Only Murders in the Building

I got an offer on my place.

We could start over, find our style as a couple.

If I move, how do I know I'll be happy there?

Sounds like our mothers had a few things in common.

-Tell me more. -Let's just say she did a number on me.

My husband ran a few businesses in the Arconia,

and Lester worked for him.

Lester didn't wanna tell me much about what he did.

He didn't feel good about the job.

But you think somebody killed my husband?

-Yeah. -Could I take you out to dinner?

I have no evidence that you're actually a good guy.

We're just a bunch of rich people hashing out a bet.

The same one we were trying to settle

the last time we were in that gaming parlor.

The night your doorman died,

we played for a very big contract.

One of you is planning to build New York City's first casino.

I think I'll start renovations

with... Oliver's apartment.

What are you talking about?

That offer on your place was from me.

I'm the one buying up all the apartments here.

You're turning The Arconia into a casino?

All in.

For thousands of years,

men have sung about luck being a lady.

In Carmina Burana, Carl Orff obsesses over Fortuna,

-the goddess of fortune. -

Frank Sinatra prayed for luck to be a lady,

but still worried she'd go "blow on some other guy's dice."

Men love to blame anything in their life

-that they can't control... -

...their bad luck, on ladies.

Listen, you animals, next round is on me, alright?

- -Ah! As long as the scotch

isn't old enough to be kissed, or drafted.

Uh-oh.

Queen of Decor has noticed my cracked leather.

Worst day of my life.

-Adds character. - You're just being sweet.

Ah, this place has seen better days.

Hey, get lost.

I know what she likes.

-Interested in a makeover? -What are you thinking?

Uh, bangs or a shag?

For the casino, you goof.

I could help. Give it a woman's touch.

Ooh, what about this idea?

Let me host a private Ladies' Night in here.

Once a month.

A night without cigars...

or loud men hitting on us.

Done.

I love ladies.

But don't worry, I never hit on 'em unless they want me to.

-And if they want you to? -

Well, then, I make 'em a drink.

We have to move out because of a casino?!

Do you remember what I had to do to hold onto my apartment?

I burned a man.

I set fire to a dear friend!

-Plus, I bought a Peloton. -

-Hey! -Hi!

Look at this cute place.

Oh my gosh, THĒ!

Oh, I'm taking a dance cardio class,

and we're using one of your songs for a routine.

- -I would show it to you,

but it's got a lot of thrusting.

It's not appropriate for a lady.

Unnecessary.

Mabitita, my new old friend,

I got you and however many plus-ones you want

tickets to a party tonight.

I'd totally come with, but we both know I'd just get drunk,

and tomorrow I'm in a music video

where I have to operate heavy machinery, so...

Thank you so much. I just-- I have a lot of case stuff.

No, chica, this is case stuff.

It's an impossible invite to get.

It's a Ladies' Night for important ladies like moi,

and it's literally in the building.

You get in through like-- like a closet or something,

sort of like a speakeasy. Ooh-la-la.

What?

But Nicky's dead.

Wait, who's throwing this party?

That brings me to interesting "detalio numéro deux."

-It's thrown by Camila White. -

- -Oh, my gosh.

- I love you now, THĒ! -Oh! Ah!

Well, then, that makes everybody.

He's cute! Let's keep him.

Okay, so the Arconia has 165 units.

Camila owns 82.

Okay, so, uh, one half of that is-- You got one and zero and--

Wait, there's a decimal, so--

-Uh, Camila currently owns-- -Forty-nine percent!

I can-- I can't believe how close I was to selling to Camila.

A lot of people sold. And now she only needs--

One more apartment, and she'll own f-f-f-- 51% of the building.

Okay, stop doing math. We have to save our home.

What are we gonna do?

What am I gonna do? Loretta wants to move.

She's made an impossible amount

of Pinterest boards for our future home

during her seemingly endless delay at the airport.

She's still at the airport?

Loretta is coping with having lost everything in a fire.

And if I tell her I don't want to start over,

she's gonna feel forced into a home that she didn't want

for the rest of our marriage,

and I'm getting a divorce.

Well, if we lose the building, you don't have to worry about that.

Is anyone else thinking of selling?

-I'll dig around. -

Guys!

Camila is throwing a Ladies' Night in the gaming parlor.

-Ladies' Night! Perfect! -We're saved!

I'm sorry, why is this perfect?

Mabel doesn't understand the power of Ladies' Night,

-'cause she doesn't have any lady friends. -I'll explain it to her.

See, when the ladies get together

without the gentleman, they start yappin'.

See, a bunch of hens, they drink and they talk about boys.

Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.

And you'll connect with Camila on a new level.

- -A female level.

She'll tell you everything.

-Does it... work that way? - No.

Also, how did we get this invite?

Oh, right, from my lady friend.

You should bring a party favor.

Matching personalized necklaces.

-Yeah, I'll bring some tampons. -Mabel, please don't swear.

I really thought we had made more progress than this.

If only you two were ladies.

Oh, not to worry.

We don't have to Tootsie.

I got this.

-Tootsie is a movie where a guy-- -I don't care.

Hey, baby, are you still at terminal two?

Uh, yeah.

Well, I lost my sense of self in Hudson News,

what seems like three years ago.

But, uh, yeah, my body is still in the airport, so...

-Which brings me, uh, to a request. -

Might you delay your return to New Zealand by one day?

Um, Mabel's been invited to a murderous billionaire's Ladies' Night.

Mabel doesn't know

-the first thing about Ladies' Night. - You're attention please.

All international flights

-have been canceled. -Oh, my God.

Now, they've canceled all--

They canceled all the international flights.

So yeah, I'm on my way, okay?

What if we come at this from two directions?

Charles and I save the building by going door-to-door,

convincing people not to sell.

And the ladies get Camila gabbing about murder on Ladies' Night.

Charles, an extremely rich and violent woman

is not gonna just start "gabbing" with me because we're both women.

Fair point.

But what if, as they say,

you "rosé all day" her?

Okay, that was sexist.

But, what if you bring a glam squad?

Women love to talk to their manicurists.

- -Happens every time I go to my manicurist.

- - Look who I found.

- - Whoa! What is this duo?

-What's up, ladies? - Is this great or what?

I haven't seen her since she arrested me for murder.

My plane is canceled. Her plane is canceled.

-And I told her all about the thing. -Mwah!

The plan, and the Ladies' Night, and everything.

And she said she wanted to come

-and help save the Arconia. -Really?

No, I wanted to go on my fucking vacation.

Do you know I'm supposed to be in Cabo right now

with my lady and my baby?

This would've been the first fuckin' time

that we would've had a chance to get away

since that little shit was born, and I would've finally got a massage.

So, you two are joining Ladies' Night?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Because I'll be damned if I get a call talkin' 'bout, "Oh, my God,

I couldn't get a confession. I fucked up."

So, I just said, you know what, fuck it, I'ma be here myself

and do what we need to do.

Plus, I do know my way around a card table.

What? That's a new twist.

Oh, yeah. I worked at this busted-out joint

and I learned how to cold deck.

-Cold deck? What is that? -Oh, yeah. Don't even worry about it,

let me do my job. So, this is what we're gonna do.

I am gonna get Camila to get on this, like, losing streak, right?

And then, we will get that confession.

How will losing get her to confess?