April Fool's Day

Go.

Go.

Oh, um, hi.

Uh, my name is Mary O'Reilly O'Toole O'Shea

and, uh--

Don't be nervous.

Somewhere out there

is the island my friend Muffy owns.

It's spring break,

and she's invited us there for the weekend.

We're waiting for the ferry

to take us there and, uh,

I don't know what else to say.

- Why don't you tell us something about yourself?

Oh.

All right.

Something about myself.

Um, I want to work with handicapped children,

and my parents are my best friends.

Oh, and I start convent school next semester.

And I fuck on the first date.

April Fool's.

Nikki, baby, you're outrageous.

Get out of here, you knucklehead.

All right.

Uh, Kit,

how about you?

I pass.

Uh, Arch, Skip.

Where are you?

Come on.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Sure, uh-huh.

I fuck on the first date.

We did, on the first date.

Didn't we, honey?

He's an animal.

Need any help down there?

No, Clara.

Thanks.

I'm just doing some last minute straightening up down here.

I don't think I've worked so hard in my life.

You're sure you don't want me to stay?

There's gonna be nobody around here to help

till the first ferry back, Monday, you know.

No.

Clara, you're a peach.

This one's mine.

I told my father I'd do it

and I will, my way.

We don't want him to have any excuses.

All right, then.

Have a nice party.

Nice?

It's going to be better than nice.

It's going to be bloody unforgettable.

Good luck.

Here comes the ferry.

Is this the ferry to the St. John house?

Yeah, any second now.

Oh, thank goodness!

I didn't know if I was on the right road or not.

Let me help you.

Kit Graham.

Nan Youngblood.

Hi.

That's Nikki Brashears.

Are you planning on staying a while?

- No, it's just some work for finals when we get back.

You don't know how far behind I am.

Hi!

How's it going?

I got it.

Hi, Arch Cummings.

I've seen you around.

Jewett Hall, right?

Chaz Vyshinsky.

You've got great legs.

Chaz, Arch already has her bags.

I only met Muffy this term.

In Drama Society.

I volunteered to do their costumes.

I like to sew.

Did you see her in "Ghosts"?

No.

Oh, she was wonderful.

She's so talented.

Yeah, she is.

Guy, your fly is open

and your Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.

Come on if you're coming!

- Excuse me, sir, but we're still waiting for someone.

This is Friday, my last run of the week.

I don't get paid overtime.

But you have to wait because they said

this is the only way over

and if he misses this one, how is he--

Wait up!

Go, go, go!

Sorry, guys.

Nik, Chaz, hi.

Rob Ferris.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Harvey "Hal" Edison Jr.

But please, call me Hal.

Only my folks call me Harve and I just can't stand it.

Sure is pretty here, isn't it?

You're friends with Muffy St. John?

Sure am.

We sit together in Econ 3.45.

I let her copy my marginal utility curves.

Oh, I get it.

That's a joke.

Harve.

Hal Springsteen!

Still the boss!

Okay, let's go-

We don't have all day.

You all buddies?

Except for Skip and Nan.

Them we just met.

But we will be.

Careful what you say to him, though.

He's Muffy's cousin.

Oh, no kidding!

Distant.

Over the horizon.

Otherwise I wouldn't have been invited.

Old money never mixes family with friends.

This is true, as long as I've known her.

To protect her family, I guess.

No, to keep her friends.

Choose your weapons, big guy.

Hey, what's this?

You up for a game of Stretch?

Okay-.

Skip, your fly's open.

Eat it!

Ah, Rob!

Your fly is open.

Okay, don't believe me.

Oh, nice.

We're off.

Bye.

First round, the Champ!

You know what I find amazing?

Muffy's her real name.

I mean, my name's Harvey, but they call me Hal.

So I figure Muffy must stand for something.

Muffin?

- Muff-child, Moffo the Muffster, Muffin' Stuff--

Muff dive.

Hi, what are you reading?

Milton's "Paradise Lost".

For Professor Russo's course on English Epic.

Mmm.

You know, it's a shame.

It's a dying form.

Dying.

- Not too many people read it nowadays, even in college.

Really?

What about you?

Oh, er,

"Treasure Island: The History of Pornography in America".

I'm a state university boy.

I don't have the perks

Like some of you private college kids.

No, no, no.

Don't give me that.

First of all, I'm hoping to interview

with her daddy's company, Southern Regional Sales,

next year before graduation.

You know, he's worth more than 50 million over the counter.

But I don't think that's why she invited me, do you?

I mean, my God, we're not going to be

sheltered little college kids our whole life.

Wake up!

Smell the bacon, Nan!

It's research I can do all on my own.

And this is the best part, I never get tired of it.

You want to take a look?

Bruce's car was in the shop.

That's not my point.

Oh, my God.

We're going to spend a weekend there?

What are you a fucking wimp?

I'm really not that interested anymore.

Come on, man!

Just one more.

Double or nothing.

Enough's enough.

What?

Are you scared?

Hey, I said give it a rest.

Oh, fuck!