Lip Service

Playing crockery Jenga?

Yeah, bloody Sadie. How much washing up can you generate in three days?

Oh, um, actually, some of it's mine.

But don't worry, I'll clean it up later.

Oh, well, you know, you've got a job, at least.

That's a reason to let things stack up.

Are you still not sleeping?

Nope.

I've tried reading, chamomile, stretching before bed.

I could nab you some morphine from the hospital, if you like.

Really?

Oh...sorry.

I'm even slower than normal at the moment.

Hey, come here.

Maybe you need to get out of the house.

I know that work doesn't sound too tempting,

but it might be really nice to be someone else for a few hours.

Yeah.

Morning. Morning.

Um, we said no smoking in the communal areas.

Oh, right. Sorry.

And that's my yoghurt!

I mean, I don't mind or anything.

It's just, you know, you could chip in with the shopping.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next time.

Hey, how's Frankie?

Fine.

Maybe she needs more than cigarettes and yoghurt.

I thought SHE was the doctor.

You should watch your iPod around her. She's a thief.

Spoons.

Um, Lexy?

Um...

Er, thanks. I'm going to...try and sort myself out.

Yeah. Good luck, eh? Yeah.

Got you breakfast.

Tess so needs to rub one out over Lexy.

Have you got any knickers I can borrow?

Why are you up? I've got an appointment.

For that magazine we did the pictures for.

You recommended me. Well, I recommended me.

Thanks for that. From your e-mail.

Decided to write my own little article,

seeing as the journo didn't show.

I think it's my turn to get a curry in.

Housemates are getting tetchy I'm not pulling my weight.

How long are you planning on staying?

I can go now if you want.

Whatever.

Answer it.

Hello. Moody Cow Photography. Can I help you?

No, no, she's just here.

It's your mum.

Yeah, hello. Yeah, yeah, OK.

Frankie!

Yeah, I just wanted to say

I'm really sorry about the other day.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah, we can talk about it then.

Yeah. Yeah, I know it.

OK, bye.

Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

Was that work? No.

Um, do you want to maybe go for a walk later and visit Cat's grave?

I'm busy. What about lunch with me and Ed?

Let me see how I get on later, yeah? OK.

I'm going for a shower.

We could pop down the driving range later.

No, I've got this blooming counselling thing, remember?

Oh, God. Can't you just refuse?

No, it's the DCI's big thing - touchy-feely management.

It'll just ruffle more feathers if I don't go.

When I was in the force,

you were lucky to see a dentist if you got your teeth smashed in,

let alone a psychiatrist.

You all right, Dad?

I think I need a break.

What's wrong with you?

A burglar carrying a telly could do double this.

Sam!

Hey. How are you doing?

I'm all right.

Sorry, Lexy, this is my dad.

Mum and Dad have just come up for a couple of days to, you know...

Alfie.

I've come to knock her into some sort of shape.

You know, like one of them Kenyan pacemakers.

So, um...

..how do you two know each other, then?

It's just from running. Yeah, yeah, from running.

I'm a bit of a newbie to all this, as you can probably tell by my physique.

Well, I don't know. Dad.

Well, I should probably... Yeah, we should go.

Don't want you seizing up.

Hey, you worry about yourself, sunshine.

You've slowed me down enough this morning.

Nice to meet you. See you, Sam.

Bye. No pain, no gain.

Nice girl. She's all right.

Is she one of your lot?

How was your run?

Mum, what are you doing?

I just thought I'd get it clean and tidy.

I don't want you touching any of our stuff.

Hey! Hey! It was my idea, all right?

I told your mum to do it while we were out.

A good airing always helps.

I appreciate that, but I will do it in my own time.

OK, OK. No need to bite anyone's head off.

Right, then. If you'll excuse me,

I've got a breakfast date with Christine Bleakley.

There wasn't much to clean. Cat's pretty tidy, wasn't she?

Yeah. I wish we could have met her.

At least gone to the funeral. It wasn't going to change anything.

It's so like the NHS doctor,

trying to fill the bed while it's still warm, eh?

I'm not. I just said she looks good in lycra.

Right.

Come on. Her girlfriend just died, for fuck's sake.

I'm not going to blame you for trying.

I mean, it's not like you're getting much, is it?

I get enough.

It's not today, is it? Please tell me it's not today.

What?

Gash Wednesday.

Stop calling it that. Anyway, we've diversified.

It's not just Wednesdays. Whatever. It's weird.

It works. But with someone from the hospital?

Have you never heard the expression "don't piss in your own lift"?

What's the difference between that and sex-ray,

apart from the fact that I'm actually fucking mine?

That IS going to happen. Yeah, right.

And when have you ever known me to fail?

First time for everything. Yeah, well, we'll see.

Oh, hi. Hi.

I think you've had a little accident.

It's actually...

It's just a wee bit of egg from my breakfast.

Some egg!

Come on, Romeo.

Well, at least he was looking in the zone.

Who's that?

Hot cop decided she's over it and is going to ask you out?

I wish.

What do people usually get?

For, like, Mother's Day and stuff?

It's a bit corporate for us.

But you've got a good take. Who else have you written for?

All over, really. Mostly down south.

What sort of stuff?

Property, lifestyle...

..art, music...

Film, theatre?

I can turn my hand to most things.

Except spelling.

Ensuite is spelt E-N, not O-N.

Ah.

All right, look, I'm an estate agent.

Was.

Which is why I know what I'm talking about.

Hotel was shit.

But I need the money, so are you going to use it or not?

Needs more subbing than it's worth.

So why bother getting me in, then? As I said, you've got a decent take.

And I like to check out new talent.

If you get any other ideas,

send them in to my assistant, the boy over there,

and he'll pass anything good up to me.

Thank you for coming in.

Thank you.

Nice shoes, by the way.

Do you remember the time when she locked herself

between the door of our flat and the front door of the building

without her phone for seven hours?

You not hungry? No.

We can talk about something else. No, it's nice.

It's better than the conversations I've been having all week.

Mum, phone calls from the rellies,

everyone saying how nice she was - clever, tidy.

It's like she's been canonised.

Tell me something else crap about my sister.

Something bad.

Go on.

She must have told you stuff she didn't tell me.

She didn't have a TV licence at uni.

Maybe she WAS perfect.

How's work?

Well, I've got to meet my agent tomorrow.

Talk about Rings Two.

I haven't even thought about it, to be honest.

I mean, he's around at night, but the last thing I want at the moment

is to be alone with my thoughts.

It's just so lonely without her.

It makes me wish...more...

..I had someone else around to distract me.

Don't worry - not you.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry. How's rehearsals? Um...

Are you not back yet?

Tomorrow. I'm going to go back tomorrow. It might be good for you.