De første 200 linjer.
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Flat white to go for Maury.
Maury?
Maura?
Mary?
- I made that one already. - Oh, who's this for?
Alexander. But keep up the good work.
- Okay. - So what'd you want to talk about?
I think it's maybe better if we do that in your office.
Oh. I'm so sorry you won't be gracing us with your presence anymore.
And I'll see you in about a week
when you quit whatever bullshit gig you're leaving for
and come back here begging for your old job again.
Ray, I know that it must hurt to see someone leave all of this,
but it's really not a bullshit job, so...
- What is it? - What?
The bullshit gig, what is it?
"GQ" magazine.
Did they need someone for a before picture in a makeover article?
No, it's a writing job.
They saw one of my pieces online
and I'm going to be working for a new section--
"Field Guide to the Urban Man."
Who's the sponsor?
What do you mean?
There's no way "GQ" hires you to be a staff writer.
So it's obviously one of those advertorial sections
where it looks like a real article so they trick you into reading it,
but then you find out it's a paid advertisement
which is both morally and creatively bankrupt.
So who's the sponsor?
Neiman Marcus.
Neiman Marcus?
Do you think I'm fucking excited, Ray?
Do you think that I think this is the best use
of my literary voice and my myriad talents?
Maybe we should talk about this back in my office.
- No. - Excuse me.
I already quit. There's no reason for me to go to your office.
Stop making a scene in front of the customers.
I am coming with you as a gesture of friendship.
Though I am not your employee, so I don't technically have to.
Right now!
Set the pick!
Up high. Rotate.
Isolate. Clear out.
- I got you. - Put it up.
Here, and one.
Nice job.
- Hannah Horvath's office. - Mike Lawson, please.
Okay, I'm new here, so maybe you just...
Okay.
It's a cappuccino, Dean. It's not a cup of chino.
Okay? Fucking animals.
Ahem.
Hello?
Yes, hi, I'm trying to reach Marnie Michaels, please.
This is she. May I ask who's calling?
- It's Ray. - I didn't recognize your voice.
Did you not recognize my voice?
No, I did. I'm calling you, so I already know--
you know, I was just going for a little joke there. What's up?
- How can I help you? - Right.
As to the matter at hand.
I don't know if there is a matter at hand.
I was just calling just to check in with you, really,
and just to say that I--
I enjoyed spending time with you the other day.
Yeah, that was--
that was definitely unexpected.
Indeed, yes. Most unexpected indeed.
So, anyway, yeah, I just wanted to check in and--
Could you stop saying "checking in"? It's fucking weird.
It's a fucking thing people say, okay?
Relax. I'm using semantic convention to sound accessible.
- Oh, my God. - Anyway, I'm calling you
just to say, you know, let's not let all this affect our friendship.
But we're not even friends.
Then so let's not let it affect that either.
Okay, will do.
Look, I'm trying here, okay?
I'm trying to follow the protocols of a gentleman and a squire.
- But if you keep-- - Okay, thank you.
And if you'll excuse me, I'm just in the middle
of watching a pretty interesting television program, so...
- Yeah? Which one? - Do you care?
- Not at all. - Okay, bye-bye.
What?
- I do care. - About what?
About which shitty television program you're watching.
- I care. - Prove it.
Marnie?
- Hey. - Hey.
- What's up? - Nothing much.
Yo.
Can I help you with something?
Sorry, I was just screwing with you. Sorry.
- Hey, I'm Joe. - Hannah.
- Nice to meet you. - I know. I know all about you.
I read your piece about...
cocaine
Yeah, I feel like that wasn't as retweeted as it should have been.
- So I appreciate the support. - No, I'm not on Twitter.
But I'll Instagram it later if you want.
I don't think that even makes sense.
- So... - No, it doesn't.
I bet you're probably wondering right now, "Where do I go to pee?"
I'm really wondering that.
Yeah, no one tells anyone anything around here.
They just assume you have corporate sonar.
Yeah, but I wouldn't call this a corporate job.
I mean, this is "GQ" magazine. It's a literary institution.
Shh, careful.
You don't want the real "GQ" writers hearing you say you work at "GQ."
- Wait, why? - They're really fucking snobby
about the difference between editorial and advertorial.
I don't know if you heard about that.
Which is such fucking bullshit because we all work at the same magazine.
You know? We're all here just selling our souls.
Totally won't say it again.
Anyway, enough blabbering.
Why don't I give you a quick tour?
Okay. Great.
The women's room is back this way.
Unless you want to see the snack room first.
You just said snack room and everything blurred.
And then there's donuts
and finger sandwiches in the afternoon.
- Finger sandwiches? Cool. - Finger sandwiches.
- So help yourself. - Oh, I don't know.
Maybe later. I'm on kind of a budget. I don't know.
Is it like-- do you swipe your employee ID or is it an honor system?
What? No, it's all free.
- It's free? - It's all free.
- You're saying all this is free? - Yeah.
- Even the Sun Chips? - Yeah.
- Even the Clif Bars? - Yeah.
Even the lox, which is disgusting, but very expensive?
It's actually Russ & Daughters. It's pretty good.
Oh, my God.
Mm, it's 11:45. We got to go.
Just give me one moment to catch up with you.
Guys, this is Hannah. Han--
Hannah?
- Hi. - Hey.
I'm Hannah
and I feel I may have overdone it on the snacks a little bit.
No, I said I needed a christening dress.
So what's the problem?
Christening dresses are usually white, aren't they?
Not the chic ones.
And also, isn't that small for a one-year-old?
No, unless your child is morbidly obese,
in which case I can't help you.
- All right, I'll take it. - Fabulous.
Anyways, as I was saying,
Ray really seems to have the respect of his peers on the court.
Oh, that's amazing. It's really hard for a Jew to gain respect in sports.
Mm-hmm. He's not a Jew, though.
Right.
So his new coffee place
is such a refreshing departure from the average java house grind.
- I've never been there. - No, me neither.
That's just what "Time Out New York" said.
"Despite the unfortunate familiarity of its name,
Ray's is a refreshing departure from the average java house grind."
Ray is being written about in popular service publications and my life is a mess.
And I know that that was a personal choice,
but I feel like maybe it is time for me to unchoose that choice.
Like, step one: I need to be
in a solid, mature, committed relationship
with someone who understands my goals and values.
Like Berren.
Is that the guy with the deep V?
You're right. Parker's a much better choice.
He's just so stupid
that I worry that our children wouldn't get into preschool.
See, I live with my boyfriend in Brooklyn.
Oh, nice. You're shacking up.
- I guess so. - What does he do?
Like, a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
Karen's boyfriend is actually in a very similar field.
He was in a very similar field.
Wait, so it's officially over between you and Jake
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