Jury Duty

Execute.

Go! Go! go!

I got the back!

Moving in!

Make sure he's there!

Freeze!

Yeah, my favorite stripper.

Gorgeous Goliath!

Feel something hot? Give him a hand!

Goliath!

Now, remember, ladies, at least five

of these gorgeous, gorgeous hunks you are seeing here tonight

are gonna be exclusive

International House of Beefcakes dancers!

And now, our next steaming slab of man.

(POP GOES THE WEASEL PLAYING)

Take it off, baby.

The Cream Machine!

The mighty, mighty Cream Machine.

It's stupid.

Yahoo!

Yeah!

Okay, wait one second.

Come on.

He's creamy.

Yuck.

Whoo!

Aah!

The mighty Cream Machine.

Slippery when wet.

Ugh!

With cheese!

Dairy products like you've never seen them before.

Come here, come here!

Hey.

Hi.

Let's go back to my place and curdle.

Eww!

Ugh! Go!

Okay, boys, the votes are in.

Read it and weep.

I made it, I made it. Congrats.

We're gonna be dancers.

Let me through.

I'm gonna call Mother.

"Adonis, Thor, Sgt. O'Tool, Goliath, Zeus, the Cream..."

Huh?

Excuse me.

I don't understand what happened.

I mean, I was good, right?

Kid, you were too good.

But I got personality!

Personality?

Unfortunately, uh, that's not what the people are paying for.

A kid like you, you're special. You could do anything.

What about fast foods?

It's too greasy.

Post office?

Too dangerous.

You ever fill in potholes? Too labor-intensive.

What about giving sperm?

Also too labor-intensive.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, thanks for trying to hook me up here

at the International Beefcake House, Uncle Sal.

Hey, what's family for, huh? Get over here.

Huh? Who loves you more than your Uncle Sal? All right, goodbye.

Personality!

Oh, well, Peanut,

some things just aren't meant to be. What else is there?

"We pay big bucks for your dog.

"Animal Lab Testing Corporation."

Don't worry, Peanut, I wouldn't do that to you again.

(SWEET SOUL REVUE PLAYING IN JAPANESE)

Right behind me, Carl Wayne Bishop,

the accused Drive-Thru Killer, sits alone

in his 6 by 8 solitary cell.

Coincidentally, the cell is roughly the size of his old workspace.

But there are no burgers, no fries, no frosty shakes.

Just an accused serial killer and his conscience, awaiting trial by jury.

12 brave citizens riding shotgun for...

Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bacey.

Rise and shine, puddin'.

Wake up, Tommy.

Mom, it's not noon yet.

Oh, I brewed you some fresh coffee.

Uh.

But, Mom, that'll keep me up all day.

Puddin', tell me, what happened with your job interview?

I must have been fast asleep when you came in.

What job interview?

The one at the dairy.

Well, Mom, it didn't really happen. I didn't get the job.

Ah.

That's all right, puddin'.

It's okay.

It's dangerous being a milkman.

I saw a whole program on it

on cable television.

I'll find something, Ma. You just don't worry.

Oh, look no further, Mr. District Attorney.

What's this?

A jury duty notice?

My son, the lawyer.

Ma, it pays $5 a day, okay?

Look, look at me. I got stuff to do.

Yes, but...

I heard that when the trial is important,

they sequester the jury in very posh hotels.

Hey, Ma, what could be better than this?

Tommy, you just threw away your entire future.

Mom, honey-face, snookum-pie,

I'll find something.

Hear ye, hear ye!

Hey, Ma, look!

Harry the Hot Tub King is slashing all prices.

That's right.

The widest selection. I demand it.

The finest...

Hey, Mom, look. Safe sex.

Oh, I...

I have to finish dressing.

Hey, Jed. Hi.

I got two words for you, son.

Polystyrene.

It's like white gold, Tommy. It's everywhere.

People are throwing this stuff away, right and left,

treating it like the plague.

But south of the border, they can't get enough of it.

So, here's what we do.

We find it, clean it, ship it. Bingo.

Easy village, huh? Right.

Come here, I want to show you something. Come on.

Look. Look, what do you see?

A truck full of shit.

No, Tommy. That's the future.

This stuff is light as a feather.

And the best part of it is, they pay you by the pound.

Wow! Then you must be making a fortune.

Yeah.

Ta da! I'm ready.

Where are we going?

Uh, Vegas.

Oh, great! Peanut loves craps.

Siegfried and Peanuts.

You didn't tell him?

I knew there was something I forgot.

Okay, you guys, we are ready.

Tommy, um...

Your mom and I are going to Las Vegas to get married.

Alone.

Wait a minute. Where are you guys gonna stay?

Honey, we'll be back before you know it.

It's gonna be a very quick honeymoon, right, Jed?

But, Mom, where will Peanut and I eat, sleep, and watch TV?

They're gonna take very good care of you.

I made arrangements for you to stay at the Woodalls.

Bye, puddin'.

The Woodalls?

Oh.

Come on, Tommy. We won't hurt you.

Court is in session.

Thanks for the ride, Uncle Morty.

Say hi to your mom for me.

Whoa! Look at that erect building.

Okay, Peanut. Take a deep breath.

Remember, we go to different courtrooms

until they find the trial that's right for us.

And the trial that's right for us is a very long one