Die ersten 200 Zeilen.
Coluche in:
THE SCHOOLTEACHER
Can you lower the music, we can’t hear each other.
I have a problem with a pair of trousers.
Size 36 is not size 37.
Even quieter!
- What is it? - A bigger size.
One moment. Shall we try this one?
Go ahead and take off your vest. It will suit you perfectly.
See? It suits you perfectly.
Look here, this is great. You look like a real hunter, have fun.
You can go pay. Don’t forget your vest!
You’re welcome. And how does it look here?
- That’s nice. - I’m still going for black.
Yes, that’s perfect.
Are you doing okay? You little creep!
- What’s going on? - He stole those boots!
That’s no reason to hit him!
- You are not paying for those boots! - Stop talking nonsense about those boots.
- Aren’t you happy? - No!
You can go, you’re fired!
You are a salesman, you can help the lady.
Give me my vest, I’m getting out of here. See you tonight.
- Come on, boy. - And the boots?
Put it on my account, bastard!
Bastard!
It’s “Mr. Bastard”!
You shouldn’t drink so fast, they won’t take it away from you.
- Do you want a napkin? - No, thank you.
Everything okay? How come you’re not at school?
Is there no school?
Look at me, are you skipping school? You can be honest, I don’t care.
- Which class are you in? - Ninth.
- Ninth... Can you read? - Not everything.
What do you mean, not everything? Either you can read or you can’t, right.
What can you read then? Comics for example?
- Yes. - We’ll see what you can do.
We definitely won’t have trouble with flies. What books do you have?
That looks pretty good.
Look, read this for a moment.
Move over.
Here. The big letters.
- And life... - Is that “life”?
- What is that? - And you... - Yes.
- Would know. - Would know...
- Qué. - Que.
- Le plus bravé. - It’s “brave”, there is no accent.
- It is... - César, it’s just César.
You see, you can do it. It’s even easier than stealing boots.
- Why don’t you go to school? - I don’t like it.
Why not? School is nice, you have your friends, don’t you?
- I don’t like my teacher. - Why not?
- Because she doesn’t like me. - That doesn’t sound good.
Did you go to school when you were little?
- Do you want another diabolo? - No, I’ll finish this one first.
Go ahead and drink it.
- Look. - Thanks.
- What are you going to do now? - I’ll come back.
Say, are we still getting married in August?
Yes, if you want. You’ll be marrying an unemployed man.
- But you’ll find something. - Work?
Everyone is looking for work.
Gérard, my father asked you again to come work for him. Just accept.
- In the fish mines? - Yes.
No.
I’m not a fish filleter, am I? I don’t even eat fish.
We would always have food.
- What could I do Charlotte? - You’ll find something.
I can’t do anything. But now I know. Of course.
- What then? - I have my high school diploma.
And I studied one year of law. I could still start as a teacher?
- Yes, that’s fine. - I’ll submit my application.
- That’s good. - I like children, I’ll send it in.
They are looking for teachers anyway... What do you think?
- Good. - Very good.
- This is Mr. Barbier. - Come in.
Please sit down.
- Did you fill in the form? - Yes.
You have a high school diploma, one year of higher studies.
- What studies? - I studied law.
- And you quit? - Yes, I wanted to start working.
We will take a look at this.
You only got a 1 in French and you also scored average in history.
- And you want to become a teacher? - Correct.
And do you have any idea how the school system is organized?
- No, I don’t know. - I must warn you...
when you start, it is the largest organization in the country.
That you work in an organization that has rather few resources.
It sells nothing, it only gives holidays, but it is poorly paid.
You should not expect to become rich from it.
Even for a primary school teacher, it is not the place to get rich.
Ah no, so...
If you want to become a teacher, you need time.
A lot of patience, it’s like in the army. You must dare to step out of line.
- Good, why do you want to become a teacher? - I think I’ll like it.
Have you ever worked with children, have you been a counselor?
No, not that, but I do like children.
Especially 10–12 year olds, they are discovering themselves.
You will have to be satisfied with what you get.
Yes, of course.
Do you have any questions for me?
Yes, don’t you have a manual on how to organize a class?
No manual. You will receive support though.
You can also ask your colleagues for tips.
- You learn by doing. - Of course.
Sir? Sir? Sir? Everyone stand up!
Everyone stand up. You may sit down.
We’re going to warm up, take your notebooks.
Ibrahim, I saw it, you’re writing on your neighbour’s.
Don’t say "no", I saw it myself. You
just copied it, I saw it.
So? You have to do homework at home. Do you live with 12 in one room?
Yes, then you just have to copy it, you’re right.
- Good morning sir. - Good morning.
- Are you the substitute? - Yes.
- I am the principal of this school. - Good morning Mr Principal.
- My apologies for my warm-up. - I saw it.
- You are very early here. - I didn’t want to be late.
7:30. You still have one hour. I will show you your room.
Good, I found my school notes again.
I don’t know if you’ll still need them, times are changing.
I can already imagine it, I close my school bag.
It’s not far, you know. It’s not a big room but it is comfortable.
With what we get from the ministry, that’s all I could find.
In winter I always drink rum. When summer comes I continue.
We continue, habit, you know.
I thought I still had a room, but I don’t.
- I’ll put you in the garden. - Okay.
There is some noise, but you’ll get used to it.
After a day of teaching you’ll be exhausted.
- I’ll put in earplugs. - That won’t be necessary.
Eat your toast.
You will handle the canteen section like Mrs LeBorgne did.
You will watch the children in and outside the canteen and while they eat.
For supervising them you will get 50 francs, and
if you work after school hours you get the same.
You’ll be happy at the end of the month.
There is Mrs Lajoie.
Mrs Lajoie, this is Mr Barbier who is replacing Mrs LeBorgne.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Can you help him for a moment? - Of course.
How are you this morning?
It’s not going well, I have a headache.
- What’s wrong? - Everything.
You’re not going to abandon us again, are you?
I don’t know, I have a headache. In the morning
I have a headache, when I get up, when I go to sleep.
My head!
Whose ball is this? Give me that ball! Give it here!
Give that ball here, give the ball!
I confiscate this ball.
You are warned, no more ball games in the playground.
The first one who brings a ball again can expect a sanction.
Whose ball is this?
- Well, I asked whose ball this is. - It’s my brother’s.
Your brother’s and sister’s, go to my office. We’ll talk a bit.
Go to my office! And the others keep playing.
Go back to playing, very calmly.
Come, you too.
- Get a bandage. - I’m going to the pharmacy.
Yes.
A ball is dangerous.
That’s Meignant, the union representative.
He’s up to something again today.
Good morning Mr Meignant, this is Mr Barbier who is replacing Mrs LeBorgne.
- Nice to meet you, very good. - Any news today?
Not today. It’s almost time. Mr Principal, Mr Barbier.
I’m not against striking, you know. Who has to explain it to the parents then?
- I don’t know. - The principal, right!
- Of course. - Of course.
The bell rings, school is back.
- A bit quieter. - Come, let’s go to your class.
You start with the roll call, the names are in Mrs LeBorgne’s notebook.
- Everything will be fine. - What do I start with then?
- You didn’t prepare? - They didn’t say anything.
You need some kind of manual, ask Mrs Lajoie.
Ask her for help, she will help you.
You will also need daily sheets for each subject.
- Good. - It’s not complicated.
- So how do I do it today? - Just improvise, okay.
I’ll drop by now and then, good luck.
Be determined!
Sorry for the wait. Go inside.
Line up please!
I am replacing Mrs LeBorgne...
your teacher, I hope I’ll like it.
The principal gave me a few tips.
I can warn you that I am determined.
So there is no point in causing trouble.
- Don’t make me shoot a dead man. - Who is dead?
- No one is dead, it’s a saying. - What is a saying, sir?
What is a saying... I will explain it.
It is a fixed expression in which the words have a figurative meaning...
have. A saying does not contain a verb and does not form a real sentence.
For example: "don’t make me shoot a dead man"
means: "don’t make me reprimand".
So that is a saying.
If we are good, do we get a saying?
- Do you want more sayings? - Sayings are expressions, right?
The expressions are abstract. Do you understand?
No comments yet. Be the first to leave one.