We can reverse the charges. How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?

Can't bear it, I hate Christmas.

Honeymoon, Morocco, sunshine, lovely.

What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial, 100?

Just call direct. What did you do?

Something...Martian. Now phone! I'll get money.

Oh, answer the phone!

Hello? Oh, now the battery's gone dead, has anyone got a charger?

Could you try the hotel?

Hello? Hello?

Vikram, is your phone working? I've got one wedding about to arrive

and another wedding refusing to leave, so it IS a police matter.

Mum, get off the phone and listen!

I'm in... Oh, my God, I don't know where I am.

It's a street... and there's a WH Smith.

But it's definitely Earth!

Excuse me. I'm begging you, I'm getting married, and I'm late,

and I just need to borrow a tenner, and I'll pay you back, I promise.

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Taxi!

St Mary's, Chiswick.

Thanks for nothing, spaceman! I'll see you in court!

Donna!

I'll give you the rest when we get there.

Oh, I look a mess.

Hurry up!

Hold on a minute, I said Chiswick!

You've missed the turning. Excuse me?

We should've turned off, back there.

We're going the wrong way!

What the hell are you doing?

I'm late for the wedding.

My own wedding, do you get that?

Turn around! Turn this cab around right now!

Are you deaf or what?

Oh, my God.

Help me!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Help me! Get me out!

Help me!

Help me, I'm being driven by a robot!

Behave!

You are kidding me.

Open the door!

Do what?

Open the door!

I can't! It's locked!

Santa's a robot!

Donna, open the door.

What for?! You've got to jump!

Am I blinking flip jumping! I'm supposed to be getting married!

Listen to me, you've got to jump!

I'm not jumping on a motorway!

Whatever that thing is, it needs you.

And whatever it needs you for, it's not good!

Now come on!

I'm in my wedding dress! Yes, you look lovely. Come on!

I can't do it!

Trust me.

Is that what you said to her?

Your friend. The one you lost.

Did she trust you?

Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now jump!

Funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't do that much flying.

We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?

Doesn't matter.

Did we miss it?

Yeah.

Well, you can book another date.

Course we can.